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I just need to VENT!!!!!!

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Ok So I guess I'm not posting on here for advice or anything.... just a VENT!!

First of all, I live in a small 1 bedroom loft condo with my boyfriend, me and PHX. There's not enough room for anybody else right???!!!!??? Well, we're letting our friend Jeremy stay with us, since he just moved to AZ from IA and needs somewhere to stay until he gets on his feet. Ok, that's no problem. But he's now got a 'friend' that has decided to stay over every night with him. Even though she has her own place..... I can't say anything because I'm friends with her, and we work together!!! But, it just kind of aggrivates me I guess because - me and my boyfriend pay for the bills, groceries, etc. for 4 people + PHX! I can't afford it anymore!I know I could ask her to pitch in....but I just can't. LOL. Not only this but they are 'friends w\\benefits..' so ummmm this is a little weird but I can 'HEAR' them... and it's weird... and keeps me awake and I can't sleep through it.... So anyways I just wanted to VENT!!!!!!


PS Thanks for taking time out of your life to listen to me *!@$#
post #2 of 21
I totally understand!! You should say something to your roommate when she is not around. Maybe he could suggest staying at her place...
post #3 of 21
Awww that sucks

I'm sending you vibes that the new roomie moves out SOON and takes his new friend with him.
post #4 of 21
Thread Starter 
Samantha-


I actually told my boyfriend to say something But I don't think he will.... So we'll see...

LOL. I think I do much better living with just cats.... at least they ask before inviting new friends over hahaha LOL
post #5 of 21
As hard as it may be to do, I think you're gonna have to put your foot down! It's very rude of them to be putting you in the position of footing the bills while they're running them up without contributing! It's also really really rude of them to be "getting friendly" within earshot of you and not even in privacy???? Why can't they stay at her place? That's so weird!
post #6 of 21
What everyone else said. Its nice you let one friend stay, but if he is inviting a mate over without pitching in, you need to talk to one or both. There is no way you should be paying for everything and everyone if they are adults and can give a little money back!
post #7 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellyyfaber View Post
As hard as it may be to do, I think you're gonna have to put your foot down! It's very rude of them to be putting you in the position of footing the bills while they're running them up without contributing! It's also really really rude of them to be "getting friendly" within earshot of you and not even in privacy???? Why can't they stay at her place? That's so weird!
I agree!!!! Who in their right mind would be doing that in someone elses house?
post #8 of 21
Maybe you could make some "noise" of your own at night, just so they get the idea of how thin the walls are If you're consistantly doing it every night (making the sound effects, I mean), you might drive them to her place.

Otherwise, I say talk to the guy yourself if bf won't. Explain you can't afford to house/feed 2 extra people and you're having trouble sleeping because of the noise they're making. Suggest that they spend some time over at her place.
post #9 of 21
Well, if you are in a one bedroom condo, and he is not in that bedroom, and when his friend comes over and they start making noise.... just pass through to get something out of the kitchen!! Make sure you turn on all the lights on your way through!!! Maybe that will work!!

I had a roommate that was a friend of my husbands. He was separated from his wife, and needed a place to stay. We thought it was temporary... like a few weeks.. It was fine for a while... but 14 months later, I was ready for him to leave!! My husband and I got married while he was living here. Made our newlywed-ness a little awkward!!
post #10 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leli View Post
Maybe you could make some "noise" of your own at night, just so they get the idea of how thin the walls are If you're consistantly doing it every night (making the sound effects, I mean), you might drive them to her place.
Oh my! I'd hate to live with you
post #11 of 21
I would let my friends stay here in a heartbeat, but if I can hear them doing the deed, I would MOST DEFINATELY say something to them.

It's your place, you don't have to put up with that. I would get him alone and ask him to at least stay at her place if they are going to be doing that because you don't appreciate it happening in your place.
post #12 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny1124 View Post
I would let my friends stay here in a heartbeat, but if I can hear them doing the deed, I would MOST DEFINATELY say something to them.

It's your place, you don't have to put up with that. I would get him alone and ask him to at least stay at her place if they are going to be doing that because you don't appreciate it happening in your place.
And its one thing for you to let him stay with you..but for her to be staying there too and NOT pitching in for groceries?!?! UNacceptable.
post #13 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragoriana View Post
Oh my! I'd hate to live with you
No worries, my walls are cement I just figured that they might not realize quite how audible they are.
post #14 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leli View Post
No worries, my walls are cement I just figured that they might not realize quite how audible they are.

Still too much information
post #15 of 21
I think polite directness is the best way to handle a thing like this. Maybe you can approach it with a little bit of a laugh, though, to ease into the subject... something like, "Well, Jeremy, it's wonderful that you and [insert coworker's name here] have become so close -- because the pressure of having four people in this tiny apartment is about to split us up!" Ha ha ha, but then, "Seriously, though... doesn't the lack of privacy bother you guys also? Maybe you two would be happier at your place, [insert coworker's name here]."

If they have any grace at all, that should be enough to get them moving. But if "polite directness" doesn't work, the next step is to lie like a rug. Mark a date on the calendar when your aunt and uncle from Baltimore are coming to stay for ten days, and ask Jeremy if he can move in with his girlfriend this weekend, because you need some time to clean up and regroup before your next houseguests arrive.

The aunt and uncle never show up, of course -- and if that becomes known, fine. Plans change!
post #16 of 21
How rude! Is there some way you can hint that the nocturnal activities keep you awake?

Maybe ask then what they will be making you for dinner the next night?
post #17 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by mybabyphx View Post
Not only this but they are 'friends w\\benefits..' so ummmm this is a little weird but I can 'HEAR' them... and it's weird... and keeps me awake and I can't sleep through it.... So anyways I just wanted to VENT!!!!!!
I like the idea of walking into the kitchen to get stuff each time they start their nocturnal activities. Or you can try something I did when I lived in the apartment over my landlady. She was NOT quiet about her activities. I heard each and every moan and grunt. So one night, I turned the volume on my stereo up as LOUD as it would go, and turned it on. I never heard from her again.
post #18 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leli View Post
Maybe you could make some "noise" of your own at night, just so they get the idea of how thin the walls are If you're consistantly doing it every night (making the sound effects, I mean), you might drive them to her place.

Otherwise, I say talk to the guy yourself if bf won't. Explain you can't afford to house/feed 2 extra people and you're having trouble sleeping because of the noise they're making. Suggest that they spend some time over at her place.
LOL I actually did make that extra 'noise' and then they started up as well.... NOW THATS WEIRD!!!!! I don't think they got the point.

He just got a job yesturday and todays his first day working- so I'm sure he will pitch in. But her??? UGH!
post #19 of 21
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweets View Post
I like the idea of walking into the kitchen to get stuff each time they start their nocturnal activities. Or you can try something I did when I lived in the apartment over my landlady. She was NOT quiet about her activities. I heard each and every moan and grunt. So one night, I turned the volume on my stereo up as LOUD as it would go, and turned it on. I never heard from her again.

My boyfriend actually tried this..... as soon as we heard them starting up.... he walked downstairs to go to the bathroom. They just kind of laid there under the blankets I guess in the living room until my boyfriend came back to the bedroom upstairs. Then they started back up again

I actually said something to them yesturday I was like OHHHHH I'm sooo tired. I kept saying this every once in awhile And finally they were like- why you got plently of sleep! I was like No i woke up at 12:00, 2:00, and 3:30 and my alarm went off at 5 to get up for work! I think they realized what was going on at 12, 2, and 3:30... but they just kind of laughed and was like "oh sorry" So we'll see what happens ???
post #20 of 21
Wow, they must be young to be at it that often

Good luck, hopefully that was the hint you needed
post #21 of 21
Thread Starter 
We are all 21-22 yrs old.... LOL! He just got a job, so I think that's going to solve it... she won't be around as much now Now all I have to worry about is weekends

Thanks for letting me vent TCS--- I really needed it! I think the problem has solved itself though!
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