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Bridal Shower? Help!

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
My future sister-in-law's bridal shower is this upcoming Saturday, and tonight I'm going to pick up a present for it. Fortunately, she has a registry; unfortunately, I've never been to a bridal shower before and I have no clue what to do. How much should I spend on this gift, when I know J and I will be getting the bride and groom a gift for the wedding itself? Does the gift come from me to just the bride, or to the bride and groom, or does it come from J and I to the bride, or from J and I to the bride and groom? (It's a women's only bridal shower. There will mercifully be no strippers or exotic dancers ... I hope -- J's mother and aunt will be there! )

My particular circle of friends was pretty much already paired up and married off by the time I showed up, so I missed out on all of this stuff. I hate going into situations where I don't know what to expect ... I know this is supposed to be fun, but I'm just stressing about it. Help!
post #2 of 11
Is there a theme to the bridal shower? Some showers have a theme like "bathroom, kitchen, etc"...gives you some idea of what to get. You may want to call the hostess and ask if she didn't specify. Usually, around here anyway, a bridal shower is smaller gifts from the registry. It normally is presents for the bride, not the bride and groom, but it can go either way. I went to one where the guests were asked to prepare a dish and the bride-to-be kept the dishes (and the left overs) which was a cool idea. But that was explained on the invite. Basically, call and find out, relax and enjoy yourself!

The strippers are probably going to be saved for the bachlorette party!
post #3 of 11
Bridal shower gift is from you to the bride, wedding gift is from you (and your partner) to the Bride and Groom.
Normally bridal shower gifts are household items like towls and linens or things to spoil the bride like bath stuff or gift certificated for manicures and stuff.
post #4 of 11
The present should be from you to the bride. It can be for both the bride and the groom, but it just address it to the bride as it is a women only shower. The amount of money you spend should be determined by 1) your financial means and 2) how close your are to the bride and groom. If I go to a shower with someone I know (eg, me and my mom or a friend) we often get together on a shower present, therefore we can get something more expensive from the list. I tend to spend $50 for a bridal shower and $100 to $150 per person (so up to $300 for hubby and I) for a wedding present. For the shower I tend to give a gift and for the wedding I tend to give money.

Relax and have fun!
post #5 of 11
Yes, as everyone has stated the bridal shower gift is from you and the wedding gift is from you and your SO.

My friend was married last year (Jamaica, actually) and instead of getting gifts off her list, I got her a bunch of manicure and pedicure stuff. I.e. nailpolish, pumice stone, nail file, toe separator etc...heck even a neck cushion for the trip down. I did this mainly because I was always taught that the bridal shower was suppose to be about the bride, rather than the bride and groom.
I was a little embarrassed though because I was the only one that didn't get her something off her registry. That was the first time I ever witnessed that though.

So as a gift, when in doubt just get something off the registry.
post #6 of 11
My cousin is getting married in less than two weeks. She's had, I believe, four or more showers. So, by the last one (I only went to 2), her registry was pretty much done. In that case, you can always go with something that is obviously useful. I got a set of stainless steel mixing bowls. I find that you can never have too many mixing/serving bowls and such.

I'm totally stuck on a wedding gift, though. We're super broke this month, and I still have to get a dress. We had to buy a new suit for bf and he still needs shoes (his grandma offered) and a shirt and tie. So, I can't afford to give money, because you need to give more than what you might find a decent present for. I need a present that seems expensive but actually isnt....?!? Maybe someone has an idea?
post #7 of 11
I was just thinking back (way back) to my shower and the gifts I recieved. 1 of my favs wasn't off my list. A few friends got together and got me laundry baskets and filled them with useful household items as we didn't live together at the time and were starting a new household together. The basket included cleaning supplies (paper towels, sponges, dish soap, etc), hangers (nice ones), laundry things, kitchen gadgets (vegie peelers, wooden spoons, etc), dish towels and various other items. it was extremely useful and saved me from having to purchase many of these items for myself. Everything that could be wrapped in the laundry basket was wrapped in dish towels.
post #8 of 11
Just because she's registered doesn't mean that you must get something from that particular list. The rule of thumb is buy what you can afford.
post #9 of 11
I believe that the gift should be to the bride and groom from you and J. Unless you think that it needs to be from just you to the bride. I have been to almost 20 wedding showers and the ladies all do different things.
post #10 of 11
Originally Posted by Leli View Post
My cousin is getting married in less than two weeks....
I'm totally stuck on a wedding gift, though. We're super broke this month... I need a present that seems expensive but actually isnt....?!? Maybe someone has an idea?
My favorite gift to give are the toasting flutes for the reception dinner. First, make sure the bride herself didn't buy them. Then go to one of the better stores and check out their Lenox and other fine crystals. Believe it or not, most stores have big sales on them in May and June (wedding months) and you can get a nice set for under $30.00. I then take them to a glass engraver and have their names and dates engraved. You pay by the letter.

I just gave my best friend a gorgeous set. They were on sale $19.99 down from $39.99 and the engraving cost me an additional $10.00. I was flying to the wedding so I couldn't afford a larger gift.
post #11 of 11
My favorite wedding gift wasn't on my registry, and not expensive at all. It was a basket with candles in it of varying shapes and colors and a poem that explained what each set of candles symbolized. It was so meaningful and personal...it meant a lot to me. I've since reproduced the poem and created a similar basket to give to other friends who are getting married, and everyone has loved it. (Sometimes I give it in addition to a check...sometimes as a shower gift...it depends on the person.) I can send you the poem if you like.

Another idea for an inexpensive but meaningful gift is to do a framed poem or some other kind of keepsake in honor of their wedding. My parents sell them (not online, though) and they're very popular as wedding gifts. (There are lots of online places that sell them.) You could also have their wedding invitation nicely framed.
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