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I Just Can't

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
I had a series of job interviews over the past few days (for the same position) and they all went really well. I was told that they hope to make a decision by Monday, and that it seemed like I may be a "really good fit".

The problem? I'm beyond petrified of leaving my current job. This new place seems really nice and friendly, and the job is something I'm very interested in doing, but I just cannot face my world being essentially turned upside down by having to adjust to a new place.

Basically, as sad as this sounds, my job is my entire life. I have very little social interaction outside of work, and have made a really good friend where I am now. He provides so much support and guidance to me that I've come to depend on the consistency of seeing him every single day during the work week.

And this is so pathetic because I should be in control of my life enough to function on my own, without needing someone to help me, but I just can't. Things are just falling apart and I don't know what to do.
post #2 of 7

You must have applied for this new job for a reason, right? Perhaps you want a little bit of newness and shake up and are now having second thoughts?

Maybe you should talk to your friend too.... especially if you get a lot of support from him. He might have some really good points to make, and might reassure you that you taking a different job might be better/good for you/not shake you up as much as you thought.

Good luck to you...
post #3 of 7
I pm'd you, but I do agree with Kaleetha. There was a reason you were looking for a new job. Try to see it through!
post #4 of 7
Hey, I hope it will go well for you and crossing my fingers for this Monday... by the way, I know I cannot do much for you but just a suggestion - have you ever though of working online from home?
post #5 of 7
It's good to have friends, and hopefully, you can continue the friendship with the person at work if you change jobs.

What if your friend changes jobs? You should move on, and you can talk to your friend about your new job. BTW, it's not that easy to make friends as an adult, and to have one very good friend is not sad at all.

Good luck!
post #6 of 7
I know just what you mean. I spent 18 years of my life in a job that I couldn't bear to leave, clinging to the status quo and terrified of anything new.

It was a huge mistake on my part. In retrospect, I dearly wish that I'd had the courage to do what you're about to do. If you hold on too tight to what you've got, you never know what else might be out there for you. New people, new challenges, the chance to discover whole new territories within yourself -- these are good things!

And this good friend... before you leave the old job, maybe you can make a plan for the first in a series of get-togethers. Lunch once a week, maybe. You don't have to lose touch.

It's inevitable that you'll be a little tense, starting out in a new place -- but don't let actual fear get hold of you. You'll be leaving some good things behind, but you'll find new good things where you're going. And best of all, you'll have a chance to leave behind any baggage you might have picked up in the old job. It's a fresh start, a clean slate! How could that be anything but good?

I'm talking to myself here, too, because I'll have to get a real job in the next few months myself, and I've been trying to psych myself up for it for a long time now. I even went through some therapy to try to ease my terror... and as my therapist said, "What are you afraid of? What's the worst that can happen? They aren't going to beat you with a two-by-four! At the very worst, it doesn't work out and they fire you. And then what will you do? Well, you'll go find another job. That's all. It's not the end of the world, and it's not a personal failure. It just means that wasn't the right place."

Good simple logic. It's helped me calm down quite a bit... I hope it helps you too!
post #7 of 7
I think Kaleetha is right.
And also you seem to think that getting this new job means to cut off all of your contacts/friends. Take their names, invite them. In todays busy world we have to make an effort to stay in touch. Get the names of your best friends, have them over or to a resteurant for dinner and keep in touch.
In case you ever want to go back it'll also be a bridge you didn't burn off.
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