TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Some things I have learned from the internet :)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Some things I have learned from the internet :)

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
I just wanna say thanks for the email warnings. They have saved my life more than once...

I must send my thanks to whomever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes, because I now use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I am still waiting to receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates is sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to email, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

My friend can no longer buy gasoline without taking me along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in the back seat when she's pumping gas. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I will never check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer answer the phone because someone will hack into my line for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I can't use anyone's toilet but my own because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

If you don't send this to at least 144,000 people in the next 60 minutes, you will have 10 years of bad luck and go straight to hell when you die. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

post #2 of 18
LMAO! Ain't that the truth!
post #3 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by adymarie View Post
LMAO! Ain't that the truth!
It is, isnt it??
post #4 of 18
I'm emailing this to my DH and my sister (and thereby, encouraging the cycle! LOL!)
post #5 of 18
Quote:
people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.
How did they know?
post #6 of 18
post #7 of 18
"people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse"

HA! I didn't have my hand on the mouse!

post #8 of 18


I'm sending this one to my mother...who forwards every single lame e-mail she ever receives to me.
post #9 of 18
LMAO..Im damned for life!!!! Ok I want someone to go out and try and use coke to clean their toilet cuz if that works Im going to stop using bleach..Sodas cheaper...LOL...And the spider thing NOT FUNNY!! I saw a movie when I was kid about snakes swallowing people outta the toilet. I still to this day will not poop at night!!!! And if I gotta pee its short sweet and Im hopping off the potty right away..Its funny the things that traumatize us as children!!!!
post #10 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by catloverin_ks View Post
A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

OMG! They're watching me! How could they have known?
post #11 of 18
I have learned somthing from the internet too.
Typeing in Muffins dosn't always get you to a bakeing site.
post #12 of 18
That's FUNNY!!!
That is my major pet peeve - people I know forwarding STOOOOPID chain emails and urban legends that have been making the rounds for years. Helloooo????
GAH!

I think I have "trained" most of my friends at this point, but I will pass this along as a gentle reminder.

Thanks for the laugh!
post #13 of 18
Haha I passed this on through myspace...So far its been quite a hit.
post #14 of 18
That pretty much turned my bad day upside down..
post #15 of 18
Thread Starter 
So glad I could make everyones day with a good laugh!! I just couldnt resist it!!
post #16 of 18
I love this one...I have sent it to 5 of my friends, and yes in less than 5 minutes.
post #17 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sibohan2005 View Post
I have learned somthing from the internet too.
Typeing in Muffins dosn't always get you to a bakeing site.

And, Heaven help, don't ever put in "cat licking", or "cat licking face" if you are trying to find a pic...
post #18 of 18
Thanks for the smiles
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Some things I have learned from the internet :)