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Women's Dictionary

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
Women's Dictionary

1. Fine
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer.
It means that you should shut up. Incidentally, never use the word
"fine" to describe how she looks. It will lead to one of the arguments mentioned above.

2. Five minutes
These words actually mean half an hour. It is the equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so women feel that it's an even trade.

3. Nothing
The word "nothing" means something and you should be on your guard immediately on hearing it uttered. It is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" is signal for an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine."

4. Go Ahead (Raised eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with raised eyebrows, it actually means the opposite. The words "go ahead" are not permission to do something; on the contrary it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the
result will be the woman will get upset over "nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "fine."

5. Go Ahead (Normal eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with normal eyebrows, it should not be confused with the granting of permission either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." It is normally preceded by a
few seconds a raised eyebrow and the words "go ahead," followed by "nothing" and "fine." She will speak to you again in about "five minutes" when she cools off.

6. Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but it is an important form of communication between a man and woman. It is also very frequently misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
and arguing with you over "nothing"!

7. Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.

8. Oh
This word -- followed by any statement -- heralds big trouble. For example, "Oh, I spoke to him about what you were up to last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, just run -- do not walk. She will tell you that she is "fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.

9. That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done.
"That's okay" is often used in conjunction with the word "fine" and a raised eyebrow "Go ahead." Don't be fooled, once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

10. Please Do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle
this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's okay."

11. Thanks
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't
look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."

12. Thanks A Lot
"Thanks a lot" is dramatically different from "thanks." A woman will say "thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "loud sigh." This signifies that you have
hurt her in some way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing."
post #2 of 10
:laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2
post #3 of 10
Its just so true!! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: I ALWAYS use "nothing" :LOL: :LOL:
post #4 of 10
That is so true! I have to admit I use some of those phrases and hubby thinks Im not normal LOL
:laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2 :laughing2
post #5 of 10
They forgot one....

Whatever - Used in much the same context as "Fine." There is no comeback to "Whatever." It is the end of the argument. If you try to argue more with a woman who has said "Whatever" anything more you say with immediately be followed by another "Whatever." You cannot win, she is not listening, just give up.
post #6 of 10
Too true Heidi, too true!

\\/\\/ - whatever!
post #7 of 10
post #8 of 10
Pfft I have a few for fellas, so neh

Looks great means: Yeah yeah another dress, just buy it and lets go home. Footy is on in 15 minutes.

I love your mother, she great means: Oh damn I can't go the pub with my mates.

My back hurts means: No I don't want to repair the car, it's cold outside and I'm a wimp.

Can't think of any more because I'm a perfect fella *cough*.
post #9 of 10
Thread Starter 
My back hurts is in effect until the guys want to go bowling, hiking, play football, shoot pool, etc. Then it's a miracle and he has recovered.

I use "go ahead" (raised eyebrow) with my students. "What you want to throw that piece of paper at your friend. Go ahead. Then you can have a chat with the principal."
post #10 of 10
Well there's a reason for why the back stops hurting at certain times. When we are asked to do house work this triggers a nerve impulse that starts the back aching. When it's time for sports then the nerve doesn't work and the backs fine. Tis just nature, you're gonna have to put up with it

Uh oh I've noticed the car wants washing, excuse me while I get on the settee in severe pain.
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