3rd cat causing problems with other cats

Hello everyone,

I'm at a point where I just can't take it anymore.... I don't know what to do.
I need to get some good advice...

I got a kitten last June - number 3 for me. I have a 7 year old male and a 3 year old female. Joe (the black kitten #3) has always been a bit crazy - jumping around on the other cats, biting them, etc. At first I thought - hey, he's a kitten and just wants to play. But now a year later he is still going strong, biting and attacking my cats every chance he gets. It seems like he just wants to play but it gets so bad that my one female cat Sprocket has bite marks on her chin all the time and Oscar (my 7 year old) is absolutely miserable.

When we yell at him he always runs in the other room and attacks the other cats. it's horrible, there is screeching all the time and I hate seeing my 2 cats so terrorized.

When I get a cat, they are with me for life. So I adopted Joe and obviously would like to see his behavior change before ever thinking of giving him away. Any suggestions? I just want all my cats happy....

does anyone have any advice for me?

I presume your boy is already neutered, but if he isn't, that could be the cause of his aggression.

You might try giving this boy some special, quality one-on-one play time with a feather wand or other toy he enjoys to help direct his energy towards a less traumatizing outlet than your other cats. Play hard with him for 30 minutes or so two to three times a day so he establishes a routine and a way to get his playful aggression out without risking injury to your others.

You can ask your vet about his agressive behavior, the vet might be able to suggest something. Also, I've heard that the Feliway plug-ins can help with aggression and to calm some cats.

But I think you have to also realize that not all cats can get along. When we got our second cat, we made a decision that if Chloe (cat #1) didn't adjust or was not happy, that we would have to find another home for Anya (cat #2). We were already committed to Chloe, and we looked at the situtation as a temporary one until Chloe was able to accept Anya. She did, after several months. But things were never as bad as you are describing with your cats.

If things don't get better, you should consider finding a new home for Joe. You can find the right person to take him in, and you will feel better knowing where he's gone to live. Good luck.

Well I can really sympathise with your problem - see my signature oops now changed - Teddy (black) is our terror and Miss Moofi (on right) is the one he tends to terrorise all the time Its awful cos Moofs is our baby of the 4 cat household we have.

The other two - Dino & Pepsi are both over 13yrs and for most of the time he doesnt bother them, think thats due to the fact they are sleeping

You see Miss Moofs will run away from Teddy and he thinks its a game, so....well yep, he chases her, she runs further, he follows

So here are a few things we have been doing

1/ play time, as already mentioned is a great distractor and also tires him out

2/ time-out - if Teddy has pounced once to often - we put him in our basement, its not a punishment, just some quiet time, the basement is a 2nd lounge, so its comfortable, and has all he needs. He's knows (well I think he does) and he just jumps on the sofa, when I go back he's still there but ready to come out.

3/ he sleeps in his basement - Miss Moofi sleeps with us and there is no way I would take that quality time away from her It is really important to make sure the other cats get attention

4/ no screaming or shouting - which is hard, but that doesn't help, it only confueses them and can upset the other cats

5/ take time, we've had Teddy over 10 weeks now and only recently had him neutered - as he was only a baby when he joined us - things wont happen over night

I have seen some improvements in his behaviour, he likes Dino and sometimes if Dino allows it Teddy will sleep very near to him Teddy is allowed in our lounge as he can now be on one of the sofas without hassling my other kits.

Feed time is not as hectic, I think Teddy has now realised he is gonna be fed, so doesn't bother the others. When we 1st got him he really bolted his food he was a hungry boy.

Anyway sorry for long reply - just be patient and take your time, its is very hard and upsetting but it will come keep us posted !

Actually I'm having the same issues with my 11 week old kitten. True, he's only 11 weeks old and I know he wants to PLAY and spaz out like most kittens, but he really seems to enjoy pouncing on the older neutered male cat (who is 3)

Sven, the older male, won't really fight back. He's a lover, not a fighter so he just lets himself be tackled and chewed on by the kitten. I'm not sure if this is just because the kitten is....well ... a kitten, or if he'll continue this aggressive sort of play as he gets older. I suspect he'll settle a bit once he's fixed, or at least I really hope so.

If you find anything that works for you, please let me know as I may be facing the same thing in the not so far off future! I try to play with the kitten a few times one on one each day, and it does seem to help a bit, but first thing in the morning and right before bed, he's very hyper (cats being most active in morning and at dusk of course) and Sven is his favorite chew toy

Originally Posted by deeeee

When we yell at him he always runs in the other room and attacks the other cats. it's horrible, there is screeching all the time and I hate seeing my 2 cats so terrorized.

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This in particular sounds like re-directed agression. I have two cats Tara (1) and Princess Frenchie (2). Tara is very playful and has tons of energy which is starting to annoy Frenchie as she doesn't want to play as much/doesn't know how to play with Tara. I'm looking for a 3 cat primarily as a playmate for Tara (the Princess won't like it but she will deal with it as she's got a good thing going with me and I do think it will help her develop socially).

Now when I'd scream at Tara ie telling her to get out of my office (off limits to cats) or off my bed or table (off limits) she'd turn and attack the Princess. She KNOWS she can't hit or fit me so she turns her anger on a target with less negative consequences. Once I stopped yelling at her for doing things she wasn't supposed to do she'd stop beating up on Princess Frenchie (aggressively anyway). When she is somewhere where she should be I firmly tell her to get out and then pick her up and re-deposit her somewhere she'll allowed to be. Consequently she doesn't try to get into off limits areas as much 'cause she knows she'll be removed.

Also do you leave interactive toys out for him? Tara works alot of her energy out on chasing those little toy Zanie mice most of the day and night. Try to find something your cat can play with by himself may also help.

Thanks everyone for your replies... I really appreciate it.

It's so weird...even though lil joe terrorizes the other cats, I come home and they are all sleeping together on the bed. I don't know if this means they are necessarily getting along but its almost like my other cats just accept now that he is part of the household, ya know?

I've tried what some of you have suggested... to play with him alone til hes too tired for anything else. But he STILL attacks my Oscar and I feel so bad.

At the end of the day, it doesn't seem like the older too are THAT much traumatized by Joe, cause they always end up hanging out with him somewhere... even if just to watch his dumb antics. LOL. I think I mentioned before.. but Joe also sucks his tail since he was a kitten and I don't think that will ever stop.. it's kinda gross but we put up with it.

I've never felt afraid or anything leaving all the cats together when I go to work, I know they will be fine. I guess I'll talk to a vet as soon as I can get them in but i dunno... you guys dont think i have to worry about getting rid of him, right?
I love all of them, even lil joe, I wanna keep him. He is pretty sweet at the end of the day, he curls up for bed with me and licks my face before bed. He is a sweetie!!!

what do you think?

I don't know. I'm not sure if it will help or not, but I feel your pain. I have one aggressive female (noel), spayed, and one aggressive male (kahn), neutered. Noel beats up Kahn, he's terrorized. Kahn has always picked on everyone, but that specifically terrorizes the Mau (bagheera) who is really shy and skittish to begin with. Noel doesn't bother the other females but apparantly has issues with older males (no problems until the past month with the male, fine all through kittenhood and young adult).

I'm about to try Feliway, but there has also been some talk about Depovera injections. I've heard good things about Depo from my breeder, but when I posted about it on the boards, I haven't heard much about it overall and the one reply I did get was that they'd heard years ago it had some side effects. Depo supposedly stops the male "testosterone" response.. spraying and aggression in a lot of cases, in neutered males. I wondered if spayed aggressive females have a lack of estrogen too and if depo would help that. I still haven't heard back from the vet on this. If this works (supposedly) and there aren't side effects, I may try this instead of the Feliway since that looks so expensive.

The customer reviews on the Feliway from PetSmart were about 75% favorable and maybe 25% unfavorable. I mean, I think at this point I'm pretty willing to try anything, but the expense of Feliway is going to crush me. I'd probably need at least two, more likely to be 3 or 4.

I've never heard of feliway before, I think I'll go look it up online and see what it's all about. Has anyone had success with it?

Well, I'd suggest getting in online from petsmart.com. It's cheapest there. In the stores, at least here, it's much more expensive. I went to get those, saw the price and said no way. So, I'm going to order it from online, but in the meantime, I got an "off brand" spritzer that I've been using the last few days. Now, for the most part, they've been pretty calm. We have had an incident or two, but really, they haven't gotten out of control like they've been doing. They're all mellowed out.