Help! My wife's cat hates me!

krum

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I'm sorry some of you folks have obviously taken my post out of context and blown it out of proportion. Perhaps I should made a better choice of words. I never threw the cat across the room like a baseball or threw him into the wall. Yes, I tossed him on a couch underhand and I assure you that he wasn't hurt. I'd never throw an animal like that.

Geeze. Never mind!
 

salemwitchchild

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HOW ABOUT NOT FREAKIN THROWING HIM!

I'm sorry but that is just abuse. No wonder he doesnt want anything to do with you. He associates pain with your hands. And how about not calling the cat "IT".
 

gingersmom

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No wonder he hates you - sorry about the rough welcome, but you just can't throw pets across the room as a form of discipline.

The best thing I can suggest to you is that you start trying to associate your hands with something that is GOOD, like treats that he enjoys.

However, because you have already severely traumatized him, I can't guarantee that this would work for you.

Is there anyone else that can care for the cat while your wife is away?
 

graciecat

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Originally Posted by SalemWitchChild

HOW ABOUT NOT FREAKIN THROWING HIM!

I'm sorry but that is just abuse. No wonder he doesnt want anything to do with you. He associates pain with your hands. And how about not calling the cat "IT".
You took the words right out of my mouth.
 

goldenkitty45

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My ex husband told me his story about throwing a cat against the wall AFTER we got married! If I was told that before, I'd have never married him. I get very defensive and have little sympothy when someon abuses an animal.

I told my ex if he EVER laid a hand on one of my cats like that - he'd be out the door so fast he would not know what happened!

The cat is smarter then you think. Do you honestly think that a child would have been ok around you if you had thrown them against the wall? Sorry but I think you should get some help in anger management. What does the cat have to do to make you want to throw him against the wall again if you get angry.

I wish I could talk to your wife. Do you hit or verbally abuse her? Its been proven that abusers start with defenseless animals in hurting them.

I sure hope the cat doesn't do anything while your wife is gone, because who knows what might happen the next time.

I think you have more serious issues then wanting to make friends with the cat you threw against the wall.
 

silentnate

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Originally Posted by SalemWitchChild

HOW ABOUT NOT FREAKIN THROWING HIM!

I'm sorry but that is just abuse. No wonder he doesnt want anything to do with you. He associates pain with your hands. And how about not calling the cat "IT".
I agree with this post 100%...

I also feel my 'Troll sensory powers' working overtime
 

carolpetunia

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I have not read your original post, so I've only gathered what must have happened, and I see that you are being taken soundly to task for it.

I'm afraid if I do read that post, I might not be able to write as civilly as I'd like to -- so let me say this first:

Although cats are extremely agile and usually (not always, but usually) "land on their feet," they are nonetheless much smaller than we are. Their bones are more delicate, their brains are less well-protected from trauma, and their internal organs are more easily ruptured.

Their psyches are also extremely delicate. It's part of their survival instinct to remember vividly every bad thing that happens to them, as a way of being prepared to keep it from happening again.

So when you traumatize a cat, you traumatize him for life. If he is ever able to regain his trust in the human who hurt him, it is a remarkable feat... and he may become fearful of all humans.

Also, physical "discipline" simply doesn't work with cats. It may give you a cat that doesn't jump on the counter, or whatever crime it was this cat committed -- but it will also give you a cat who fears and avoids you, and possibly turns on you (with good reason).

So even just as a practical issue, it is wrong and foolish to do harm to a cat -- even the mildest type of harm.

And when you consider the moral issue, there is no way in the world to justify ever mishandling a cat. You weigh at least 15 times as much as the cat, and you have a human's ability to reason. You're supposed to know better ways of dealing with your anger than physically abusing a small animal.

I'm stating this in civil terms because I fear that the message may fall on deaf ears when it's stated as others have said it here, though goodness knows I certainly feel the same outrage. I hope my restraint makes it easier for you to listen with an open mind.

Please -- don't just go away mad. Think through what's been said here. Consider a change in your approach to this cat, and all cats. And although I don't know you, I suspect the same kind of change could help you with people, as well.

Thanks for reading. I dearly hope you will become a reformed and compassionate cat owner... and as such, you will be welcome on this site.
 

slipstream

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Imagine a 90 foot 2400 pound man tossing you down the street. To him it's just a light toss, I guarantee you'd be scared of giants after that!
 

catsallover

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Okay, I didn't get to read the original post, but I will give you credit for coming here and trying to fix whatever it was. Don't give up- just read around for a while, and maybe it will help. I figure that if you didn't care at least a little, you wouldn't have asked...You've gotten good advice though, so I hope it helps...

And if you have a bit of a sense of humor (and based on the responses I've read
)- perhaps you are feeling a little like the cat right now?
Good luck
.
 
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