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Kids on a leash - Page 2

post #31 of 169
When I was a toddler I wore a leash - we called them "reins" - it was a sort of harness thing - sounds a bit like the backpack thing you mention. It was normal to do that then and that was back in the late 60's. More common these days over here are leashes that attach to the child's wrist while the parent holds the other end (or attaches it to a stroller). Makes sense to me as small children can easily run off or lag behind and get lost. Only a couple of weeks ago I came across a small child in a shopping mall crying because she was lost. At first she was just looking and calling for her mum then she started to cry and get very distressed when she couldn't see her. I took her to the customer service desk and her mum was quickly located, but a leash could have saved the child a lot of distress.
post #32 of 169
It was very difficult to click yes -- but I did, even before I read about the cute little monkey backpack, which makes it much less offensive. When I was eight and my brother was just two, our family was stationed at Fort Sill, Oklahoma. One Saturday afternoon, we had all been out for a picnic on the reservation, where we would go to see the buffalo. My father pulled the car into the drive, and we all started piling out... but he and Mom were deep in discussion, and they just headed for the front door, not noticing that my brother Noel was running straight for the street.

I looked around and saw him -- he was a fast little kid! -- and saw that there was a car coming from the right. Noel was still behind a parked car, but I could see that by the time the oncoming car arrived, he would be right in the middle of the street.

It was one of those moments when time telescopes and you can go through an amazingly complex thought process in a split second. I thought, No, can't call Mom and Papa, they're too far away to do anything; no, can't yell at Noel to come back, he would ignore me; no, can't run and snatch him back, because the time it would take me to reverse my direction might be too long, the car might be on top of us by then. So what I should do is --

I took off running like a deer, snatched Noel up, and kept running to the other side of the street... but I tripped and we both fell down, and I felt the car's tire brush against the bottom of my shoe as it passed.

Sheesh. Of course, all Noel knew was that I had knocked him down and skinned his knee... and all our parents knew was that both of us were across the street where we weren't supposed to go... so I wasn't popular around the house for awhile. But I still have a brother!

My point being that a leash would have prevented that. However... my best friend told me about a time when he and his older sister were traveling with their mom, and she put them on leashes while they were in the Atlanta airport. As soon as she hooked them up, he and his sister exchanged one of those silent sibling conspiracy looks and took off running around their mom in opposite directions, tying her up like a roped calf!
post #33 of 169
Originally Posted by Tari View Post
This conversation brings to mind something I heard on the radio last week. Someone said "I was a terrific parent...until I had kids." What they meant is that everyone thinks they'd never do this or that, but until you've got kids yourself, you have no idea.
This is so true. I have never been blessed (? ) with children of my own but I helped raised my brothers, sister and assorted cousins, nephews and nieces.

There are children who will stay with parents constantly and there are those who are prone to wandering. I have been told that I, as a toddler, would walk up to any man and call him Daddy. How easy it would have been for me to disappear, wouldn't have even put up a fuss.

I have young nephews who run all over stores, malls, anywhere and their mother allows it. Scares me to death. I make them stay with me, but cannot get their mother (SIL) to understand the dangers.

My mother has always been very anti-leash. She figured that if a parent could't control the child, they should not be in public. Very old school. Recently though, she made the comment that a woman should have her child on a leash because he was going to hurt himself. Believe the toddler was playing some chicken with an escalator. So, maybe mom is coming around.

Personally, I think we have to trust parents to know what is best for the child. If I see a child on a leash, I figure the parent knows what he/she is doing. None of my beeswax. There are so many other things we can do if we are truly interested in the welfare of children we don't know.
post #34 of 169
I may be the only one here with my feelings........but you asked for them, so I'll post them
I do NOT for one mintue feel that a child should be *leashed*.It is degrading to a child in MY OPNION!!!I have 4 kids ages now 16,13,9, and 6.When they were all smaller, I took them out and NEVER ever under any circumstance used a leash.To me, if you can't control your child/ren, then leave them at home with someone or you get someone else to do your shopping for you.
You learn to *control* and keep your kids safe and with in reach at all times................it takes practice and commitment.
I'm sorry if I have offended you or anyone who uses them.
When I see a child with one on, I cringe and want to put the parent on one.
post #35 of 169
I think the word leash is quite emotive as it makes it sound as though children are being treated like dogs, but I don't see it like that. It's just something that prevents a toddler from running off.

This is the kind of thing I wore as a child and they were very common back then


I don't see many of those kind now. This is the type that is popular over here these days

post #36 of 169
I have seen the cute little backpacks that are made into a leash like thing and still feel it is 100% wrong to put a child in one.
It is like *hogtying* a child.If you can't control your children, then leave them at home.
I am NOT saying that my kids have never knocked things down in the store..............because they have.But, I pick it up and go on about my business.ALL of my kids know the rule, when out in public--you had better stay at my side.Even my 16 year old has to stay with me.
(Leaving this post before it gets to heated)
post #37 of 169
I don't think it's about being unable to control the child, but it's impossible to keep an eye on them all the time. If you have more than one child - say a baby plus a toddler - it's easy to be distracted by the baby and it only takes a second for the toddler to wander off. Or you may be paying someone in a shop and not be paying attention to the toddler. I really don't think it's anything to do with not being able to control the children, but why leave them at home or keep them strapped into a stroller when they can have a bit more freedom and be kept safe. When I was a toddler it was the norm among responsible parents (and definitely not a substitute for discipline). I do notice nowadays that a lot of parents use strollers for children who are of an age when I would expect them to not need one. Maybe that, for some parents, is a modern substitute - strap them in the stroller so that they can't run off.
post #38 of 169
Originally Posted by GingersMom View Post
I was leashed to a revolving clothesline in my Nana's yard as a child to keep me from wandering away and I have no ill effects as a result.

You can't always hold your child in your arms or keep them strapped into a stroller, and when they want to wander, they want to WANDER.

Personally, I think that if you are willing to leash your child you are a GOOD parent who wants to prevent your child from being easily snatched or getting into danger - just as long as when you go home you don't put the kid into a cage with two bowls for food and water!
I agree with Wise Betsy
post #39 of 169
We had one for my little brother when he was younger- like 1-2 years old. He was CRAZY like, running everywhere, a hyper active little thing! It was awesome, because he would run anywhere, and it was impossible for us to get him to stay with us- shopping whatever, and he wouldn't want to be in a stroller.

To each their own, I say!
post #40 of 169
needed a 3rd choice - depends. depends on the situation, depends on the kid.
post #41 of 169
My girls are thirteen months apart. It was always and still is a pain in the butt to go anywhere with them together. I dont leash my children just because thats my choice. I dont want them to be leashed. Im lucky enough that I dont have to go anywhere with both of them too often. Normally when I go shopping or anywhere Dave or my mom has one and I have the other. And if I have to go anywhere with them together Dave is always with me or Im only going to Angies or Coastal right up the rd. No matter what the parent makes the decision and has to be the one to say its the right or wrong one.
post #42 of 169
Let me ask... how does the idea of a leash (and I agree that the word itself is part of what makes this so emotional) compare or contrast with the way very young schoolchildren are sometimes kept together on field trips? I've seen them linked by big diaper pins along a ribbon the teacher holds onto, and that doesn't offend me.

In fact, considering the horrible story here in Dallas awhile back, when a little boy was left alone in the van after a field trip and died in the heat, I think it's a great lifesaving policy, and probably ought to be required.

But if the purpose of the leash is simply to keep a child from making mischief, then I can't support it -- partly because you'd have to keep it on most kids until they turned about 30! But as a safety measure, and used in conjunction with close supervision and loving care by the parent... then it's not degrading at all, and could save the child's life.
post #43 of 169
Originally Posted by Sweet72947 View Post
My mom had me on a leash when I was little. It was velcro, it went around my wrist and it was rainbow colored. I'm a completely normal 25 year old now. I think...
My mom had the very same "hand holder" for me! We frequent Disney World, so it came in handy back then.

I don't think its "cruel" or "mean" or anything. I think that it's a reasonable solution to what could be a REAL problem. And I've been around enough toddlers to understand the wandering problem!
post #44 of 169
I was always against leashes on kids, I thought it was so wrong to leash a child like a dog.

Then I looked after my 3 year old nephew with my mum and went to the mall. He was great in the mall itself, but once we got into Target he took off

He was just giggling away thinking it was the best thing to have nanna and Aunty Sarah chasing him. He was too quick for us and we were freaking out and eventually found him and caught him when we managed to corner him.

At that point I realised why people put a leash on their kid, and all of sudden I was no longer against it because I understood! He did it a few times that day, not as bad as the first time, but he'd just get excited about something and just run towards it!
post #45 of 169
Some parents may need them, as was said, to each their own.
I'm picturing some poor parent with 4 little ones purposely getting tangled together though.

I wasn't leashed and never wandered in public as a child. However, I wish there had been leashes for parents

I can't remember how many times I would stop to look at/read something when I was little, both parents would be right there and knew what I was doing, only to look up and find they'd walked off without me! They would wander off and I'd have to hunt for them in the store, scary for a 3-4 year old. I would usually lecture them "Why did you just walk off like that? Do you know what could happen?"
Despite their best attempts they never did manage to lose me.
post #46 of 169
I was tied to a tree at family events with lots of room to run but not enough to run into the street. I see no harm in it, as long as you don't yank on them or use a prong collar...lol
post #47 of 169
We didn't use one on our daughter because it was unnecessary, but I didn't vote either way because it's a GREAT idea for some kids!

We shouldn't listen to the stupid words that come out of some people's mouths. It's far to easy to say rude and ignorant things, and those words should not be taken to heart.
post #48 of 169
I think it's ok for you to do whatever you need to do to keep your child safe and sound...
post #49 of 169
I think putting a child on a leash is dehuminizing. Leashes are for animals.

Teach your kids to stay near you, and make sure you hold their hand.
post #50 of 169
lol dont like them, but yea i can understand why, people do that.
it does not hurt the kid.

and it beats duct tape and leaving them at home(i hear cops dont like that )
err, i am kidding at about that part
post #51 of 169
My 3 yr old nephew has one, it's not used all the time. Mostly if we go to the mall in peak hours.

He's too big for a stroller and likes to walk, he's good at holding hands but can twist and wriggle his way free really fast and take off if he really wants to.
post #52 of 169
Originally Posted by adymarie View Post
We were at the mall on Saturday and this 20-something lady and her friend walked by and we heard he loudly say to her friend "it is so wrong to put a child on a leash". 1st - it isn't any of her business, and 2nd - if you want to say something say it to my face so that I can answer you.
That sounds like something I would have said when I was "twenty-something" too! I used to think it was "absolutely horrible" to, as I would have said at the time, "treat your kid like a pet!"

But you know what? With age, comes wisdom. And the older I got, and maybe the more tragedies I witnessed, I understood why it was done - to protect them! And also, to allow the parent to actually accomplish something!

Plus, the monkey setup you have sounds sooo cute!! A far cry from the lousy ones they made back in the day.

Yeah, you will probably get some negative feedback, but consider the source, and hopefully they will grow up, like I did.
post #53 of 169
We kids used to wear one back in the day. I think ours was old fasioned, or European (mom grew up in Holland). Our leash was leather, and the harness (yes, the HARNESS, lol) was leather as well, and it just looked like a perfect match to a dutch boy's fiddler outfit. I don't remember ever wearing it, or seeing my brother or sister wearing it (because, frankly, it was about 17+ years ago, lol), but I love looking at it. I'm not sure why, but I just do.

Neither of us was harmed (mentally or physically) from it, and mom grew a few less grey hairs thanks to it. I don't see it as a way to control the kid, but to make sure the kid is always within 3 feet from mom at all times. You want the kid to stay next to you when you're shopping, and the leash just prevents the kid from running off (sure beats having your hand wrapped in the kid's hand for several hours; now THAT would be overbearing for the poor kid). He's not being restrained, pulled, yanked around. The leash is basically just an insurance policy, preventing the bad stuff before they can happen. The kid can walk around, but not further than 3 (maybe 4 or more) feet from mom.

I've seen cute little leashes over the past few years, which look like colorful slinkies attached to the kid's wrist and the mom's wrist. They're brightly colored and coiled (made of a flexible plastic/rubber material), and they look less like a "leash," but the process is the same. It keeps the kid from running off.

I don't see them all that frequently (I saw the latest one a couple of months ago, and it was the first time in several years since I'd seen one), which is why, I think, so many people are against it. It just looks strange and foreign and barbaric. Once they experience it, they understand how useful and safe it is and they don't have any more problems with it.
post #54 of 169
Originally Posted by techiegirl View Post
Yeah, you will probably get some negative feedback, but consider the source, and hopefully they will grow up, like I did.
I'm 45 and more than a little bit wise. I don't agree with putting a child on a leash, and I totally agree with that 20 something person in the mall, and I would have said the same thing. Only I have the guts to say it to the person's face and not in passing.

Guaranteed, if I saw a child on a leash, I would be in the parent's face telling them that what they were doing to that child is considered child abuse in my opinion.
post #55 of 169
Lookie!! Eddie Bauer makes a monkey and dog safety harness, which I like better than calling it a "leash"!

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Guaranteed, if I saw a child on a leash, I would be in the parent's face telling them that what they were doing to that child is considered child abuse in my opinion.
I'm just curious why you see it as "abuse"? Do you think it psychologically harms the child?
post #56 of 169
I have not recollection of being leashed as a child, but there are pictures in the family collection of both me and my brother (8 years apart) with harness and leash, out for a walk with Dad. It doesn't seem to have done either of us any harm , and little people are just too fast and unpredictable to be left loose. All it takes is a split-second distraction, and the child is out of sight, and at risk of harm to himself, or darting around, unintentionally causing harm to others. I'm all for leashes for toddlers.
post #57 of 169
Originally Posted by techiegirl View Post

I'm just curious why you see it as "abuse"? Do you think it psychologically harms the child?
Whether it's psychologically harmful or not, it's still abuse. It's a physical restraint and to me it's no different than if you duct taped your kid into a chair and locked him/her in a closet so that they couldn't "run away".

I'm all for keeping kids safe and out of harms way. And that can be accomplished by holding the child's hand when you are out, and instilling in them the importance of staying close to you, or having them hold onto the stroller or your coat. There is no reason to resort to putting your child on a "dog" leash. If you have to resort to that, then you shouldn't be taking your kids out to the mall with you, or you shouldn't be having more children than you can possibly look after.

No matter where you are, your priority should be your kids, and if you can't shop and look out for your kids at the same time, then you shouldn't take them with you.
post #58 of 169
Originally Posted by techiegirl View Post
Lookie!! Eddie Bauer makes a monkey and dog safety harness, which I like better than calling it a "leash"!

dont they make any that hmm a little more midevil? those would be fun.
post #59 of 169
Wow, so many experts. Here is a link to Oregon's definitions of child abuse/neglect. http://www.oregon.gov/DHS/children/a..._neglect.shtml
There are children out there being terribly abused and neglected and used.

A harness, leash, restraint, protection is not abuse. Some people may not care for it but to infer (or is it imply?) that good parents are abusers is simply abusive in itself. This is not an IMO thread.

To believe that all parents have the option of leaving their children at home shows a certain sense of privilege. Most parents do not have that option.

No member here has the right to slam another's child rearing policies.

Thank you.
post #60 of 169
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
dont they make any that hmm a little more midevil? those would be fun.
Hands Bruce some chainmail and a welding thingamajig.
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