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May be getting our neighbor's cat--sad story

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
Some of you may notice that I mention a stray that we "borrowed" from a neglectful neighbor 2 years ago. Well, today, when I came home from work, and drove past her house, I saw the police there. She apparently hanged herself perhaps more than a week ago (she lived alone, and was bi-polar). It's so sad; she had many problems, and apparently was not well-liked by our neighbors, and she did abandon the cat--but she had mental problems. I felt a bit sorry for her, and now I feel so sad. I keep thinking about what Hell she must've been going through recently to do such a thing. She has kids, but her ex has custody of them; everyone said they were scared of her; but, still, she was their Mom. I feel so bad for them, too. It's really upsetting me for some reason, even though I've never met her. I now feel bad for never waving to her (not that she ever waved to anyone) the few times I've driven past her. I only did this because everyone said she could be violent; and I was afraid that she's find out about the 1st cat, and come over some day and start trouble. Also, I got the feeling from everyone (they all lived here before me, and therefore, knew her better) that I should ignore her. Maybe things would've been a bit less grim for her if we had tried to be nice?

She had gotten another cat some time ago. It's been wandering around, and our next-door neighbor is feeding him. We plan to trap him, and try to adopt him out. Wish me luck!

MargeCat
post #2 of 15
Oh no that is horrible No matter what people say about them, and how true it may be - it's always sad when they feel that is their only option. It's not a cry for help, it's wanting to end her life.

It's a shame that she had nobody who could get her the help she needed. And I absolutely cannot imagine what it must be like for her kids - to be scared of her, then to have this happen

Good on you though for helping out her first cat, and offering to find the current kitty a home, it's all you can do
post #3 of 15
Oh, that's so sad. I feel like you did the right thing, if she was diagnosised with a condition, and was known to be violent. In that situation, and with someone you don't know, about all you can do is pray for them.
post #4 of 15
Oh how terribly sad I hope you are able to trap the kitty, good luck
post #5 of 15
I wish you luck in trapping the cat

Such a sad story, I can only hope she went off to a happier place
post #6 of 15
I'm sorry about your neighbour A girl I worked with had depression and had been in the psych hospital a few times. The last time she was there she convinced them to give her a day pass (not unusual), but this time they didn't have anyone to send with her so they let her go alone. She jumped from the 20th floor balcony of her apartment building a few years ago. The building is directly across the river from me and I saw the ambulance and rescue vehicles there, but didn't know what happened until the next day.

As a teenager and young adult in my very early 20's, I attempted suicide more than a few times. I still get those thoughts but I'm strong enough to resist them. While my life may not be the best right now, it's still mine and I'm not done living it yet. I just put one foot in front of the other and try to keep in mind that there are other people in this world that are far worse off than I am and that keeps me grounded.

I hope you are able to catch the kitty and give him the home that he so deserves. Please keep us informed
post #7 of 15
Wow. That is a sad story. I hope you can take care of that kitty. I hope the family of your neighbor is doing well.
post #8 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by MargeCat View Post
Maybe things would've been a bit less grim for her if we had tried to be nice?
Oh, please don't feel that way... someone with untreated bipolar disorder is completely at the mercy of her brain chemistry, and there's nothing you could have done. Most likely, you did the kindest thing by not generating any kind of stimulus at all for her to react to.

It's outrageous that we don't have a better system in this country for treating the mentally ill. If we need more incentive to establish a better mental healthcare system, we need look no farther than that boy, Cho, at Virginia Tech. We completely failed to treat his illness and keep those guns out of his hands. If any one of the authorities he came into contact with had stepped in and gotten him the help he needed, all those people would be alive today. And if your neighbor had been treated and followed up on as she should have been, she probably could have lived a relatively normal life on medication.

But if we Americans don't think human beings have a moral and ethical right to healthcare to save their lives, then I'm sure we don't give a hoot about the state of their minds.
post #9 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
Oh, please don't feel that way... someone with untreated bipolar disorder is completely at the mercy of her brain chemistry, and there's nothing you could have done. Most likely, you did the kindest thing by not generating any kind of stimulus at all for her to react to.

It's outrageous that we don't have a better system in this country for treating the mentally ill. If we need more incentive to establish a better mental healthcare system, we need look no farther than that boy, Cho, at Virginia Tech. We completely failed to treat his illness and keep those guns out of his hands. If any one of the authorities he came into contact with had stepped in and gotten him the help he needed, all those people would be alive today. And if your neighbor had been treated and followed up on as she should have been, she probably could have lived a relatively normal life on medication.

But if we Americans don't think human beings have a moral and ethical right to healthcare to save their lives, then I'm sure we don't give a hoot about the state of their minds.


You are doing something for her that no one else is; taking care of her cat. It sounds like she liked cats even if she couldn't take care of them. This is a wonderful gift to give to her.
post #10 of 15
The poor woman. I've had people at work say things about others where it seems like their trying to put me off from speaking to them, but i always say i can judge for myself, and usually their nothing like they say they are.

I hope you can trap her cat, and i'm sure she'll be eternally grateful to you
post #11 of 15
That is a very sad situation.

I hope you are able to get the cat and find it a good home.
post #12 of 15
Thread Starter 
We're going to try to trap Thomas this weekend. No one has seen him since that day she (the neighbor) was found dead; our other neighbor (who has been feeding him) said she saw him yesterday!

The woman's family have been clearing out her house; we thought we even had a new home for the cat, as one of her relatives expressed interest in taking him, but we just found out that her husband doesn't want a cat.

Wish us luck with #10!

MargeCat
post #13 of 15
Im diagnosed with severe depression. Its simular to bi polar but bipolar people get huge highs as well. It misconcieved though. They dont happen rapidly. People with bipolar can go for years in depression than go for years in highs. Its almost always the depression that causes suicide. Ive came close a few times while still working on gettin on the right medication and the right help.

With people that dont suffer from either depression or bi polar, suicide attempts might be crys for help. But believe you me, us that suffer from either, the attempts aint crys for help. We are really tryin.
post #14 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by MargeCat View Post
Maybe things would've been a bit less grim for her if we had tried to be nice?


MargeCat


Coming from personal experience, it wouldnt of made a difference, without the right medicine and professional help, it most likely would of happened anyways. Us with those problems rarely notice people being nice, even if they are going out of thier way to be. People being mean or nice isnt what drives us to that point. Its not something I can explain, but trust that you being mean or nice had nothing to do with it.
post #15 of 15
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragoro View Post
Coming from personal experience, it wouldnt of made a difference, without the right medicine and professional help, it most likely would of happened anyways. Us with those problems rarely notice people being nice, even if they are going out of thier way to be. People being mean or nice isnt what drives us to that point. Its not something I can explain, but trust that you being mean or nice had nothing to do with it.

Hi Dragoro,

Thanks for your replies. I guess what I really meant was: she must have been so lonely. I don't think she had any friends, except for a boyfriend who appeared sporadically, then they broke up. I keep thinking about this, and the black hole of despair she must have felt when she made the decision to kill herself. Maybe I'm dwelling on this too much, but it does still make me feel sad. No one should have to die alone and uncared for.

I know this may sound a bit weird, but I planted 2 roses bushes last week in her honor, in my rose garden. (I haven't told anyone that's what they're for.) She loved gardening; I think it may have been the only solace she found in her sad life. It just seemed like the appropriate thing.

I hope all continues to go well with you.

Regards,

MargeCat
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