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Thats It! I am done with her - Page 2

post #31 of 45
I don't really have anything else to add, but I do feel for you in your situation. This would be a tough call, for sure.

Best of luck to you and Samantha.
post #32 of 45
As far as the box goes, if you move it out of the baby's room a few inches or so at a time, she'll be ok with that (not realizing it's been moved if you're careful).
post #33 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieKit View Post
Well I think I need to take a break from here. Ive failed as a pet owner. This may not sit well with most of you but I need to rant.
I don't see how you've failed at all. You've put a lot of effort into trying to make your relationship with Samantha work. Now you're just trying out another alternative. Yes, maybe it would be more ideal to keep her indoors at all times, but if she's really not happy.... well what else can you do? It certainly sounds as though you aren't "giving up" on her at all. It sounds as though you're very willing to provide food and shelter (and maybe even a good scratch now and again) should Samantha want it. I'd have a major problem if you were just turning her outside and giving up all responsibility for her, but you're not doing that. You're just finding a compromise solution that'll work for the two of you.

A related story: when I was young and lived in Northern Canada a feral cat showed up at our house one day. There were no shelters nearby and we weren't going to leave the poor thing to her own devices as she'd been hanging around the town for a few weeks already, so we took her in. She was un-spayed (obviously) and as it was coming up on winter and the roads were getting bad so we weren't able to drive the 2 1/2 hours to the nearest vet to get her fixed immediately. So we kept her inside the entire winter and spring until we could take her to the vet, as my mother was adament that there would be no kittens. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what a difficult winter that was, and how unhappy she was to be inside.

Once she was fixed, she became in indoor/outdoor cat quite happily. She wasn't often friendly with us (other than my dad, strangely enough) but would come back to the house every night, and we'd feed her and take her to the vet and do whatever was necessary for her. We moved down to the city a few years later and brought her with us, and again she accepted our house as "home", although always on her own terms.

I dare anyone to tell me that we did the wrong thing in our treatment of her. She was always welcome in our home, and I don't believe that letting her outside was wrong. No, it wasn't ideal, but it was the best we could do for her.
post #34 of 45
Parents with children under 13 shouldnt have cats IMO. The kids treat the cats like dogs. This really affects the cats in a VERY negative way. Cats need to be left alone. They are NOT dogs. This may tick a few folks off that I said this. But I strongly feel that young kids should not be around cats for an extended period. I said my piece.
post #35 of 45
Slightly off topic, but just had to respond to the comment about people with kids under 13 not being allowed to adopt cats - that really is a load of rubbish, I have homed cats to people with kids from 3 upwards, we watch how the kids interact with teh cats, and importantly, how the parents are at watching their kids, and it works out well, I think it is important for kids to have pets at young ages as it teaches them that respect for animals, which we desperately need future generations to have. We also have a fosterer with a young child, and I have watched him around kittens and adults, and he is fine. You will get the odd one that doesn't, but then you get that with adults too.
post #36 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheap Sushi View Post
Parents with children under 13 shouldnt have cats IMO. The kids treat the cats like dogs. This really affects the cats in a VERY negative way. Cats need to be left alone. They are NOT dogs. This may tick a few folks off that I said this. But I strongly feel that young kids should not be around cats for an extended period. I said my piece.
I don't really see how these comments are 1) helpful to the original poster when addressing the problem at hand and 2) relevant to this discussion at all. I will allow them to stay a part of the thread for now, but let's remember to stay on topic here.
post #37 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheap Sushi View Post
Parents with children under 13 shouldnt have cats IMO. The kids treat the cats like dogs. This really affects the cats in a VERY negative way. Cats need to be left alone. They are NOT dogs. This may tick a few folks off that I said this. But I strongly feel that young kids should not be around cats for an extended period. I said my piece.


Maybe you are saying this because of my son? He is only 22 months but he is better with the cats than any older child could be. He flat out ignores them which is the greatest thing for me, so we have no conflicts between them.

BTW, just wanted to update I have her outside Saturday I spent the whole day trying to lure her out and catch her, then when I finally picked her up she cratched me in the belly, she was scared the poor girl is not used to being handled. I put her in the dog crate, and as soon as I took her outside I swear she placed her paws on the top part of the crate, looked out and started to meow. Im not sure if she was excited or scared but she definately looked alert.

I left her the night in the crate and she has been downstairs loose since then. My biggest worry was that she would bolt, but the girl is still there
post #38 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieKit View Post
Maybe you are saying this because of my son? He is only 22 months but he is better with the cats than any older child could be. He flat out ignores them which is the greatest thing for me, so we have no conflicts between them.

BTW, just wanted to update I have her outside Saturday I spent the whole day trying to lure her out and catch her, then when I finally picked her up she cratched me in the belly, she was scared the poor girl is not used to being handled. I put her in the dog crate, and as soon as I took her outside I swear she placed her paws on the top part of the crate, looked out and started to meow. Im not sure if she was excited or scared but she definately looked alert.

I left her the night in the crate and she has been downstairs loose since then. My biggest worry was that she would bolt, but the girl is still there
Aww I wouldnt worry about the idea that cats and small kids are a bad mix. I have worked with animals most of my adult life, and had pets all of my life.

It's not about the age of the person with the pet. There are grown adults who shouldnt' have pets for pete's sake. There is nothing more wonderful (for me, at least) than having my 2 toddlers and sharing/teaching about animals and nature. In fact, I think kids grow more compassionate as a result.

The KEY is how we teach them I take that role very seriously and you know what? Toddlers arent' stupid. They watch US and OUR interactions with our pets and they model. My 2 toddlers know which cat we have that are 'shy' and not to bother with (they wait until they are approached!) They know not to approach a cat when eating or sleeping...and they know how to pet them and are so loving...my cats are more affectionate and tolerant with the 3yr and 2yr old now as a result of working with the dynamics--.it fills me with pride to see these relationships develop

It can take time because not all pets/kids are the same obviously, but nothing worth doing is easy!!! Your son may get more curious about your pets as he grows and every day is a teaching opportunity

As for your situation, again, I applaud you for still working with Samantha. I think only time will help now, consistant routines with her. You are trying to implement a new plan with her and when she gets in the groove it will probably be smoother for all. There may be some trial and error but you'll find something that works for everyone.
post #39 of 45
I hope this really works for you guys. While, yes, being outdoors may not necessarily be the best thing, I've got 8 who are outdoors or in the garage. I've tried many times to bring one indoors, but she simply will not have it. She is happier outside, it is all she has known & is comfortable with.

I know this is not the easiest decision for you, but it just might be the "right one" for Samantha.

Please keep us updated on how she does!
post #40 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jpawz View Post
It's not about the age of the person with the pet. There are grown adults who shouldnt' have pets for pete's sake.
Too true! Sounds like you're well on your way to raising some fantastic animal lovers and hopefully advocates. We need more of them!

It sounds like Samantha might just work out as an outdoor kitty. I hope this is the case as your other posts suggest that she's not been a very happy kitty. I know putting her outside would not be an easy choice for any of us indoor advocates but if Samantha's overall well being is improved as dramatically as signs indicate it will be then you've made the right choice. Good for you for your commitment and for making the hard choices.
post #41 of 45
I think perhaps the post about childer under 13 was really meant to go here?

I think you've done evrything you could to keep her indoors. Some cats (espically semi-ferals) just don't like being inside IMO. As long as she's capable of fending for herself and at this point I bet she knows she has a safe haven with you. I'm sure she'll be fine.
post #42 of 45
nevermind I should have read better before I posted.
post #43 of 45
You know, you might find that all of your problems with her being indoors are solved by letting her be an indoor/outdoor cat, if she decides that she wants to come in. Sometimes they're just crazy indoors, but when you give them the indoor/outdoor option, all of their misbehaving stops.
post #44 of 45
Can she go to a local farm?>??

I have a semi feral and you have not failed ... your under alot of stress with pregnancey and a uncooperative kitty
post #45 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by howtoholdacat View Post
Too true! Sounds like you're well on your way to raising some fantastic animal lovers and hopefully advocates. We need more of them!

.
Thank you

It means a lot to both my husband and me that we raise our 2 toddlers to respect animals and nature.

My almost 2yr old daughter is amazing with all animals. Beyond her years. She has an empathy with them, and they are drawn to her; it's wild to watch her! She is so careful, she slows down her movements, she quiets her voice, she seems to know when to back off...and what's nice is when she is having a meltdown and no one can cheer her up, a cat walks by and BAM~she is smiling and talking to the cat.

My mom says that she is exactly like I was at her age so I think we have a mini -me on our hands! (this has both pros and cons )

My almost 3yr old son is more fly by the seat of his pants but he also is excellent with animals. Just not as obsessed as his sister

Ack! I have fully hijacked!
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