I just wanna say thanks for the email warnings. They have saved my life more than once...
I must send my thanks to whomever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes, because I now use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I am still waiting to receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates is sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to email, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
My friend can no longer buy gasoline without taking me along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in the back seat when she's pumping gas. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.
I will never check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer answer the phone because someone will hack into my line for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I can't use anyone's toilet but my own because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
If you don't send this to at least 144,000 people in the next 60 minutes, you will have 10 years of bad luck and go straight to hell when you die. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
I must send my thanks to whomever sent me the one about rat poop in the glue on envelopes, because I now use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I am still waiting to receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates is sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to email, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends within five minutes. Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
My friend can no longer buy gasoline without taking me along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in the back seat when she's pumping gas. And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.
I will never check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer answer the phone because someone will hack into my line for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I can't use anyone's toilet but my own because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
If you don't send this to at least 144,000 people in the next 60 minutes, you will have 10 years of bad luck and go straight to hell when you die. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...
A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
