If your cat could speak

(i dont know if this has been done before)

What do you think he/she/they would say?


I think ATm Charlie wants to know what on EARTH is this box we've built in the backyard and why can't he climb over the weird wire walls lol

mine i imagine would say some very foul things so i'll leave it at that

I can interpret with almost 100% accuracy what one of them says. As this is a PG-rated site, I won't repeat those phrases here.

hmm heyu is a nag, so i am just happy, i cant fully understand her.
most of eazy would be feed me, play with me.

Oh goodness, right now she'd say

"Wt why did you put the blinds down now I can't sit in the windoooooooooooooow!"

And now "Why are you not giving me my third wet food of the day???" (She gets one, on top of the dry, until this whole recall thing is sorted out)

Zissou has such a fantastic temperament. She's just so tolerant and yet you know when you've crossed the line. I love her to death- her above quotes sound kind of hostile. We're roommate-quarreling right now, about bedtime and such!

Mine would have a few choice words to me, especially after we introduced not one, but two dogs to the family. Little one is just now gracing me with her presence!

I'd hope my girls would say thanks for rescuing me!!!

Smudgey would just tell us how much she loves us and how she loves to snuggle with daddy especially.

Stumpy would probably talk a million miles an hour about how she leaped up the wall and then she ran to the scratching post and leaped up that, then she ran into the bedroom and leaped onto the bed, then how she looooves catnip, and how she loves to climb the chairs, and how fun it is to scale the scratching post and leap off, and can she pleeeease have some more nip, and omg there's a bug and she'd better chase it.

Lily would just say "AHHHHHHHH don't look at me!!!!"

We play this game all the time at home- great fun for the po' folk!

Fuchi: "bleep you, you bleeping bleeps", to the rest of my family. To me: "I guess you're okay"

Pepper: "mommy. moooommmy. MOOOOOMMMMY. Did you hear me? MOMMMMMMMY!'

Gracie: "When are you all going to leave again?"

Dynamite: "Where did all these cats come from?"

My mate made up a good conversation about my cats the other day, aparently Kaylee was watching me sleep, and she said
"right tommy is down the street ill be back since mums asleep"
*few minutes later*
Kaylee lays back on the couch with Teufel and Rolls up a Joint
"that stupid cow laying in bed, never leaves us alone, when she does, she comes home smelling of garlic and alcohol, and then she smooches us, cuddles us, and annoys us, look at the yucky food we get, she forbidded us to have treats ever again, i hate that vet!"

"yeah i hate her too, she stuck some silly thing in my butt, and i tell ya that wasnt comphy"

"yeah mum is just a complete moron for believing the vet, WE ARE FINE AND WE WANT OUR BLEEPING TREATS!"

"Gotta go gotta go gotta go right now."

" Where the __ did my sweetgrass go lady!"

" I'm sneakin.... I'm sneakin.. AAAAAATTACKKKKKKK" "Hahaha that stupid dog doesn't know how to defend herself"

"ah, my master sure gives good belly rubs"

"Hey lady, gimmy food, um food! Hey lady don't you remember me....the Starved street cat..yeah.. I WANT FOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD. So I got a bit of extra padding... Diet! I don't need no stinkin diet. GIve me my food NOWWWWWWWWWW"

If mine could speak, I guarantee the majority of their conversations would be about food!

In my mind, Spike sounds kind of like Lenny from Of Mice and Men -- you know, "I want to pet the rabbit, George!" J and I frequently speak in what we call our "Spike" voice: "You're petting me! I like that! I'm a cat!" You can do pretty much anything you want to Spike, and he'll like it. I wear him as a (living) stole around my shoulders and he purrs like mad. J has a game called "Flip the Kitty" (which is much more gentle than it sounds ...) which Spike also adores. Basically, every "word" out of his mouth would be a sort of excited random babble.

Oz, on the other hand, has two voices, depending on his mood. The first one sounds sort of like Stewie Griffin from The Family Guy: we're convinced he's plotting to take over the world. He has this way of looking at us like he's saying "What the heck is wrong with you people?!?" and if he could talk, it wouldn't be to say anything nice. His other voice is more like a surfer dude, because he's just so laidback all the time. Nothing bothers this cat -- my friends call him a "West Coast cat." He just wants to eat, sleep, and have a little 'nip. Dude.

I think mine would tell me that the other 7 animals in the house just need to go.

"Hey Mommy, hey mommy, hey mommy... MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW It's 5:25PM You've been gone allll day at work. Today I had to play by myself. First I chased the fish, then then the mouse, then i got on top of the entertainment center and played with your turtle swimming around. Why didn't you ever tell me there was a living turtle in here? Did you know he can swim? Then i jumped down and laid on your bed. I took a nap all day. Then I got up and walked around the house 5 times. I drank my water. I ate my food. Then i drank some more water. Then I went into the closet and ate the food right out of the bag, because I know how much you like it when I rip the bag open. Then I had more water. Now where did that fish toy go? Oh wait, I found the catnip mouse. Oh by the way mommy, I'm really mad at you for leaving all day. So I'm going to rub my face in yours for the next 15 minutes. MEEEEEEEEEEEEOW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW Do you mind if i head butt you as hard as I can a few times? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW Pet me, Pet me, Pet me. Yes, right there. I love it when you rub my tummy. Oh Hey wait, that's too hard. I'm going to nibble on your hand because that was too hard. MEEEEEOW! I'm going to walk around and see how many people I can get to pet me. Oh wait I found that fish toy I was looking for. Mommy, will you throw it for me? NOW!!! I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready...... WHOOOOOOOOA you threw that toy far. Gotta get it, Gotta get it..... (played fetch for 10 minutes straight) I'm tired "


**I have a siamese mix... so this is only half of what he'd really be saying"