Kids under 13 y/o and cats

white cat lover

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Take this example:

Family wants a cat. Two kids, mom, dad. Kids are...8 & 10? THey decide a kitten is the way to go. They want to be absolutely sure that the cat they get is good with kids. Which, is reasonable. They meet the kittens we have for adoption. Select one, decide maybe a pair is best. Spent 2 hours talking to me about what to get, where to set things up, where to keep the kitten(s) at first. I reccomend some books. Come back 2 days later decided they want 2 kittens. They have one on hold from a litter of 3. They want to hold the other two to see how they interact with the kids, that is how they decide. One kitten is much smaller than the other two & they decide to go with the bigger one because she is bigger & because the son handled her better(she was easier for him to hold).

The kids then show me the toys they made for their new kittens. Where did they learn how to make the toys? From the books on kittens they bought with their allowance. They get $5 a month....& have been saving for like 6 months each.


You should have been the parents beaming. They had a right to be proud of their kdis. The kids kept asking me if they were holding the kitten right & tons of good questions for how young they were! )
 

followedbydolls

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Originally Posted by 4BadCats

it is all about respect and understanding - it is wrong to say that no kids under 13 should have cats - there are plenty of grown adults out there who shouldn't have cats (or any other animals, come to think of it!!)
I agree. Every situation is unique. I consider Children future animals advocates, it's important they understand how valuable they are and to have an opportunity to experience the unconditional love only a pet can provide.
 

jpawz

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This was my response in the original thread (to the inital poster, not the poster who made the actual comment):

Aww I wouldnt worry about the idea that cats and small kids are a bad mix. I have worked with animals most of my adult life, and had pets all of my life.

It's not about the age of the person with the pet. There are grown adults who shouldnt' have pets for pete's sake. There is nothing more wonderful (for me, at least) than having my 2 toddlers and sharing/teaching about animals and nature. In fact, I think kids grow more compassionate as a result.

The KEY is how we teach them I take that role very seriously and you know what? Toddlers arent' stupid. They watch US and OUR interactions with our pets and they model. My 2 toddlers know which cat we have that are 'shy' and not to bother with (they wait until they are approached!) They know not to approach a cat when eating or sleeping...and they know how to pet them and are so loving...my cats are more affectionate and tolerant with the 3yr and 2yr old now as a result of working with the dynamics--.it fills me with pride to see these relationships develop

It can take time because not all pets/kids are the same obviously, but nothing worth doing is easy!!! Your son may get more curious about your pets as he grows and every day is a teaching opportunity

As for your situation, again, I applaud you for still working with Samantha. I think only time will help now, consistant routines with her. You are trying to implement a new plan with her and when she gets in the groove it will probably be smoother for all. There may be some trial and error but you'll find something that works for everyone.
 

sharky

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Well I was brought into a family with a senior cat of 11 , a younger cat and a large GSD dog ... I was TAUGHT ... NO the 11 yr old cat and I were never buddies but we loved each other
 

jpawz

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NO the 11 yr old cat and I were never buddies but we loved each other
Exactly


Being best buds is a bonus if it happens. You cant' force that part so much. But you can *teach* mutual respect. Hmmm...edited to clarify that I believe a good portion of that respect is earned, from both the pet and the child, so it's both learned *And* earned.

You teach the children, who have the growing human ability to rationalize and understand cause/effect to respect an animal's nature. In turn, the animal will respond with appreciation, if not affection (but that usually does come, even if in spurts).

I want my children to understand, respect, and be comfortable around animals. They will get an occasional scratch--that's ok. Cats react to things and sometimes kids will have merited a 'warning' (experience is best teacher!) You cant' expect mutual harmony when a baby's/toddler's abrupt movements scare or irk cats. But babies are kinda cool because they *grow* and *learn*


pets and kids are pretty amazing in that they are more resiliant, tolerant, and adaptable than we often give them credit for. They usually work things out among themselves with firm and loving guidance from the adults (as one example, cats tend to stay out of a small toddler's way until the toddler is more controlled...or we provide plenty of safe havens for cats to they can 'get away from it all'...indulge in their love for vertical space with a few cat trees and kid-free spaces)

This all said....there are instances where animals and small kids aren't the best mix. It can depend on breed and child age. For example-- look at German Shephard dogs. I *heart* them. And they are great protectors, but usually loyal to a main person in a household. Bringing an older GS into a home with small children isn't USUALLY the best set up.

BUT adopting a GH puppy when you have kids ages 4+....that can be a recipe for a longtime friendship


Each dynamic is different. Common sense. Good parenting. You can't ever BLAME the kids or the pets; we are the link
 

howtoholdacat

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I've some friends who have two young boys. They've a large male cat who tolerates accidental poking with good nature and enjoys playing with the kids. He's wonderful with the kids. He sleeps with the oldest boy and even goes to find their mom when the baby cries.

My cat Friday LOATHES AND DETESTS
company. He hisses and growls and attacks and is downright nasty. (Due to diligent efforts for many years he has improved!) Anyway, my friend brought the one year over. He crawled up to Friday, Friday hissed and the baby smiled. Friday was so baffled he didn't know what to do. He let the baby pet him! I nearly fell down. It seems to me that kids might be good for cats!
 

jpawz

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Originally Posted by howtoholdacat

I He crawled up to Friday, Friday hissed and the baby smiled. Friday was so baffled he didn't know what to do. He let the baby pet him! I nearly fell down. It seems to me that kids might be good for cats!
That moment had to be a mixture of
and


But I am totally smiling....I tell ya--kids and cats (animals) work on a level we can't even reach
 

howtoholdacat

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Originally Posted by Jpawz

That moment had to be a mixture of
and
To say the very least! I was holding my breath because I was afraid Friday would scratch at him and I wouldn't get there in time. The baby's mom was MUCH calmer than I was.
 

booktigger

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I posted on teh initial thread - I was brought up with animals until teh age of 16, then a 3 year break, then ever since really. My sis was brought up with them till the age of 9, yet she wouldn't make a good pet owner - but she is very immature for her age, and has different interests. I have homed where there have been young kids, but only after watching how they interact with them, and how the parents supervise them. I homed one earlier this year, and the little girl was telling all her friends at nursery, spent her pocket money on him, shared her tea, and then they curled up on the sofa together. It can be done, but does depend on the child, and the parent. I dont even agree with teh rescues that have blanket policies of no kids under the age of 6, never mind 13.
 

emmylou

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The original post doesn't make sense to me. Why does it presume that kids would default to dog-owning behavior? In my family everyone always had cats... we wouldn't have known what to do with a dog. We'd probably have treated a dog like a cat.
 
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ping

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Originally Posted by emmylou

The original post doesn't make sense to me. Why does it presume that kids would default to dog-owning behavior? In my family everyone always had cats... we wouldn't have known what to do with a dog. We'd probably have treated a dog like a cat.
Doesn't really make sense to me either. The orignal post came out of JulieKit thread in this section.
 

catsarebetter

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I'm going to go with it's 99.99 percent the responsibility of the parents to teach the children how to act and what is permissible around animals. If an animal is not to be disturbed, then the child needs to learn that we do NOT pick this animal up. We do NOT play with this animal. There are very few children who can't be taught the appropriate levels of respect. It might take a little longer with some than others, but ultimately, most children can learn to respect animals. I suppose there are a few that can't learn it, but.. it's usually the parents and not the children.
 

jpawz

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The original post doesn't make sense to me. Why does it presume that kids would default to dog-owning behavior? In my family everyone always had cats... we wouldn't have known what to do with a dog. We'd probably have treated a dog like a cat.
hmmm! I just caught that. good point.

Maybe in that cats are more anxious around small childrens' energy than dogs are? Kids' abrupt movements and loudness can be rough on a cat moreso than a dog? Kids expect a cat to 'listen' and react like a dog and can be confounded with a cat's independence and err...cat-itudes?

Of course that just a generalization---there are small breed dogs that are more nervous than cats and big old cats as calm as a sloth....(I have a old Maine Coon in mind, that I miss)...

Every situation is unique, every pet, every child, and every household dynamic.

Kids can certainly be a stressor on pets but I see more pet families bond than I do unravel (with kids and pets).
 

catsarebetter

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Originally Posted by emmylou

The original post doesn't make sense to me. Why does it presume that kids would default to dog-owning behavior? In my family everyone always had cats... we wouldn't have known what to do with a dog. We'd probably have treated a dog like a cat.
I think the point there being that dogs are generally heartier, and will put up with a lot more abuse than cats will.
 

epona

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Originally Posted by emmylou

The original post doesn't make sense to me. Why does it presume that kids would default to dog-owning behavior? In my family everyone always had cats... we wouldn't have known what to do with a dog. We'd probably have treated a dog like a cat.
That's a good point! I have absent-mindedly whistled to Radar expecting him to whistle back before now - I default to 'budgie owner'
 

emmylou

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Heh.

I'm not sure the generalization of dogs being tougher holds up. There are so many little nervous dogs, and a lot of big tough cats (or cats that are happy to put up with any kind of handling). Plus adult cats can defend themselves just as well as a dog can... they've got the teeth and claws.
 

xxtashaxx

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my children are 9 , 7 and 3
my oldest daughter (9) forest sleeps with her everynight , then the (7) yr old patch sleeps with her everynight.
most of my cats love to be pet even my 3 year old knows his not to pick up the cats , he is so gentle with them. with the kittens we have at the moment , he will either ask " mum can i stroke your baby" and i will tell him yes if his gentle and he is , he knows his not allowed in my room unless im in there just in case. and his never gone in there when im not in there.
so im on the side of if children are brought up to respect animals and other people i really dont see a problem with young children and any animal mixing and living together.
i know some of our shelters wont home to familys with children under 5 , but the only time i have seen a cat not allowed to be homed to a family with a child under 12 was a cat who had major issues.
 

asecretk

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I don't get the comparison to a child thinking a cat is a dog.

Both of my kids, now 18 and 16, were both raised with cats and dogs. It is up to the parent to make she both the child and the pet are safe.

The parent must teach the child to respect the animals space. They also must learn how to handle the animal, i.e. we can not carry fluffy around buy the ears or pulls Fidos tail.

If a child is being irresponsable with an animal then I feel the parent never taught the child how to behave around the animal.

And I can't blame a child that trys to act harmful with an animal if they were never raised with them. That is the parents responsibility to take Suzy or Mikey by the hand and tell them not to touch another persons pet unless the owner says it is okay.
 

jpawz

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Originally Posted by AsecretK

The parent must teach the child to respect the animals space. They also must learn how to handle the animal, i.e. we can not carry fluffy around buy the ears or pulls Fidos tail.

If a child is being irresponsable with an animal then I feel the parent never taught the child how to behave around the animal.

And I can't blame a child that trys to act harmful with an animal if they were never raised with them. That is the parents responsibility to take Suzy or Mikey by the hand and tell them not to touch another persons pet unless the owner says it is okay.
If my toddlers catch me stroking a cat's tail they tell me "Mommy, we don't touch kitty tails!"
I taught them this from the get go (but of course I get away with more with my cats as I know what they will tolerate from me).

I used to jog in this park with a large pond. Many geese families. I loved seeing the mom and dad geese waddle about with their fuzzy babies (ducks too). One time I saw a small child chasing the geese and babies. The babies were frantic and the parents were hissing. The parents sat on a bench nearby laughing. Me =


I stopped my jog and told the parents that geese *will* bite when defending themselves and their babies and that really, we shouldn't scare them when this is their 'home' site. I presented it as if I was nervous for THEIR child's welfare (well I was a smidge) but I was so upset for the geese! I must not have been too obnoxious (heh) because they thanked me and ran after their son. (I am sure I got a few meanie comments though!)

Countless more examples where that came from regarding all sorts of animals.

I am bit of an animal protector who has a helluva time shutting her pie hole
 

catsarebetter

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Originally Posted by AsecretK

I don't get the comparison to a child thinking a cat is a dog.

Both of my kids, now 18 and 16, were both raised with cats and dogs. It is up to the parent to make she both the child and the pet are safe.

The parent must teach the child to respect the animals space. They also must learn how to handle the animal, i.e. we can not carry fluffy around buy the ears or pulls Fidos tail.

If a child is being irresponsable with an animal then I feel the parent never taught the child how to behave around the animal.

And I can't blame a child that trys to act harmful with an animal if they were never raised with them. That is the parents responsibility to take Suzy or Mikey by the hand and tell them not to touch another persons pet unless the owner says it is okay.
I don't think it's about the child thinking that a cat is a dog. I think basically what she was saying is that cats shouldn't be around children because children are too rough, and that dogs are more suited to families with children because dogs are (generally) more tolerant and patient, etc. I think it was basically an allusion to let the dogs deal with children who haven't been taught any better, not the cats.

I know someone earlier said about some dogs being tiny and not able to deal with rough handling either... and I just have to say that I forget that they exist because we're so used to having big dogs. I'm not personally a dog person but my family loves dogs so if they got one it would be something along the lines of an Irish Wolfhound, Great Dane, German Shepard (that being the small end).. St. Bernard..

Jpawz, good job on being diplomatic. That type of thing really makes me mad. But what's even worse???? Seeing the adults running after birds trying to kick them. I had to yell at someone in Boston doing that.
 
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