Monica, I'm so sorry to hear this - but at the same time I have to admit I feel kind of relieved. There were so many upset posts about your relationship, and in each one things seemed to get worse.
When you feared for yourself physically, my heart just about broke. That's no life for you or your kids (I know you have a son, but I'm not sure if you have other children).
I'm so sorry you two couldn't work things out. But if he's unwilling to encourage your independence, if he wants to control you, I KNOW that possession feels like love sometimes - but it makes life so unhappy most of the time.
The most important thing is that you take care of yourself, your son (and other children if you have them!), and your furr babies if you can.
We'll miss you loads, but you take care of yourself. Like the others have said, usually the hardest part is making the decision. In my life, the hardest part about deciding to leave my first hubby was admitting to myself how wrong I'd been about everything. About my feelings, about him, about our relationship. Once I came to grips with that, put aside the shame and moved on, my life improved 1000%. Bear in mind I left him twice before I left him for good. So many of us know just how difficult this is!
Sometimes things just aren't working out, and effort on each person's part reunites a happy couple. Other times the relationship just wasn't meant to be. Only you can decide that. Just remember that life is too short and too precious to continue in an abusive relationship - whether that abuse is emotional or physical or both. And remember that you deserve to be happy, and that is the best role model any child could have.
Sending you HUGE positive vibes that everything works out for you!
.... and more (((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))!!!!!!!!