She's coming over tonight and I can't stand her!!!!!

My boyfriend's best friend, J, is coming over tonight to watch the fight with us. He's bringing his "girlfriend". She is pregnant and moves out of his house every other weekend, I swear! They argue, she leaves. J hardly comes around anymore b/c of her and her temper, so its rare that BF and J hang out together. I don't dislike or like J, but for the sake of BF, I tolerate him. J's GF, however, is so fake and two-faced. J has told my BF that she is nice to everybody but as soon as they are away from them she bad-mouths and never likes anyone.
I didn't like her before knowing that. My problem is that I should be civil b/c of my BF & J's friendship, but I don't like fake people and I certainly don't like being that way myself. So, do I pretend to care about what she has to spew from her mouth or just talk when I need to? I love to entertain, but hate it when those sorts of people are around.

It is your house, you should not put up with a guests crap. I think an ultimatum should be made with you BFs friend. But talk to your BF first. tell him how you feel, put your foot down and tell him you will only allow his friend to come over if he doesn't bring his gf. It isnt right

I've been a bystander in this situation. If she's not around very often it's probably better just to smile and deal with it. Telling your bf his best friend can only come over without his girlfriend is tantamount to saying he can't come over unless he has a huge fight with his girlfriend about it, ie, he can't come over... which will lead straight to your boyfriend resenting you for not letting him see his best friend.

Be friendly but not fake. I know exactly how you feel. DH's best friend is married to my ex-best friend and I still can't stand her. I wish you luck.

Not much you can do, J can't not invite his pregnant GF!

All I can say is she's probably more cranky at the moment because she's tired and hormonal, so make sure she can put her feet up, have non-alcoholic drinks for her, ask questions about the baby, and just stay as polite as possible, and maybe stay between her and the boys so they can have quality "mate time" together, and the GF can hopefully stay happy enough.

It's a lot of work to entertain people like that, but if it's something that doesn't happen often, I'm sure your BF would really appreciate it

Yea, unfortunately just keep a happy face on for the sake of your BF and his friend.

HOwever if she's really that's bad about being two faced, I usually like to pick something to make them 2-face me. Then I don't feel like she's randomly picking on me behind my back...I choose what she talks about behind my back.

I.e., by something very gaudy and talk about how great you think it is or cook something she may not like and talk about how great it is

Still treat her as a guest though

when i came back here, Oneof my best friends got married,
several months after, we stopped talking to each other.
all due to how she acts. Sometimes friendships have to end.

IMHO, Just be polite, keep the conversation light and topical (absolutely nothing personal- and if she tries to go there, just state that you are a very private person and don't discuss things like that with other people, or change the subject, or go get a soda and ask if she wants one, etc., , and just let it roll off your back.

Just treat her like a stranger, as that seems to be about as personal as one would want to get with her. Kill 'em with kindness, as they say .

Then, if or when the (you know what) hits the fan between her and him or your bf and his best friend (possibly because of her), you can be happy about not having to see her with a clear concience.

I would put my foot down about traveling with them (like a trip to the beach or something) unless it involves very seperate housing, though. LOL

J and his GF called at 8:30 (when everyone was coming over) and said they were at "her folks' house" fixing to eat, they would be late. BF had told J earlier that we were grilling before watching the fight. So, when they finally showed up, they didn't eat anything. I had spent soooo much more money than I needed to. Luckily, we had 2 other friends over, but still a lot of food leftover.
But, anyway, I pretty much kept to myself. I spoke when I could think of something but made no huge effort to keep a conversation going. I did offer her drinks, ice cream and olives, etc. (She's pregnant, who knows what combination of stuff she likes?)

That's rude to go to dinner when you made dinner for them

Oh well, it sounds like it was bearable anyway.

The things we do for love, ey?

Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom

I've been a bystander in this situation. If she's not around very often it's probably better just to smile and deal with it. Telling your bf his best friend can only come over without his girlfriend is tantamount to saying he can't come over unless he has a huge fight with his girlfriend about it, ie, he can't come over... which will lead straight to your boyfriend resenting you for not letting him see his best friend.

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I will agree... It's actually happend to me and my boyfriend when we first started dating...

I feel for you!!! I have dealt with some people that I don't care for one bit. My cousin had a wife like this lady.....they have a kid now and are divorced. He finally listened to the family after the girl started seeing another guy and told my cousin she was too busy to do something for his birthday.....then he saw her get in a car with this guy of hers.

Just put up with it for now, that's the only advise I've got for you. Maybe their relationship will end up like my cousins!!!

I think you handled it the right way...sometimes it's just better to be tolerant, knowing that it only has to be for a short while.

Originally Posted by wookie130

I think you handled it the right way...sometimes it's just better to be tolerant, knowing that it only has to be for a short while.

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Especially when its for your bf