We don't get along well...

Hi all,
Hope you can remember my story with Singa (my resident cat) and our new-comer in February Soleil.

I'm a bit sad, because I just can't warm up to Soleil. She is cute and all, but she is so much more naughty than Singa when she was a kitten. Soleil completely does not want me to hold her and she does not want to cuddle or anything. She is a bit more open to my BF. She keeps on scratching the couch - all training methods including Feliway do not work, so I keep on scolding her and trying to set her in from of the 'real' scratching tree. REcently when I did that she tried to scratch me in the face - more the eye tho. Luckly she couldn't reach. I have the feeling she thinks I'm a piece of furniture that moves. She jumps on me while running around - basically as if I was not a living being, but a couch. She has even managed to jump into my back with claws out and everything, in one of her "I'm hunting invisible mice" moods.

I really don't know how to love her! I mean I do in a way, but nothing like I love my Singa. She would never use her claws on anything, except when she is scared to take a bath

I really don't know what to do with her... How can I get her to warm up with me and how can I get myself to love her???

Well, first of all you must realize not every cat is going to be the cuddle on your lap type. They are just like people in the fact that they are all different. Some people like hugs, and some people don't. Cats are the same.

Secondly, she is zooming around because she wants to -play-. I've a 14 week old kitten and two three year old cats. The kitten goes -crazy- in the morning and evenings. So I play with him. This also helps you bond. When you play, try getting down on the floor so you're right level with the kitten. This helps you be less intimidating. Play every day with her a while if you can. It's normal for many kittens to be spastic and zoom around...and even jump and climb on people... it means they want attention and need to burn energy.

For the scratching, I think there is some deterrent spray you can get that makes cats go 'ew' . Try looking for some of that at the local petstore, or online it should help.

The biggest part is just try to remember she is who she is. She might never be a lap cat, she may always be very active and need play every day, even when she's an adult. However, the more you interact with her minus the bad feelings and scolding and guilt, the more she'll pick up on 'good' vibes. It may take some time. If her semi-agression to being picked up continues, take her to the vet and have her checked, and maybe they can give you advice on how to stop the scratching people if it continues.

Thanks!
I guess you're right about the bonding and playing... I hardly play with her, as she has Singa and usually plays either with her or herself and some toy... when Singa was growing up, we only had each other... no other cat and no BF either So we played a lot in our time together...

I'll give it a shot... keep your fingers crossed for me, ok?! Let's hope it works

I've done most of my bonding with my cat through play (she's that sort of cat) and it's really worked. Now she's quite cuddly and sweet (after our daily play sessions).

Good luck with the kitten

I completely remember your kitties and when you first got Soleil! So sorry to hear that the bonding hasn't clicked yet.........Playing is a big part as well as feeding, talking. It kind of sounds like a little circle of jealousy going on....Maybe Singa was jealous of Soleil, then you reached out to Singa and Soleil started to feel favoritism or jealous, so she went to the other person you are close,tried to make you jealous. It worked, it got to you! Maybe you all need to play together

Originally Posted by cheylink

I completely remember your kitties and when you first got Soleil! So sorry to hear that the bonding hasn't clicked yet.........Playing is a big part as well as feeding, talking. It kind of sounds like a little circle of jealousy going on....Maybe Singa was jealous of Soleil, then you reached out to Singa and Soleil started to feel favoritism or jealous, so she went to the other person you are close,tried to make you jealous. It worked, it got to you! Maybe you all need to play together

Click to expand...

Haha! well I think you' re right about that! One reason why I tried not to play too much with Soleil ist because I didn't want Singa to feel sad. So I concentrated more on Singa than on Soleil. My BF has no big relation to Singa as she was already older when he came into the picture - and I think Singa was not too fond of him taking over her spot in bed as well

I started playing with Soleil yesterday and whoops - there was Singa suddenly - all interested in what we are doing... So I ended up with two string toys in each hand entertaining both my monsters.

They loved it - tho I had a hard time keeping Soleil from playing with Singa's toy too