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How to inform cat of death of companion

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I had 2 cats, one was a house cat and one was a feral. The feral we took in about 4 years ago, and although he never completely warmed up to us, he loved our other cat. The two of them had their daily routines and all of that. The ferile had a urinary blockage which i heard was pretty common in males, it was tough to get him into the vet, and even tougher for them to treat him. He did not eat or drink while at the vet for about 3 days..
To make a long story short we brought him home, he was in pain and would not eat or drink, and we put him down because we couldnt let him continue to suffer and go through liver failure. Anyway our other cat has been looking for him and smelling some of his usual spots. She hasnt stopped eating or drinking, but I feel terrible that she doesnt know where he is. Does anyone know if theres any way we can give her some closure? It sounds crazy I guess, because I cant think of any way to inform her since we dont have his body. I also read they can sense our emotions, and maybe she has an idea that he is gone. In the mix of losing him, I feel even worse for her. Any information would be appreciated. Thanks
post #2 of 12
When I lost my Napoleon I brought him home and the others smelled him and saw him in his box before we buried him. His brother even licked him. But they all still grieved and looked for him, especially his sibling, Wellington, who was depressed for around three months. Some people say it works if you talk to your cat about the lost one, and tell them that they are gone.
post #3 of 12
Thread Starter 
we already had him cremated, so we arent able to show him to her. shes not acting too bad right now, but i know shes looking for him
post #4 of 12
You can do a search here in the behaviour forum on the subject, but i found this link that may help, but like Jenny said a lot of people tell their cats what happend to the one that died

post #5 of 12
Oddly enough our cats and dog do not do ANYTHING.

Blake(Corgi) and Gabby(cat) were very concerned when Snickers was dieing. Blake would lay next to him with Gabby close buy.

When snickers passed - it was like he was just . . . . nothing. No interest at all. It was like they knew that Snickers was no longer in that body and thus - had nothing to do with it.

Sort of like the movie K-Pax when he died. It was his body but not HIM.
post #6 of 12
Thread Starter 
thanks guys.. this morning she came in my room and she was looking under my bed.. shes sleeping at the end of my moms bed the past few nights, i guess to keep on the lookout in case he comes back.
post #7 of 12
Noel looked for Tavi (and a number of others that she's outlived, for one reason or another... our old dog who finally had to be put to sleep, and a younger cat who had health issues that $4000 and vet tests and autopsies still didn't produce an answer...)... she's always the one to search, and it takes her a long time. She still looks for Tavi sometimes and Tavi died on Thanksgiving of last year.

I just comfort her as much as possible and talk to her when she's looking, pet her.. she knows Tavi and Boone died, and I'm not certain who she's looking for currently, but she still searches, although not nearly as much as she used to. When Tavi passed.. we waited about a month and got another kitten. But Noel didn't bond with her the same way. Tavi was Noel's best friend. They recognize that they're gone, but I have no idea how it is that you can show them... my best guess is that you just help them go through mourning phase.

Good luck with it.
post #8 of 12
I'm having this same trouble with my Gracie right now.
She saw me carry her Sister Lizzie out the door last week to the Vet.
Sadly we had to have Lizzie put to sleep.
Now Gracie goes and sits in front of the door as if she's waiting for me to go bring Lizzie back.
Annabelle and Elliott don't seem bothered by the fact that Lizzie is gone, but poor little Gracie is really taking it hard.
She loved her Sister so much and she misses her.

I just pick Gracie up and cuddle her and tell her that I knew she's looking for her Sissy but that Lizzie was very sick and that she's not going to come home.
I even went so far as to tell her that some day years and years from now she'd see her Sister again and get to play with her...even showed her pictures of Lizzie.
Right now the only thing that seems to comfort Gracie is for me to hold her and talk to her as the others have suggested.
post #9 of 12
Thread Starter 
yea im not sure if telling her is good, because when you say their name they will know who youre talking about, but wont know what youre saying
post #10 of 12
They won't understand what you're saying, but they'll sense your emotional state and smell the emotion when you talk about the other kitty. They can pick up on that. Just like Noel would pick up on (and any other time) that I'm really upset or crying, and she'll completely act differently.. jumping up and putting her paws on me and meowing in my face and nudging me. There's a marked difference in how she reacts when she knows i'm upset. And she gets angry and can tell who I'm angry at. She gives them an attitude or smacking down, and it's always exactly who I'm mad at.
post #11 of 12
Thread Starter 
thanks for the help
post #12 of 12
Good luck! Keep us updated!
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