Ashie isn't well.............:(

They found a lot of fluid in Ashley's abdomen (it was really distended)....that is really really really bad , but are unsure where it is coming from. The doc said that generally it is something like a cancer, heart disease, etc. and that pretty much means INCURABLE. And, when asked if she would be here in a year, I was told, "Probably not".

OMG. I am a TOTAL WRECK right now. I did leave her so they could do some diagnostics on her to see if it is at least treatable. Man, it is going to cost anywhere from $1500-$2000, but I didn't know what else to do.

My husband is upset, as well, but he is taking on the stance of "If it isn't going to be curable, why carry on with the dianostics, etc to the tune of $2000?".

But then I am like, "How can I NOT at least TRY and help and make her comfortable?".

I am at a loss. I am not able to think clearly and am scared to DEATH of what this is going to do to me when Ashley ISN'T here...I mean, I totally expect to be devastated, but how to I maintain composure for my kids' sake?? How do I keep it all bottled up inside??

What would you guys do??? Would you just bring her home as is and let her live until she isn't here anymore?? Would you put her to sleep like now? Would you go through with the diagnostics?

My parents are totally going to pay the bill for us...but I want to do what is right, too.

And now I am sitting here really really upset and my 4 month old is in his swing next to me trying to get my attention by making his little happy baby noises....I look over at him and he smiles and I want to smile back at him to play along since that is what he wants and knows no better, but I am NOT happy....I am DISTRAUGHT as all hell.

I cannot even imagine what is going to happen when my 3 year old wakes up.

This is terrible.

I'm so sorry about Ashie.

I don't think you should keep it bottled up. I think it's better for your kids to see you grieve. My mother kept things bottled up, and it was so hard growing up thinking I had to keep it all inside too.

I wish you strength to endure, and something treatable for poor little Ashie.

So sorry to hear about Ashie. Yes, if it were me, I would definitely order the diagnostic tests. I'd want to know exactly what's going on with my kitty, to figure out the best way to treat her.

Originally Posted by Misty8723

I'm so sorry about Ashie.

I don't think you should keep it bottled up. I think it's better for your kids to see you grieve. My mother kept things bottled up, and it was so hard growing up thinking I had to keep it all inside too.

I wish you strength to endure, and something treatable for poor little Ashie.

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I think you should tell you 3yr old that Ashie is very ill and Mommy is sad because you all love her.

Originally Posted by Anakat

I think you should tell you 3yr old that Ashie is very ill and Mommy is sad because you all love her.

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I agree. The kids will know that you and your husband are upset, even if you try to keep everything bottled up.

And, I would certainly have diagnostic tests done in order to treat her correctly, or at least make her comfortable as long as possible. It's nice that your parents are willing to pay for the tests.

I am praying for you and Ashie.

I'm so sorry about Ashie.

There's no reason that you need to keep it all bottled up.
We have four kids and it was hard to tell them that Lizzie had gone to Heaven, but kids handle things surprisingly well.
I had even mentioned to our Vet that I didn't know how I was going to tell our kids and he told me that 9 times out of 10 the little ones handle it better than the adults.

We just had to have our Lizzie put to sleep, she had ovarian cancer and the Vet flat out told us that he knew he couldn't make her better and that putting her to sleep was our only real option.
He told us we could spend thousands, but they'd be spent in vain because in the end the outcome was going to be the same...we'd have to have her put to sleep.

BUT, if our Vet had given us a shred of hope we'd have spent any amount of money to make her well..unless of course she was suffering.
So if you're Vet feels she can have a good quality of life then I'd go for it.

I was in the same position as you, with a very lethargic cat that wasn't eating and had a lot of fluid in her abdomen.

It's a real personal choice on where you go from here, but I chose to pay the thousands for the tests. For me, it was a matter of knowing I did everything I could to diagnose this and try to save her life, and what if it were something curable? The tests were inconclusive in my case.

Did they drain some of the fluid to make her a bit more comfortable? They did that to Molly a few times while we were waiting for the test results and it did perk her up on both occasions.

I'm sorry you are going through this.