I'm not the marrying kind?!

white cat lover

white cat lover

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Originally Posted by theimp98

worry about school first hehe guys can wait

and see i told you need to move to some place with more people.
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I love my boonies, though!
I need a guy to move here.....this is where my family is & they are everything. I never got to know my grandpa, I am taking every opportunity to know the rest of my family as much as possible!


I still maintain that "boys have cooties".
 
tnr1

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Originally Posted by white cat lover

That's where I've run into trouble. Between the shelter/volunteering, my retail job, & school.....I spend all my extra time volunteering at the shelter & have no time to date. I devote too much time there & not enough to actually trying to find a date. The shelter mentioned something about having a paid position I can fill, I'd love it, but do I dare spend more time there?

Where will I pick up a guy here in the boonies? The bar? I'm still only 20. And what kind of "pick-up" place is a bar?
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Wow...I remember 20. If you don't mind advice from someone who is fast approaching twice your age....you have PLENTY of time to meet the right guy, so do what you love to do and concentrate on what makes you happy.

Katie
 
catsarebetter

catsarebetter

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Originally Posted by theimp98

lies, they just jump from the females to us
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Nope, we wear perfume that has a base similar to frontline.. no cooties from us. We're pampered. And I've got a diamond collar with my name on it to match.
 
tnr1

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Originally Posted by CatsAreBetter

Nope, we wear perfume that has a base similar to frontline.. no cooties from us. We're pampered. And I've got a diamond collar with my name on it to match.
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Wow....I have no diamond collar....or perfume....but does cat pee work?? Never fails that when I volunteer we always have one cat that couldn't quite hold it the entire way to the event.

Man..this thread has taken an entirely unexpected direction....

Katie
 
bonnie1965

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Originally Posted by CatsAreBetter

Nope, we wear perfume that has a base similar to frontline.. no cooties from us. We're pampered. And I've got a diamond collar with my name on it to match.
Click to expand...
 
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mark kumpf

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This was on the CNN website today. Reposted from Oprah (who I do NOT watch btw) and now posted here for your consideration, reflection and review. Anyone want to answer a few (darn this place doesn't allow anonymous replies!)?

(Oprah.com) -- By Susan Piver

You may think that you and your fiancÃ[emoji]169[/emoji] have talked about everything...but have you discussed the issues that will make your marriage work? Author Susan Piver reveals the questions you and your partner should answer before you say "I do."

Question 1: What percentage of our income are we prepared to spend to purchase and maintain our home on a monthly or annual basis?

Question 2: Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization?

Question 3: How much money do we earn together? Now? In one year? In five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?

Question 4: What is our ultimate financial goal regarding annual income, and when do we anticipate achieving it? By what means and through what efforts?

Question 5: What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend?

Question 6: How much time will each of us spend at work, and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Will we prefer to work into the evening?

Question 7: If one of us doesn't want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?

Question 8: How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other's level of ambition?

Question 9: Am I comfortable giving and receiving love sexually? In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?

Question 10: Are we satisfied with the frequency of our lovemaking? How do we cope when our desire levels are unmatched? A little? A lot? For a night? A week? A month? A year? More?

Question 11: Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterward?

Question 12: Is each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (e.g., smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?

Question 13: What place does the other's family play in our family life? How often do we visit or socialize together? If we have out-of-town relatives, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods? How often?

Question 14: If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have with their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?

Question 15: Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?

Question 16: How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? Will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?

Question 17: Are we satisfied with the quality and quantity of friends we currently have? Would we like to be more involved socially? Are we overwhelmed socially and need to cut back on such commitments?

Question 18: What are my partner's needs for cultivating or maintaining friendships outside our relationship? Is it easy for me to support those needs, or do they bother me in any way?

Question 19: Do we share a religion? Do we belong to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple? More than one? If not, would our relationship benefit from such an affiliation?

Question 20: Does one of us have an individual spiritual practice? Is the practice and the time devoted to it acceptable to the other? Does each partner understand and respect the other's choices?
 
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mark kumpf

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Originally Posted by white cat lover

That's where I've run into trouble. Between the shelter/volunteering, my retail job, & school.....I spend all my extra time volunteering at the shelter & have no time to date. I devote too much time there & not enough to actually trying to find a date. The shelter mentioned something about having a paid position I can fill, I'd love it, but do I dare spend more time there?

Where will I pick up a guy here in the boonies? The bar? I'm still only 20. And what kind of "pick-up" place is a bar?
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OK - here are some ideas. First, mark the bar OFF the list. Its really a bad thing. Beer googles do not work in the morning and there is nothing worse than waking up and considering gnawing your arm off to escape from the strange species that may have looked like Sir Galahad last night but was actually a tinfoil wrapped troll this morning!

Set some standards. Then stick to them.

In the boonies hmm? Consider starting your own "single support group". Post a notice at the school library or similar haunt that invites single, interesting people to hang out. Choose a restaurant (food is the PRIMARY thing in a restaurant...) and set a date and time for interested people to show up. Then organize your own version of speed dating.

Look for plays, concerts or other events that are happening and consider organizing a mini-tailgate gathering.

Pick something you like to do. Then see if there are others that do it. Any sports? If not - organize a dodgeball game!!!

Become a regular somewhere. If you have homework to do, do it at a coffee shop or something. Get to know the staff.

The shelter is not a bad place to meet people. Are the volunteers organized? if not, get involved. Do some recruiting. If they like some of the same things that you do, they may not be all bad.

20 is a good age to find time to meet people. Heck, budget a few hours 1 day a week to the "make me happy with someone else" club meeting.

And sometimes, don't try to hard. Love happens when you least expect it. Sort of like the Spanish Inquisition....
 
tnr1

tnr1

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Originally Posted by Mark Kumpf

This was on the CNN website today. Reposted from Oprah (who I do NOT watch btw) and now posted here for your consideration, reflection and review. Anyone want to answer a few (darn this place doesn't allow anonymous replies!)?

(Oprah.com) -- By Susan Piver

You may think that you and your fiancé have talked about everything...but have you discussed the issues that will make your marriage work? Author Susan Piver reveals the questions you and your partner should answer before you say "I do."

Question 1: What percentage of our income are we prepared to spend to purchase and maintain our home on a monthly or annual basis?

Question 2: Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization?

Question 3: How much money do we earn together? Now? In one year? In five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?

Question 4: What is our ultimate financial goal regarding annual income, and when do we anticipate achieving it? By what means and through what efforts?

Question 5: What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend?

Question 6: How much time will each of us spend at work, and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Will we prefer to work into the evening?

Question 7: If one of us doesn't want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?

Question 8: How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other's level of ambition?

Question 9: Am I comfortable giving and receiving love sexually? In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?

Question 10: Are we satisfied with the frequency of our lovemaking? How do we cope when our desire levels are unmatched? A little? A lot? For a night? A week? A month? A year? More?

Question 11: Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterward?

Question 12: Is each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (e.g., smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?

Question 13: What place does the other's family play in our family life? How often do we visit or socialize together? If we have out-of-town relatives, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods? How often?

Question 14: If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have with their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?

Question 15: Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?

Question 16: How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? Will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?

Question 17: Are we satisfied with the quality and quantity of friends we currently have? Would we like to be more involved socially? Are we overwhelmed socially and need to cut back on such commitments?

Question 18: What are my partner's needs for cultivating or maintaining friendships outside our relationship? Is it easy for me to support those needs, or do they bother me in any way?

Question 19: Do we share a religion? Do we belong to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple? More than one? If not, would our relationship benefit from such an affiliation?

Question 20: Does one of us have an individual spiritual practice? Is the practice and the time devoted to it acceptable to the other? Does each partner understand and respect the other's choices?
Click to expand...
Mark...doesn't this actually require that you have a significant other before you answer? Or are you merely seeing what our viewpoints on the questions are?

Easy one for me:

Question 15: Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?

-Yes...Don't exactly know how many, depends on how many are brought into the relationship but definately 2 from me.
Oh....this wasn't about fur children. Since I have no biological clock, I would say "no" children from me, but I'd be foolish to not consider step children because there are so many single guys these days that do have children.

In all honesty, I like questions that make a couple think not only about themselves as individuals, but how they fit into each other's life. Relationships are a balancing act and it's oftentimes the things that you don't consider before marriage that end up being the things that destroy it.

BTW...I don't buy it for a moment that you don't watch Oprah...come on now Mark..fess up.

Katie
 
bonnie1965

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Originally Posted by Mark Kumpf

OK - here are some ideas. First, mark the bar OFF the list. Its really a bad thing. Beer googles do not work in the morning and there is nothing worse than waking up and considering gnawing your arm off to escape from the strange species that may have looked like Sir Galahad last night but was actually a tinfoil wrapped troll this morning!
Click to expand...
OMG!
This is too true!!
 
theimp98

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Originally Posted by CatsAreBetter

Nope, we wear perfume that has a base similar to frontline.. no cooties from us. We're pampered. And I've got a diamond collar with my name on it to match.
Click to expand...
lol now perfume will keep me away. I cant stand people who use to much perfume or hide behind alot of makeup..

and mark, sorrry man, i only made it to question 5 then i think my eyes got that deer in the headlight look hehe.

But will agree with advice to white cat lover, she can use those, After she gets out of college lol school first.
 
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mark kumpf

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Originally Posted by TNR1

Mark...doesn't this actually require that you have a significant other before you answer? Or are you merely seeing what our viewpoints on the questions are?
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I just posted the questions. I do not take any stance on whether you need to have a S.O. before you answer. I threw it out as a "answer if you want" type of thing.


Originally Posted by TNR1

In all honesty, I like questions that make a couple think not only about themselves as individuals, but how they fit into each other's life. Relationships are a balancing act and it's oftentimes the things that you don't consider before marriage that end up being the things that destroy it.
Click to expand...
Personally, it sure seems like a little over analyzing to me. Even though I posted them, I certainly didn't write them and to be frank - Oprah has never been my hero. George Carlin maybe...


Originally Posted by TNR1

BTW...I don't buy it for a moment that you don't watch Oprah...come on now Mark..fess up.

Katie
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I do NOT watch Oprah. Worst I've done is see the commerical when I lived in Va. I don't watch local TV unless its myself on the news at 11:00pm. Oprah is not on at 11:00pm. No confession needed. I don't watch Springer either (is it still on?) I did watch Donahue and Maury before he went Springer. I am not interested in whether or not some trailer trash (Note: I do NOT believe that living in a trailer means you are trailer trash) cousin has been sleeping with his aunt's mother's brothers younger cousin from the step sister's first marriage to Earl.
 
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mark kumpf

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Originally Posted by theimp98

lol now perfume will keep me away. I cant stand people who use to much perfume or hide behind alot of makeup..

and mark, sorrry man, i only made it to question 5 then i think my eyes got that deer in the headlight look hehe.

But will agree with advice to white cat lover, she can use those, After she gets out of college lol school first.
Click to expand...
I should let you meet my friend, Farley Flattened. He is a roadkill identification expert extraordinairre. Very familiar with the whole "deer in the headlights" then in the front bumper/grill.

Perfume . . . Ok as long as its not applied with a garden sprayer. Ladies, as a favor - please stick with one or two light squirts in the air and then "run through" it. Go to nuzzle an neck and get C2N02X or some other strange chemical concoction on your tongue and see how much farther the foreplay train runs along those tracks. Hey baby.. (he says in a sexy voice - really his throat is constricting and his tongue is swelling) Got any good benadryl???

No need to wait until you get out of school. Just keep your eyes open for the right person.
 
white cat lover

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I am a lady & I hate perfume!
I use a fruit scented body spray. Perfume doused on drives me insane!
 
theimp98

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Originally Posted by white cat lover

I am a lady & I hate perfume!
I use a fruit scented body spray. Perfume doused on drives me insane!
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lol what mark said is very true, i ran running from a few dates in my time, cause of perfume smell, Heck one overseas flight, i had to be helped off the plane due, my eye swelling shut, and could not breathe cause of some lady who soaked her self in perfume.

lol and i dont know about those scented body spray, stuff. i dont think i have evern been around those before..,
 
tnr1

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Originally Posted by Mark Kumpf

I do NOT watch Oprah. Worst I've done is see the commerical when I lived in Va. I don't watch local TV unless its myself on the news at 11:00pm. Oprah is not on at 11:00pm. No confession needed. I don't watch Springer either (is it still on?) I did watch Donahue and Maury before he went Springer. I am not interested in whether or not some trailer trash (Note: I do NOT believe that living in a trailer means you are trailer trash) cousin has been sleeping with his aunt's mother's brothers younger cousin from the step sister's first marriage to Earl.
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Mark...you know I was only teasing....you never did strike me as a watch daytime tv guy in the first place. I mean, when exactly would you have the time between all those conferences you attend and your job.

Once upon a time....when I actually "thought" I was going to marry someone...we attended a Building Better Relationships seminar. It was built around the same type of questions that were posed in the article you reprinted (I admit I only glanced them over) along with conducting myers briggs evaluations. It was very helpful...if only to prove what my then boyfriend knew but I refused to admit...we weren't compatible. It was probably the roughest time in my life because I was so committed to making it work. But I digress...

Katie
 
tnr1

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Originally Posted by theimp98

lol what mark said is very true, i ran running from a few dates in my time, cause of perfume smell, Heck one overseas flight, i had to be helped off the plane due, my eye swelling shut, and could not breathe cause of some lady who soaked her self in perfume.

lol and i dont know about those scented body spray, stuff. i dont think i have evern been around those before..,
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Ok...in defense....there are definately some guys who I swear bath in cologne. Now...a little whiff of polo or whatever brand of cologne a guy decides to use at a close distance is fine...but when you can smell it in the stairwell and the guy is no where to be seen or when it wafts in the elevator...then it's really overdone.

Katie
 
theimp98

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Originally Posted by TNR1

Ok...in defense
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lol no defense needed, there is guy here, that everymoring i know when Tom gets to work , EVen if i have the door closed, i can smell his after shave as he walks past.
 
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