Originally Posted by sarahp
Even if she is, by the time her child is 20, she'll be 80!!!! That seems unfair on the kid
it is unfair. When and if i have children (even adopted ones) my parents will most likely not be around to see them. I believe it is really unfair to wait so long, even to the 40's, to have babies. You cannot guarantee you will be around to see that child grow up. Not with cancer and heart disease and all that killing people off. Yes, we can stave many of those things off, but it still is no guarantee you'll live to see your kid graduate from high school.
I personally believe that women who purposely wait until they are 38 or older to have a child are being selfish. Yes, there are exceptions, such as a woman not finding her soulmate until later... sure. But there are things to do, like adopting an older kid (as opposed to an infant) that help the age gap.
As for those who say that age does not affect parenting skills... yes and no. When you're dealing with hot flashes and all that other stuff that comes with Menopause, will you really want ot get down on the floor with a 2 year old and chase it around, keeping it out of trouble? Maybe, maybe not.
OTOH, you can be older, or any age, and raise a well-behaved child (although the trend I've seen of kids lately is on the not-so-well-behaved side... younger and older parents alike).
As I said before, I have older parents... and they weren't ideal... namely my mother. there were some good and bad things about my raising... lack of discipline and focus among the bad. Negative treatment towards the kids, bad. On the good side, she raised us to be unique individuals. Although it's not like she meant that outcome. And for all her negativity, I edned up halfway decent... although that came from my rebelliousness of her negative attitude. For years I thought my dad was just like her... not so. He just left the raising of us to her. i wish he hadn't. He's really a great guy.
I'm gonna stop now before I say stuff that pushes this to IMO... man, I'm getting feisty... really should channel that into my creative efforts.