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I hope it's ok to post this, it's hilarious!

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
DOG DIARY

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing !
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing !
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing !

CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep
up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In
an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. *******s!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement
was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how
to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems
to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has
got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards
regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe ......For now...

post #2 of 19
That is so true it is hilarious! Just shows difference between cats and dogs. lol
post #3 of 19
I've seen this before, but it cracks me up every time. So true!!
post #4 of 19
Thread Starter 
Oh man, I thought I had something new here!
As soon as I read
"Day 983 of my captivity" I was LMAO, I knew it would be good.
post #5 of 19
Yep it has been around for quite a few years. I've seen a few different versions. Definitely one of my favorites!
post #6 of 19
hehe funny!!!
post #7 of 19
Hehehe that IS hilarious! I want a copy for the wall...!!
post #8 of 19


That is brilliant!!!!!
post #9 of 19
LMAO I love it!
post #10 of 19
I love this. I can just picture Kitty behind the sofa scribbeling it down in his secret diary

It`s so true because my sister had to take her dog to the vets to get his paw re-dressed and he just walked in flopped over and stuck all his paws up in the air and wanted a cuddle from the nurse! Going to the vet is his favourite thing!
post #11 of 19
I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.
post #12 of 19
I had to resurrect this thread because I was chatting with my mom about the difference between cats and dogs (they have a toy poodle), and I remembered reading this. Gotta send it to her!

Laurie
post #13 of 19
Oh that is hilarious! Love the part: The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. Going to be laughing all day!
post #14 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katz4Life View Post
Oh that is hilarious! Love the part: The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. Going to be laughing all day!
Yup! That's the part that really sent me rolling!

Laurie
post #15 of 19
Brilliant
post #16 of 19
That is still one of the funniest piecs of pet humor! I think that this is the link to that one and others[url="![URL="http://http://www.pawsperouspets.com/humor/index.shtml"]"]!
post #17 of 19
I've seein this so often, you'd think I'd be tired of it by now, but I'm not!!!
post #18 of 19
I love it!! I had to send it on to some friends
post #19 of 19
That was too funny! I loved it!
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