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Enjoy your weekend, honey. I will stay home and clean your castle.

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
**Warning!! Gender-profiling taking place**

How did women get so lucky? My boyfriend plays golf every weekend from noon til dark. I clean. Normally, I don't mind b/c it gives me some time to myself and gets him out of my way; but when I only have one day off or its been a month since I've had a weekend off work, I get pretty p*ssed that it falls back on me. All I have to do is ask for his help and he'll do it (he's not a complete jerk), but he does it half-a**ed or not up to my standards (on purpose? ) and it just irritates me and starts an arguement.
So I'm raving today because I have been up since 4:30 ("somebody's" cats were in my kitchen knocking stuff over and fighting). He's already gone (had to work half day only b/c his golf buddy is working, too) but will be playing golf this afternoon. Here's my agenda:
1) Clean house (dust, vac, sweep/mop, etc)
2) Do laundry
3) Scoop litter
4) Put clean sheets on bed
5) Take shower
6) Take empty gas tank off grill and lug downstairs to car
7) Go to the grocery store
8) Buy food for UFC gathering and fill gas tank, lug back to car
9) Get home, lug groceries up; leave gas tank (too heavy to carry upstairs)
10) Promised friend I would go shopping with her this afternoon (find time)
11) Get air in tire b/c its low (pay $1 to someone for air; that's ludacris!)
12) Rush back home to prepare feast for friends and person I dread seeing (see other thread by me)

UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
post #2 of 13
Man, I feel the same way too. I don't mind cleaning because messiness makes me go crazy (and Jim does it all half-butted too ) but sometimes it is really tiring, especially after work and stuff! Last week Jim and I didn't come home from work until 5 AM (we got there at 11 AM!!!! O_O) and I had to clean up the whole place since we were picking up my brother and cousin at the airport later that day.... Jim just flopped down in the bed and went to sleep. I didn't even get to bed until 8 and then had to wake up 2 hours later to go to the airport! O_O AAAH!!!!
post #3 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taurus77 View Post
**Warning!! Gender-profiling taking place**

How did women get so lucky? My boyfriend plays golf every weekend from noon til dark. I clean. Normally, I don't mind b/c it gives me some time to myself and gets him out of my way; but when I only have one day off or its been a month since I've had a weekend off work, I get pretty p*ssed that it falls back on me. All I have to do is ask for his help and he'll do it (he's not a complete jerk), but he does it half-a**ed or not up to my standards (on purpose? ) and it just irritates me and starts an arguement.
So I'm raving today because I have been up since 4:30 ("somebody's" cats were in my kitchen knocking stuff over and fighting). He's already gone (had to work half day only b/c his golf buddy is working, too) but will be playing golf this afternoon. Here's my agenda:
1) Clean house (dust, vac, sweep/mop, etc)
2) Do laundry
3) Scoop litter
4) Put clean sheets on bed
5) Take shower
6) Take empty gas tank off grill and lug downstairs to car
7) Go to the grocery store
8) Buy food for UFC gathering and fill gas tank, lug back to car
9) Get home, lug groceries up; leave gas tank (too heavy to carry upstairs)
10) Promised friend I would go shopping with her this afternoon (find time)
11) Get air in tire b/c its low (pay $1 to someone for air; that's ludacris!)
12) Rush back home to prepare feast for friends and person I dread seeing (see other thread by me)

UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I feel your pain! This sounds like my life, without the golf--he's a WWII reenactor (I am a former, since I got married, Civil War/Rev War reenactor. Note the "Since I got married" part. It explains a lot...).

I call my house "Thirteen rooms of fun and fur." He's away today (at his parents'), so I can't complain about that--they live 3 hours away; I didn't go because I'm having my Mom over for dinner tomorrow, and need to clean, plan the menu, etc.--and I couldn't get up to leave at 5AM. However, he has been away a lot recently, reenacting, and with his friends. I don't mind him having his outside interests. I just don't like it when he seems to think I sit here all day, and the cleaning magically gets done by itself! Nine cats and a husband maketh much cleaning... He's only responsible for loading and unloading the dishwasher, mowing the lawn, and putting out the trash. I've ended up doing all of these, except the lawn mowing (he's tried to get me to do that, too.). On the bright side, he will cook for me if I ask (but I don't like his cooking!), and will clean if I ask him to do a small thing, such as vacuum a room.


MargeCat

I was up at 6:30 this morning, cleaning his bathroom, my bathroom, the upstairs hallway, and the master bedroom. I've done a load of laundry, and the dishes, fed the cats, did the litter so far.
post #4 of 13
Um... that kind of stuff wouldn't fly in my house. If my husband wants clean clothes he does his own laundry. If he wants clean dishes, he can wash them.

To make things less hectic we've spilt the chores down the middle, and set aside time to do them together. We also grocery shop together, making a date out of it.

I feel your pain, but it sounds like you may need to renegotiate some house rules so things don't get out of hand.
post #5 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
I feel your pain, but it sounds like you may need to renegotiate some house rules so things don't get out of hand.
You let him get away with it, then if you guys have a long term future together, he'll always just assume that's the way things are, and that you're happy with it!

I'm lucky in that my DH moved out of home and lived on his own pretty much as soon as he finished high school, so learnt how to be self sufficient pretty fast.

I work full time, and study part time as well, so during my university semester, he won't LET me help with housework (except for putting the washing away and making the bed, he hates that ). So he does all the cleaning, and if we eat at home, generally all the cooking as well.

When I'm on a break from uni, we share the load, and we've always shopped together, it's more enjoyable when we do it together, and we generally forget less stuff if we're both there I mean, we will go separately if we need something and the other is busy, but it's definitely not "the woman's job".

And frankly, I wouldn't let it be any other way. It's only the woman's job because you LET IT BE!!!! If you start a relationship and do everything for him to show you can keep a house clean to try to impress him or whatever, then of course he'll never lift a finger! From day one it has to be a shared task - especially if you both work full time! If I'm not working, I'll do all the housework, because I think that's a fair compromise.
post #6 of 13
I guess I'm pretty lucky here. My husband served in the Army for four years, so he knows how to iron, fold clothes, sew on a button, make a bed, etc. And he cleans up after himself for the most part.

I don't work right now because it's summer and school is out (college), so I do a lot of the stuff, but he always takes out the trash for me and cleans up after himself so I don't have to do so much.

When we are both working, he pitches in more and usually does dishes, vacuums and does a general pick up of the place. Though, I typically take care of ridding the place of bacteria I guess men don't really think the floor is a priority. I always do the floors, toilet, kitchen counters and dusting no matter what.

I couldn't ask for a better DH
post #7 of 13
Yikes! You need to talk to him about this. This isn't right. When we have company DH shops and prepares the food and will clean the kitchen. I will do the rest of the apartment. Sarah's right you can't let him get away with this all the time. There has to be a middle round.
post #8 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahp View Post
:
I'm lucky in that my DH moved out of home and lived on his own pretty much as soon as he finished high school, so learnt how to be self sufficient pretty fast.

I work full time, and study part time as well, so during my university semester, he won't LET me help with housework (except for putting the washing away and making the bed, he hates that ). So he does all the cleaning, and if we eat at home, generally all the cooking as well.
Does he have a much older brother who likes chubby women?
post #9 of 13
you definitely need to have a chat with him. and lay down the law.

DH and i have a pretty good arrangement. right now i'm working part time, so i do most of the chores. however, he still does the laundry. occasionally vacuums (although most of the time i do it). he also handles car maintenance (which can involve anything from oil change, top off fluids, to changing the alternator). if i'm sick he will scoop kitty boxes. and puts his dishes in the sink. we have a dishwasher thank goodness. we both hate dish washing. we rent, so no yard work or house repairs to deal with. and generally he doesn't make a huge mess then expect me to clean it.
post #10 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny1124 View Post
I guess I'm pretty lucky here. My husband served in the Army for four years, so he knows how to iron, fold clothes, sew on a button, make a bed, etc. And he cleans up after himself for the most part.

I don't work right now because it's summer and school is out (college), so I do a lot of the stuff, but he always takes out the trash for me and cleans up after himself so I don't have to do so much.

When we are both working, he pitches in more and usually does dishes, vacuums and does a general pick up of the place. Though, I typically take care of ridding the place of bacteria I guess men don't really think the floor is a priority. I always do the floors, toilet, kitchen counters and dusting no matter what.

I couldn't ask for a better DH
My husband was both in the Army and the Marine Corps for 9 years; and knows how to do the above, but pretends not to!

Your hubby is a gem!

MargeCat
post #11 of 13
That would NEVER fly over here! We both chip in. We both do our own laundry, do dishes together, cook together, clean for the most part together (or if it's at different times we at least both chip in). Colin was in the Navy for 8 years before he became a cop so i think that's part of the reason he's so disciplined/tidy. My mom cleans houses for a living so that kind of wore off on me. We both live here- so we both take care of our house. You need to talk to him kindly and tell him (but reword it) what you've told us. You're tired, you work all week- you need help! But be specific- it'll never get done if you tell him you want him to clean the house -instead tell him you need him to vaccume, sort the laundry/etc.
post #12 of 13
Darn....I can't get the girls to lift a paw around here!
post #13 of 13
My ex was kinda the same..he would play video games while I cleaned all the time. Once I asked him to help me he would though..he was not too bad.

It is very annoying, I don't think alot of guys know all we have to do.
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