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I feel sad, blah

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Does anyone else feel like this?

I just feel sad, depressed because I feel like we can't get anywhere in life. What brought this to ahead is my sister just purchased her first home. My husband has been out of work since Feb and I'm the only one working to support us right now. And I just feel like we can't plan our lives... beyond living day to day. We live in costly CA and we just signed our lease for another year. I love our apt, but I want something that is ours. So hearing my unmarried sister go on & on about her new house, isn't what I need right now. I'm proud that she is doing on her own, but she's use to $800 rent, not a $1900 house payment. We pay almost that in rent.

What can I do to feel like we can plan? We have been married six years now and I just thought my life would be fuller (possibly a baby, house by now). I love my husband & kitties. But you know....

Just need to vent.
post #2 of 18
You need to sit down with your husband and make a plan for the future. You know basically goals you want to accomplish and set a basic time frame, and then work out a plan on how to get there. Don't despair, everyone goes through rough times, it'll get better soon.
post #3 of 18
Thread Starter 
Thanks.. just need to vent.
post #4 of 18
I know how you feel!

You could make an appointment with a financial planner through your bank (more than likely it's free but ask). S/he will help you make a clear plan, then you just have to follow the plan.

We are saving to buy a house in Victoria, BC. The median price of a single family home is more than $500,000 USD. The median income is about $35,000.

http://www.vreb.org/statistics_current.html

We are working to save the magical 20% as we hope & pray the market is leveling off. (If prices continue to soar we will be priced out of the market, despite the fact that we have the income, savings, and zero debt.)

I think it's always difficult; the situations are just different! Good luck!
post #5 of 18
Why is your husband out of work and why for so long? Is he out looking for work? If not, why?
post #6 of 18
Thread Starter 
He's working through a temp agency (2 different ones) & neither have work right now. But he just had an interview for an accounting assistant job last week hopefully, that will work out.
post #7 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
I know how you feel!

You could make an appointment with a financial planner through your bank (more than likely it's free but ask). S/he will help you make a clear plan, then you just have to follow the plan.

We are saving to buy a house in Victoria, BC. The median price of a single family home is more than $500,000 USD. The median income is about $35,000.

http://www.vreb.org/statistics_current.html

We are working to save the magical 20% as we hope & pray the market is leveling off. (If prices continue to soar we will be priced out of the market, despite the fact that we have the income, savings, and zero debt.)

I think it's always difficult; the situations are just different! Good luck!

Housing anywhere is just crazy! Way too high for the average person.
post #8 of 18
Sorry you are feeling down right now, I don't have any magical advice but hopefully you can take comfort in the knowledge that lots of us have been where you are. Things do get better, just keep doing what you are doing and don't give up hope. Sounds like hubby is trying to find something and he will.
post #9 of 18
Thread Starter 
Yep, we just keeping plugging along & hope it gets better soon.
post #10 of 18
*hugs*

I like the idea of going in to talk with a bank financial advisor. Also, if you are first time home buyers ask if that gives you any benefits. I know here in Montana if you are first time buyer that you can qualify for a $500 down payment and a lower interest rate -- perhaps they have something like that in your area.

I hope things get better soon!
post #11 of 18
Don't know what your familiy situation is, but don't hold it against your sis. Like Kurt Vonneugt said. "the race is long, and eventually only with yourself" (more or less). Just hang in there. make a plan on how to get the house if that is what you want.
What about changing state? & one of the things that suck right now is that employment is relatively low. And low paying sadly.
Just be nice to yourselves and fight on.
post #12 of 18
Thread Starter 
We just signed another year lease. I'm not holding it against my sister, but I guess it's just a little pity party of why not me. Plus my mom doesn't help with her nagging. Why don't we just move to No CA instead of So CA... it's too expense living there for you guys. You can get a cheaper house here. Hmm, maybe. We never have luck. Our luck is: Say we moved to No CA and maybe found a good job, by the time we're ready to buy houses would equal to So CA's prices & some already do.

Plus I love my job & I'm the only one working right now... we can't just pack up & move and with what $$? But I like people's idea of talking to advisor. We'll probably do that at least.

Thanks for listening...
post #13 of 18
Sorry your feeling so down. I think we all have those *blah* days.

I wish you best of luck....I do hope things turn around for you.
post #14 of 18
I know it's not so easy to find a job nowadays. I was out of work for a year when my whole dept. got laid off cuz the company was moving out of state. I was at retirement age when my unemployment ran out so now I am on Social Security and a Pension from the last job where I worked for 22 years. The economy is so bad, maybe things will pick up after the next Presidential election. I know it must make you feel bad that you don't have a home seeing as your sister was able to buy one now. If you have your health and are happy with your hubby, be thankful. Some people don't even have that so keep your chin up.
post #15 of 18
Hey, although it's another year's lease, think of it as another year to truly implement a plan and come up with something to work towards. Think of this next year as a crucial stage in taking some time out to figure out HOW you are going to achieve some goals.

And as difficult as it is, sometimes I believe in faking it until you make it...meaning, FORCE yourself into stepping back, convincing yourself that you do have reasons to be happy, dwell on those things, until you feel GENUINELY happy in that knowledge. I don't know if that makes any sense, but at least I know what I mean.

Just take a day or two to relax, and develop a personal mantra...all the while, doing things for YOURSELF, and focusing on the fact that things will IMPROVE, and you will get through this rough spot.

Repeat after me:

"I'm a great worker. We deserve great things...if we work hard, and keep going, we'll get a house!!!! We CAN do this!!!!!!!!! Things don't always happen WHEN I want them too, but things will happen when they're MEANT TO BE!!!"

Smile. It WILL get easier.
post #16 of 18
Your post made me think of something I used to do when I had a Big Decision to make: I'd get some large Post-It notes and a roll of that heavy brown wrapping paper and sit down at the kitchen table. I'd tear off enough paper to cover the table and tape it together at the seams, to make a nice big work surface.

Then I'd write down just one thought on each Post-It note -- like, "I enjoy doing graphics, not just writing," and "I want to live closer to my family," and "Working from home would be good for me." Then I would arrange and rearrange the notes on the brown wrapping paper, observing the relationships among the various issues.

Pretty soon, I would start to see if some of my desires were mutually exclusive, which goals supported each other, logical progressions from one step to the next... it would all begin to sort itself out. Eventually, I'd start making notes and drawing arrows and connections on the brown paper, linking up ideas into a plan of action.

It really worked very well for me... but I haven't done it in years, and I need to! Thanks for reminding me of it! Maybe it will help you too...
post #17 of 18
CarolPetunia, that's great advice.
post #18 of 18
Right now the job systuation is tough, they unemployemt has gone down, so not that many people are hirings. Those who do hire can pay cheap. Take this time to regroup. Put out a plan w/your family and then move ahead.
You don't say what you do, but what about additional ed & a change of career?
Good luck all the same. I am currently juggling three jobs, so I really sympathize.
Take care
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