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From co-sleeping to crib

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Has anyone out there in TCS land done co-sleeping with their kids? I have done co-sleeping with both Kevin and now Derek. Kevin was fairly easy to transition into his crib. Derek will not, I repeat, will not, sleep in his crib - not even for nap. He naps in his swing, but is getting too big for it. He also is a bed hog and tries to push me out of bed everynight. Does anyone have any ideaas how to transition him from co-sleeping to his own crib? I will not let him cry it out - that can lead to abandonment and insecurity issues.

Thanks.
post #2 of 16
I have with all of them, but not every night! It's ok to co-sleep until their two years old.
I used to love sleeping with them, they were so cuddly, I was always so tired, I slept like a log and so did they, they felt secure.
post #3 of 16
Maybe you should give the little guy more time. Talk to him about it now, though, and say you're there for him, but soon he'll want the roominess of his own bed.

You could tell him if he falls asleep in his bed, he can come into yours during the night if he needs to. He might start finding it's too crowded in your bed.

I know two mothers (of an 8 year-old and a 12-year old) whose kids STILL sleep with them. They are both single moms, so maybe that has something to do with it.

Good luck!
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
Maybe you should give the little guy more time. Talk to him about it now, though, and say you're there for him, but soon he'll want the roominess of his own bed.

You could tell him if he falls asleep in his bed, he can come into yours during the night if he needs to. He might start finding it's too crowded in your bed.

I know two mothers (of an 8 year-old and a 12-year old) whose kids STILL sleep with them. They are both single moms, so maybe that has something to do with it.

Good luck!
Don't know if the Dh will put up with it for that long!
post #5 of 16
How old is he? My girls recently started going through the monsters in the closet phase. Have you tried a night light or anything ot help alleviate it if that is the case. Or maybe you need something from your room like a pillow or blanket to lay with him. My girls were out of my bed on their own at 4 mths....Katy however will still sleep with Dave for a nap
post #6 of 16
When my nephew was 2 he stayed with me for a year and he was just like that. He did not and would not sleep anywhere but in the bed with me. And he wouldnt go to sleep on his own at all and he would kick me all night long too. He was all over the bed.

All I knew to do was rock him and cuddle him at bed time until he would go to sleep. And then I would put him in his bed. But he would always wake up and come to my bed. It was so sweet to wake up and there be a little face sleeping right next to you awwwwww, but we did this for months me rocking him and putting him in his bed then him coming to mine until eventually he just started sleeping through the night in his bed. Then I missed him in mine.
post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhosaMyHercules View Post
How old is he? My girls recently started going through the monsters in the closet phase. Have you tried a night light or anything ot help alleviate it if that is the case. Or maybe you need something from your room like a pillow or blanket to lay with him. My girls were out of my bed on their own at 4 mths....Katy however will still sleep with Dave for a nap

He was 1 on May 2nd
post #8 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pami View Post
...eventually he just started sleeping through the night in his bed. Then I missed him in mine.
I missed our daughter, too!
post #9 of 16
He might be hitting that scaredy cat stage of life. What about a security blanket or something. Katy has a spongebob pillow that an old roommate made in school. When they bonded she used to sleep in his room with him for naps and he gave her this pillow before he moved out. She will not go anywhere with out to bubbob pillow. Something like that might work to help make it easier. Pami has some great advice, it may take a while to break the habit but it will happen eventually. Ohh new idea..What about a toddlerbed? It might be the enclosure of the crib, a toddler bed with side guards could help and still leave him with the option of coming to you if he gets scared.
post #10 of 16
I babysit a little guy who slept with his parents until he was two. He had a really hard time learning to sleep on his own at naptime.
I did lay down with him to sleep for the first couple of months but soon grew really tired of it...So...here's what I did.

This Idea takes awhile...you have to be VERY patient

Instead of laying with him I placed a chair next to the bed and sat quietly reading when I put him to bed. He looked at me like I was crazy at first but I told him that it was time for nap and I was going to read while he slept.
It worked! He tried talking to me for a few minutes and then his eyes got droopy and he was out

The first day I tried to leave the room while he was sleeping and he woke up instantly...so back to my chair I went
In one day he was falling asleep ON HIS OWN with me sitting next to the bed.
Gradually,I began moving the chair further away until I reached the doorway. He was always a bit concerned with each transition but as long as he could see me he didn't cry.

The chair and I finally worked our way into the living room about week 4!
He would fall asleep looking at me and then I was free to do whatever I needed to do.

Week 5 I put him to bed, gave him a kiss and a "I love you" told him that I'd see him after nap and walked out of his view. He called for me , I told him that I was in the living room and would see him after nap and HE WENT RIGHT TO SLEEP!!!

It's been about a year now and he is doing GREAT! I had his parents do the same at their home and he no longer sleeps in their bed unless they ask him to.
post #11 of 16
Quote:
I will not let him cry it out - that can lead to abandonment and insecurity issues.
I am NOT in any way disagreing with what you believe.But, mine have cried and it didn't hurt them.
I hope that you are able to figure it out.
post #12 of 16
My parents would not ever let any of us co-sleep, and, this is going to sound really selfish I'm sure, but I'm thinking I might lay down the same law.

I never, ever slept in bed with my parents, even when I was sick (well, my mom or dad would sleep on the extra bed in my room with me if I was really sick) and they put 2 beds in each girl's room so we could crawl into bed with each other if we were "scared", but neither one of us went through the scared-to-sleep-alone phase....probably because that's all we ever knew!

On the flip side, I have a really tough tim sleeping with other people in the room, to this day. Made camp and dorms and hotels on vacations tough.
post #13 of 16
I've never heard the term "co-sleeping". I understand what you mean, but to give it a name is kind of odd to me.

I will preface this with by saying that no, I do not have kids, but I'm an Aunt and know a lot about them; all my friends have them.

Personally, and I don't want this to turn into a thread like the "harness/leash" one - haha - I do not feel it is healthy for the child and especially not the marriage. I think it makes the marriage to "child focused" and blurs the boundary lines. Gotta take care of the husband's needs ya know!

I can see if the child is sick or had a nightmare - sure, every once in awhile. But to me, the child needs to have his/her own space and the husband and wife need to have their own space.

I can't imagine a situation where it would ever be ok to let them sleep with you regularly.

*goes to hide
haha
post #14 of 16
Just curious as to why you're choosing to transition him out of the family bed?

We co-sleep with our son, he turned 3 in April. He's gone to bed in his bed once, but come back to "the big bed" after an hour or so. I'm confident that he'll transition to sleeping alone when he's ready.

We have a queen sized bed and a double bed side by side, so there is plenty of room. I know other co-sleeping families who have similar arrangements. Some people transition slowly by putting the baby/child on a mattress on the floor beside the bed.

Pop on over to www.mothering.com and have a look at the articles and the discussion boards, I'm sure you'll find it helpful.

(the above is written by my sister)
post #15 of 16
ok I didnt do the co-sleeping with my kids they were alowed to come in if they had a nightmare stuff like that. If they felt like they need to sleep in our room they were able to lay on the floor they soon find out that their bed is more comfy.

I have 1 question though when do you um... well get time to you know.
post #16 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by april31 View Post
I have 1 question though when do you um... well get time to you know.

He does nap in his swing.....
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