Handling old people's tantrums

My dad just shouted at me just for asking one question. My mom wanted to borrow an old oxygen tank which I used for my asthmatic son a long time ago. Of course she could have it but I asked if the doctor recommended it. My dad suddenly shouted that if I did not want to lend it out just to say and stop beating around the bush. Sheesh.
Do we get so cranky when we turn 80?

maybe he's just had a rough day and was just snappy. i'm sorry he shouted at you- he should not have done that.

Thanks. Maybe he wanted the oxygen tank for himself.

i cant say anyting to my father without lots of yelling on this part,
i just ingnore it

What did he want it for?

Compressed oxygen is classified as a drug and requires a prescription. Many don't realize this but there is such a thing as "too much oxygen".

If a person has a lung disease like emphysema, bronchitis, asthma etc, and their normal oxygen levels are lower than normal, their breathing stimuls then becomes the amount of carbon dioxide in their blood. If they get too much oxygen that throws their blood carbon dioxide levels out of whack and slows their breathing down and can also stop their breathing and they can die.

Unless he's wanting it for a paper weight, I wouldn't care how much he yelled, I wouldn't give it to him.

i think yayi is in the philippines, the same rules do not always apply on how you can get some medical items, Like i did not need a written oder for diabetics drugs i couple of places

But you are right. they should be very careful with its use.

Originally Posted by theimp98

i think yayi is in the philippines, the same rules do not always apply on how you can get some medical items, Like i did not need a written oder for diabetics drugs i couple of places

But you are right. they should be very careful with its use.

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That shocks me! Because regardless of geographic location, our bodies all have the same anatomy and physiology, so the same rules of too much oxygen would still apply. People with free reign of compressed oxygen can do themselves real harm.

As for the diabet medications, I'm appauled that you were able to acquire them without a doctor's prescription.

Unfortunately it is like this in many places in the third world. We just watched a documentary last night on how Chinese families are getting around the one child policy. It has a loophole in that women can only give birth once. So if you have twins, you can keep both babies. Many chemists in rural China sell fertility drugs over-the-counter without prescription. So women are taking them and having multiple births. One lady had quintuplets. She kept four of the children and gave one of the girls away. And there's nothing the government can do about it.

Before I'd give my parents the oxygen tank, I'd bleed off the rest the of the oxygen. Then it would be ooooophs, I must not have close the valve tight enough, so sorry. Without a doctor's order, it can't be refilled.

And I agree it isn't safe to use without a doctor monitoring it's use. While a low rate probably wouldn't hurt them, most people will just crank it up too high because they don't understand the problems it can cause.

I can really sympathize, Maria. I'm dealing with two 80+ in-laws with memory problems, have a mother in her mid-seventies with Alzheimers, and my father suffered a stroke and was a long-term critical-care, unreasonable patient. Just be patient, and say yes, you're doing what you can. Good luck, and feel free to PM me when it gets bad.

I hear you. My parents are in their 80s, but they've always been unreasonable. I think it has gotten worse as they got older since their friends (and parents and siblings) are all dead and there's nobody to keep them in check. Good luck.

Yea my parents are hitting their 70s this year and already they're stating their opinions without less thought.

A friend of mine explained it best (though its grim). Basically she said that they reach a certain point in their lives when they accept that they're going to die.
Then they just say whatever comes to mind, because so what?! They might be dead in a couple of years.

I personally plan on being a grumpy old woman at 80. I think it'll be fun to be able to yell and critisize people all I want.

Originally Posted by lunasmom

Yea my parents are hitting their 70s this year and already they're stating their opinions without less thought.

A friend of mine explained it best (though its grim). Basically she said that they reach a certain point in their lives when they accept that they're going to die.
Then they just say whatever comes to mind, because so what?! They might be dead in a couple of years.

I personally plan on being a grumpy old woman at 80. I think it'll be fun to be able to yell and critisize people all I want.

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Your parents are going to be in their 70's!?!? You look so young to have parents that age

Yes, we do tend to get difficult in old age, and sometimes It's just age and nothing more... but sometimes it's a sign of dementia or Alzheimer's. If you think your dad may be developing that kind of trouble, please ask a doctor to evaluate him for it. There are medicines now that can slow the advance of these illnesses, and the sooner the diagnosis, the better.

My father has Alzheimer's, and what you described is the kind of exchange that happens several times a day in our house. But he's still himself at times, too, so that's good. The other day he scared me to death, though, referring to something that happened in 1999 as "two years ago." When I pointed it out to him, though, he took a moment and realized what year it really is. Thank heaven.

I hope your father isn't sick -- I hope he's just an ordinary Grumpy Old Man!