I was taking a tour of the Kremlin when he was the boss. It was pointed out to us all the nuclear weapons they had pointed directly at the U.S. and other places. The guide also showed us the rooms with the buttons that would launch the missles. It was also pointed out that Boris had his quarters in this same building.
Somebody then asked, how far away is Boris' quarters from those buttons?
The guide looked at the person who asked the question and smiled and said:
Oh, about a bottle of vodka away.
I swear this is 100% true.