Should I Get Rid Of My Cat?

All you cat lovers are gonna hate me... but the thing is, my cat's just so mean, I'm thinking of replacing him or getting another pet altogether. He's too old to do some of the things he's doing [he's about 9 months old!]. He's beyond a kitten. He bites, scratches, knocks things down [often breaking them], and gets on the sinks and counters and other places he shouldn't be. The worst part is the biting and scratching... I have scabs, bruises, and scars all up and down my arms from where he's done that.
I did have him fixed, but, that seemed to have no effect... he went back to his old ways within a few days after I had it done. So I'm at a loss. I don't have time for all the behavior modification techniques, as I'm a busy college student. I just want a cat that will behave and curl up in my lap and let me pet him [without biting!]. So what should I do?

Most cats dont come knowing how to stay off counters, not to bite ect. Part of our job is to teach them.As for giving it away I dont know its your choice but if you dont have time for it then its probly better in a home that does. If you are looking for ways to help stop it we can try to help.

I would say no- to getting rid of your cat.

Have you looked up any of the behaviour methods here on TCS?

My Bayley- is 1 (today), he still gets up on the counters and in the sink, no matter how much I say NO in a stern voice, he just keeps giong up there- but he's not hurting anything. My older cat, Harley (almost 2) does the same thing. Have you tried getting your cat a cat tree? I know that my boys go up on the counters because they like to be 'up high'.

I would't get rid of them for it, I love them too much. I would suggest listening to some of the members methods for stopping the biting and scratching. Have you tried saying NO in a stern voice?

I don't know if your giong to find a cat that always wants to sit on your lap and be held. I know my Bayley is like that, but we didn't know that until we adopted him. Love your cat for who he is! Cats will be cats, and cats will climb!

Best of luck to you

Neither of my cats are really lap cats. One will lay next to me in bed and the other one will lay at my feet. They will come to me when they want to be petted but they aren't lap cats and they don't like being picked up. One of my cats was a biter when he was a kitten but he eventually came out of it but it took a while. I just kept telling him no, hissing at him, and then ignore him for a while. One of my cats still jumps up on the counters. It used to be just the other one, she quit then my little boy started. He even tried to jump up on the refrigerator, he didn't make it and fell. He hasn't tried that one again. I just don't have anything breakable close to the edges and I don't leave anything I don't want him to get into out on the counters. I figure with cats like with kids you have to pick your battles and the counters are a battle I have chosen not to fight.

Have you tried using anything to deter your cat from jumping up onto counters/tables? You can put several inches of foil around the edges or double-sided tape there. Cats get freaked out by the noise of the foil, and hate sticky stuff!
As for the scratching and whatnot, try a hissing noise. It mimics other cats and will indicate to him to not do what he's doing. Don't forget to quickly and thoroughly clean any cat scratches!
Your cat's still young if you haven't done anything to train him; you can't expect them to be perfect from the womb. He's still very moldable, so I'd say don't give up! You've already begun to form a bond and putting forth the effort will only strengthen it! If the biting, scratching and climbing are the only major flaws and he's a great kitty besides, he's definitely worth keeping around. (I'm a college student myself, so I understand how busy you are!)

you just described my orange tabby, Bert...and he's over a year old, and I don't forsee him getting any better in the near future. I would never dream of giving him up though. He depends on me, just as your cat depends on you. He is probably bored...many animals get destructive when they are not stimulated enough. Not all cats are just there when you need companionship and go on their way when you don't have time for them. I have 6 cats, with 6 distinct personalities. Some like to snuggle, some are happy with a back scratch and will then go on their way and nap in a far off corner of the house. I have accepted each of them for who they are and would never be disappointed for who they turned out to be. Have you considered getting him a companion? Also getting rid of him doesn't fix HIS problem, it just fixes YOUR problem, and makes HIM someone elses problem, which is pretty selfish IMO.

I don't mean this to sound discouraging....my Damita is a 7 year old mostly blind cat. She is sitting on the counter knocking things off right now. She also bites. She was never trained.

9 months is still a kitten, very much so. You are looking at another year or possibly more of "kitten-hood". This is the "teenager" stage. Be prepared!

Invest in some bitter apple spray. Coat yourself. When he bites, "yowl". I currently have a 5 week foster kitten that every time she bites me I go "yow". She is learning quickly that biting is a bad thing.

You're cat isn't just going to be the "curl up in you're lap". That is one major disadvantage of kittens, you simply cannot tell what they will grow up to be like(which is why I will always adopt adult cats ).

I'm going to be Ms. Negativity here. It will be difficult to re-home you're cat. If you go the route of a rescue center, some will euthanize because he has "behavior issues".

Sounds to me like he's bored. Try playtime, 15 minutes in the morning, 15 minutes right before bed. Feed him before you go to bed. If you are sitting doing homework...multitask. Either plunk him in you're lap for some loving or do what I do when I'm studying.....learn have to wave a wand toy & read! Get tons of toys. Rotate them weekly. Try some that are like....ummm....rings with balls in them. Look for a Turbo Scratcher. Leave the TV on if he likes to watch TV.

I am a college student. I work from home. I also have 6 adult cats & am bottle feeding one 5 week old kitten. It can be done. And we are more than willing to help you work through this. I can understand you're frusteration.

I am a full-time college student and work about 30 hours a week. It is hard. I have an 11 yr old cat and a 12 week old kitten.

They can learn. Daphne already knows that when she scratches, there is no more play time. When I say OUCH loudly, she understands that it means play has ended for a bit. Always use your hands for feel-good things like petting and stroking and feeding. Use wand type toys for playing with claws. That way he knows to be gentle with hands. Never discipline him harshly. This will only make him afraid of you and that isn't the type of relationship to have.

He is still absolutely a kitten! there is no way he "should" know anything. He is a cat. He operates on cat rules. It is our job as loving, "more intelligent" humans to learn those rules and work within that framework.

Thing is, you need to make your relationship with your cat a priority. He isn't like a plant that just needs food and water once in a while. He is a living, breathing, feeling mammal and needs the same type of interaction we all do. He is not just a cute fuzzy to play with now and then.

There is a lot of good advice and support on this site.

I hope you can work this out. Sebastian has been with me for 10 years and I would be so lost without him. He is the longest relationship I've had with a male He is also my best friend. I know Daphne will be with me a long time too. I make allowances. I live in a very small studio apartment so all horizontal surfaces are for the cats. They have more furniture than I do.

Pets are a lifetime responsibility. When you adopt a kitten, you have to plan for about 20 years with him. That is a big commitment for anyone and not one to be taken lightly.

I hope I wasn't too harsh, I truly don't mean to be. Please keep us updated with whatever you decide to do. Welcome to TCS!

Like everyone else has said, 9 months is still a kitten. My Mosi is 16 months old and stil a lunatic His behaviour sounds perfectly normal to me.

Do you spend some time playing with him every day? If not, he'll be bored and will make his own entertainment. He may be knocking things over to get your attention or just because it's fun. Make sure he has lots of cat toys, activity centres etc, and try to spend some time each day playing interactively with him. Fishing rod style toys are great as most cats love chasing them around so they get physical exercise as well as the chance to utilise their hunting skill.

Cats are attracted to high places so it's only natural that they want to go on counters etc. It's reasonable to not want him on the counters, but bear in mind that the only way to keep him off them may be to shut him out of the room. You may be able to teach him to stay off them by saying "No" or hissing when he jumps up, or you can try double sided sticky tape or repellent spray which may deter him. Those techniques work with some cats but not with others. There's also a good chance that while he may stay off them when you're there he'll be on them as soon as your back is turned That's cats for you! They what they want not what you want. Making sure there are lots of high up places he can go may deter him from going where you dont' want him to go.

The same with biting - if he bites you try hissing at him or blowing in his face. Alternatively say "no" firmly and withdraw your attention from him (including no eye contact) so that he's not rewarded for aggression. You could even try time out with him - worked well for me with Mosi. If he's aggressive just calmly, and without making eye contact, pick him up and place him in another room, eg bathroom, for a few minutes. It may just be a phase he's going through or he may just be trying to get your attention, but it's still best deterred.

Originally Posted by HelloISmileYou

I don't have time for all the behavior modification techniques, as I'm a busy college student. I just want a cat that will behave and curl up in my lap and let me pet him [without biting!]. So what should I do?

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That does worry me somewhat. Cats are individuals and all have different temperaments. Some are loving, others a bit more distant. Some are lap cats while others will never climb onto your lap (but may still be affectionate). They are all individuals and deserve owners who will love them for what they are. If you have a cat you have to make the time to spend with him. If you can't make the time or you don't feel you could cope with him not being a lap cat, then maybe you should rehome him. It's possible that a cat is just not the right pet for you right now if you have a very busy lifestyle. Cats are fairly easy maintenance but they do need some of our time and attention each day.

Everyone has responded with very good points for you. A 9 month cat is very much still a kitten. My cat is 15 months now and she's mellowed a little bit but instead she's a much more powerful bigger cat and needs more space to move around in and explore so she's just as much work now as when she was a kitten. (I need to play with her for a solid 1.5-2 hours a day to keep her happy, otherwise she'll start being destructive. I love playing with cats though so I don't mind at all.)

Cats are living breathing small furry predator. They are not living teddy bears. I understand the appeal of a cat that will cuddle with you and be all mellow and easy going and very low maintenance to take care of but most cats, especially when young are not like that at all.

They are fierce little hunters that need to explore and hunt and play. If they don't get an outlet for these natural behaviours the cats will often become destructive, either to their environment or themselves.

I would think about your living space and how it looks like from a cats perspective. Cats love high places and to climb and jump so maybe you could put in a cat tree or clear a high bookshelf and put up a mini climbing frame for him to get up on. That might make it easier to keep him off your counters and tables.

Play with him with toys (feather sticks are great for that, long plastic poles with a bunch of feathers at the end) most cats love chasing these and it'll keep your hands from getting scratched. If you want to play rough get sturdy leather gloves and wrap your arm in a towel or something like that (I'm not recommending playing rough with a cat but if you do, arm yourself first)

I have to say I'm rather concerned though with the tone of your post where it seems as if you're not willing to spend any time and effort into fixing the relationship with your cat. Sounds a bit like a new parent complaining that their baby cries at night while they just wanted a cute little baby to buy cute baby clothes for.

everyone has some really great advice for you. i am going to add a book that is very good reading. when i worked at a shelter i recommended it to new cat parents. it's called "think like a cat" by pam johnson-bennett. she writes it so you can use the training methods. a lot of libraries carry it too.

do you have any cat toys, forts or scratching posts? they don't need to be expensive. some of my cats favorites were free or from wal-mart. also, garage sale season is starting and you can find cat forts & scratching posts at garage sales for just a few dollars. you can also check your local "freecycle" group. ours has cat toys/items show up periodically. using a wand toy, such as "Da Bird" can help distract him when he starts to be naughty. i don't require my cats to stay off the counters unless i'm cooking. i lost the battle on that years ago. i do keep a squirt bottle to keep them off while i'm using the counter.

good luck with your kitty. at 9 months old he's still very young.

Originally Posted by HelloISmileYou

All you cat lovers are gonna hate me... but the thing is, my cat's just so mean, I'm thinking of replacing him or getting another pet altogether. He's too old to do some of the things he's doing [he's about 9 months old!]. He's beyond a kitten. He bites, scratches, knocks things down [often breaking them], and gets on the sinks and counters and other places he shouldn't be. The worst part is the biting and scratching... I have scabs, bruises, and scars all up and down my arms from where he's done that.
I did have him fixed, but, that seemed to have no effect... he went back to his old ways within a few days after I had it done. So I'm at a loss. I don't have time for all the behavior modification techniques, as I'm a busy college student. I just want a cat that will behave and curl up in my lap and let me pet him [without biting!]. So what should I do?

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Your cat is still a kitten. He is doing exactly what kittens his age do. I understand that you are a busy college student, but your cat still needs your time and attention. He may never be a lap cat - or he may. All cats have their own personalities - as we do.

I really hope you can make the time and effort to spend with your cat and develop a loving relationship. If that is impossible for you and you decide to "get rid" of him, please find someone that can love him and take good care of him.

Good luck!

Originally Posted by HelloISmileYou

I don't have time for all the behavior modification techniques, as I'm a busy college student. I just want a cat that will behave and curl up in my lap and let me pet him [without biting!]. So what should I do?

Click to expand...

There are no guarantees with cats - all cats require work. If you really don't have time for behavior modification with this cat, then I suggest that you do find a new loving home for him and wait to adopt another when you have time to take care of it. I know this sounds harsh, but I'm trying to be realistic here.

You should keep the cat. We had a female cat who was okay with us, but not the friendliest cat. She had her nice moments, but liked to growl and hiss at our visitors. We kept her until she died at 12, almost 13 years old, and we gave her a loving home. They all have their personalities.

When you say get rid of her, would you find someone you know to take her? I volunteer at a shelter, and they have so many cats come in (about 25% get adopted) that they have no choice but to euthanize the ones who are not adoptable. Would you be able to live with the fact that this cat may be euthanized if it wouldn't be or couldn't be adopted? Nobody will adopt a cat that is not friendly to them, but I'm sure you can just give it a good place to live, and work with it's behavior problems. I see so many cats at the shelter who are brought there because the owner "doesn't have time for them" or "behavior problems", and I feel so bad for these cats. But that is a whole other discussion....

I agree that when you get a pet, it is your responsibility to take care of it for it's life, and lots of people don't do that. We can't treat our pets like they are disposable.

Originally Posted by dch123

I agree that when you get a pet, it is your responsibility to take care of it for it's life

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To the OP - your cat is still a kitten, and will continue to behave like one for some time. All animals require time given to them to care for them and to modify their behaviour, if you don't have time I wonder why you got a pet in the first place tbh. But since you have this kitten, you need to dedicate some time to it.

Incidentally, I got my bachelors degree by studying evenings and weekends while I was working at my paid job full time during weekdays, and I still had time to give my pets the attention they deserved. The only thing that suffered was my social life. It wasn't easy, but when you are responsible for another creature's life and happiness, you have to make an effort.

Well-- Some cats will 'calm down' with age...but many cats will never be just lap cats. I've had one neurotic cat for 11 years and a few years ago she started biting less. When she was a kitten up to 2 she knocked glasses with liquid over all the time... but she stopped. Have you tried a water gun? only use it when your cat is really naughty, or else he will just book it everytime you bring it out. Have a little patience, cats are curious!

I had a kitten just like yours (9 months is still absolutely and in every physical and mental sense a kitten) and that is how I found TCS. She was unbelieveable - I actually named her Scratchy. She's the little grey one in my avatar. Once she grew up, all of that stopped. She's still a prickly little thing but she loves me to bits - and shows me in many ways. With highly active kittens like this, intelligent, a bit crazy (the usual kitten stuff) they need stimulation and lots of it to make them tired - toys, structured play time each night before bed so they're sleepy. Cats will sleep up to 22 hours a day, kittens more, you don't really have to put that much time into it, actually, to make a difference in both your lives. But it's very hard to unconditionally love an animal that rips you to shreds, breaks all your stuff and generally makes your life a lot harder than it was before.

Thing is, you've got her now, so she's your responsibility. You may not have had a cat before but you are never, ever going to be able to guarantee that you'll get one that will quiety curl up in your lap and cuddle you. Most cats aren't really cuddlers - they are hunters, they are independent, they are often reserved and usually prefer to be left alone. Paradoxically, mostly when you leave them alone is when they want to be around you. This is because they’re not like dogs – overt attention is often intimidating to a cat. They want a calm, reserved person to love.

Cats are not objects. They’re not there to comfort us and do what we want, whenever we want. They’re not there to be cuddled when we want and to be forgotten about when we don’t have time. I am a full time worker, too. I have multiples of cats and two dogs. You get pets and you have a responsibility – if you wanted something that didn’t have feelings and spirit and needs and requirements other than food and shelter, you should have got a goldfish.

They are wonderful, spirited and interesting pets, that will provide a wealth of love and affection if you learn to understand them. But they are not disposable, to be `got rid of’ when they become inconvenient. If you don’t have time to look after your cat properly – and again, this means much more than food and shelter – then you don’t really have time for any mammal. Dogs are a thousand, a million times harder than cats. If you find your kitten hard work I’m telling you now, do not ever, ever EVER get a dog. Ever. Perhaps some fish would be a good idea. I don’t mean to sound patronising, but they probably need the least commitment out of all pets, and they still need a fair bit of work to look after them properly.

At the end of the day, you have brought a living, breathing, feeling creature into your life. This requires time, effort, patience and commitment. If you don’t feel you can manage that, don’t beat yourself up, it’s a lesson you’ve learnt – as long as you do learn from it. I think if you stick with this kitten it will settle down and if you try to learn more about cats you will be richly rewarded. If you don’t have the time or don’t want to put in the effort, then it is your responsibility to find this cat a good, loving home with people who will take proper care of it. And that does not mean a shelter or rescue – although kittens are generally not hard to rehome. If you do give up your cat, I would think very seriously about getting another pet again, or not until you are more ready – they are hard work, in whatever form, and you must be prepared to work to make a happy home for your pet and you. Good luck, whatever you decide.

You may not like what I have to add about your comments/question about keeping your kitten. I may have missed it, but no where did I see that you loved or even liked your kitten. What in the world did you get any kind of a pet for? We are all busy, whether we work, go to school, raise families, etc. But all of us have made time and commitments to giving whatever pets we have (cats, dogs, goldfish) the love and attention that they need.
If you cannot do that, I suggest that you look for a no-kill shelter that will find your kitten a loving home that he deserves. It is not his fault that he has behavior problems. He is trying to tell you something and if you won't listen, shame on you.
I apologize for sounding off. I have never done this before, but I don't think you really understand the commitment that you should have been ready to make when you brought this kitten in to your life.

To pretty much echo what others have said.

9 months is still very much a kitten. My two oldest are 3 years now and they still act pretty kittenish at times as well. Young animals, like young people, are going to want to play, be rowdy, explore, get into mischief.

I currently have 3 cats, my two 3 year olds and an 11 week old kitten. People always think that cats are 'easy' to take care of, and it's true they don't require as much training as dogs, nor do you have to walk them etc, but that doesn't it doesn't still take a lot of energy and care to have a happy pet. You have to spend time with the kitten, play with it, talk to it, when she's being naughty , dicipline in the RIGHT ways (don't hit or yell) and be prepared for the fact she might not be the lazy lap cat type. My male cat is pretty lazy and mellow, and he likes to sit on my lap often.

The female cat will only sit on my husband's lap, and then only in the mornings and at night before bed, the rest of the day she's sleeping or off by herself, she's far more independant. The little kitten so far follows me around like a dog, but that may change as he gets older, though he is quite friendly and I don't see that changing. However, he's far more 'assertive' than the other male cat I have, and very bold. Every cat, like every person, is different. Instead of having expectations of how you want your cat to be, accept them for who they are, and you will be much happier. Though they might not be a lap cat, that doesn't mean they aren't great pets and will never show affection.

A little issue like her being a kitten and rowdy should hardly deter you. My kitten likes to knock over any cup or glass he can get at, he chews on things if we don't put them up out of reach, he's super hyper in the morning after sleeping all night and loves to climb, play, get into trouble, and just be a kitten. These things you have to be prepared for, that is what some cats do...some grow out of it, some don't, but that doesn't make them bad cats, they're just active and may need more attention than a couch potato cat.