Silver Lining?

I was in a store the other day, and they were playing Neil Diamond's "Brooklyn Roads." In the song, he sings about the warm fuzzies of his childhood, how he misses it, wish he could go back but he can't, etc.

Listening to the song, I suddenly realized that I have never felt like that, and never will. My childhood was brutal and violent, and my parents have always been far too self-absorbed to be able to love or care for their children.

I've never had that ache to go back, it was a nightmare, and I can't imagine missing my abusers when they are gone. You can't miss the love of someone if you've never had it. I told my husband my thoughts, but he said he can't see the good; he can only see the sadness in the situation.

Does anyone else know what I'm saying? Haven't I found a silver lining?

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

I was in a store the other day, and they were playing Neil Diamond's "Brooklyn Roads." In the song, he sings about the warm fuzzies of his childhood, how he misses it, wish he could go back but he can't, etc.

Listening to the song, I suddenly realized that I have never felt like that, and never will. My childhood was brutal and violent, and my parents have always been far too self-absorbed to be able to love or care for their children.

I've never had that ache to go back, it was a nightmare, and I can't imagine missing my abusers when they are gone. You can't miss the love of someone if you've never had it. I told my husband my thoughts, but he said he can't see the good; he can only see the sadness in the situation.

Does anyone else know what I'm saying? Haven't I found a silver lining?

Click to expand...

Have a past you have no desire to go back to would be very freeing. It must keep you grounded in the present. That to me would be the greatest gift of all time.

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

I was in a store the other day, and they were playing Neil Diamond's "Brooklyn Roads." In the song, he sings about the warm fuzzies of his childhood, how he misses it, wish he could go back but he can't, etc.

Listening to the song, I suddenly realized that I have never felt like that, and never will. My childhood was brutal and violent, and my parents have always been far too self-absorbed to be able to love or care for their children.

I've never had that ache to go back, it was a nightmare, and I can't imagine missing my abusers when they are gone. You can't miss the love of someone if you've never had it. I told my husband my thoughts, but he said he can't see the good; he can only see the sadness in the situation.

Does anyone else know what I'm saying? Haven't I found a silver lining?

Click to expand...

i understand. i was beaten and abused when i was a child by my dad and step-mom...very badly. my mom had her moments too but she got better and got help- we have a pretty good relationship now. i definitely have a bitter taste left in my mouth from the abuse i suffered at the hands of my father and step-mom. i've even tried to forgive my father and start fresh more recently, but it seems like every time he just lets me down- my step mom-well i HATE her..i know that sounds aweful- but ya'll have no idea.....she's aweful. so yes, i understand having a pretty bad childhood...but i can see the silver lining in some things- i had good times too when i was little and not around them. at school with my friends, when i got my first dog and kitty....things like that, when some of my nieces were born....so i see some silver linings about things like that, but there's a lot i'd rather forget. sorry that song upset you- but you know,even though you never had that silver lining hon- i bet you're making sure your young loved ones will now try to look at it like that- if you just dwell on it- you'll be miserable. my childhood stunk in a lot of ways, but i try to make something positive out of it by making sure i'm there for my nieces and nephews now and when i have kids so i can make sure they won't ever have to go through what i did.

I call it the Bliss of Reality... but it's the same thing as the silver lining. While you didn't have an idea childhood to reminisce fondly over you have the knowledge and satification of being free from it. I'm also willing to bet that that time in your life taught you many valuable things too. Sure it's sad to have a violent childhood but I think it's equally sad to wish you could go back. I'm a very live in the present type person and while I've had many great adventures in the past it's todays adventure that I look forward too the most.

Ok, that sounds so after school special! But I mean it.

I'm sure that we've all wondered what it would have been like to have caring loving parents. It's hard not to.

I mostly went through emotional and verbal abuse, while I haven't completely forgiven my parents, I don't hate them. They have their own lives and seem to be getting what they deserve. My mother is slowly getting sicker because of years of chain smoking and my father seems to be losing his memory... and the sad thing is I won't cry when they're gone, I have no feelings for them, they took care of that many years ago.
The only good thing from my childhood were my pets, and my grandma (RIP) and uncle (RIP).

I was quite shocked when I first met my DH's family years ago, his parents never yell at each other or their sons, never call each other horrible names. They're loving, openly affectionate, and supportive of each other. I never knew such families actually existed.