Booger (Rocki) is Going to her Permanent Home Tues

valanhb · Nov 16, 2002

Laurie, I think that would be the ideal. I'm sure being able to talk with her personally would probably alleviate fears you have about Boog's new home, as well as being able to really get the travel arrangements set up. Then you can also find out the answers to your questions that the adoption agency may or may not have asked.

It never hurts to ask.

ldg · Nov 18, 2002

Well, I asked Kathy (the Maine Coon Rescue coordinator) if it might be easier just to put Debbie (the adopter) and I in touch. Kathy e-mailed Debbie and "cc'd" me. I got an e-mail from Debbie earlier today.

It was a wonderful note! But it presents a whole new nest of problems.

Debbie wrote: Laurie, Actually weekends work best for me. It makes it easier as I don't have to try and work around my bosses schedule. However I will be there anytime you can get her here.

I am sure she will be very overwhelmed but I can
assure you I will do my best to put her at ease. Just to let you know the plan for her when she arrives:

She will spend the first couple of weeks alone with me in my bedroom until she shows me she is ready to brave the rest of the house (and the menagery that live there). This will be strictly up to Booger as I want to make sure she is secure and comfortable before I expose her to anymore. She will have windows to look out of, plenty of food and water at her disposal and her own litter box. She will have her choice of sleeping on the bed or anywhere else she so chooses. I am in the process of buying a bigger bed because frankly I am getting crowded out on my queen size bed now. Funny how animals are. They don't mind if you are crowded as long as they get a spot next to you. So between the dog, and 4 cats it gets pretty slim
pickin's unless I get there first.

Please let me know if there is anything else I need to get before her arrival so that she is more
comfortable.Is she only outside now or does she live inside with you and your husband? Is she litterbox trained? If so what type of litter are you using.

Debbie

I was led to believe that Boog was going to be the only cat - the only pet, in fact, for a woman who had a lot of experience in fostering.

But Maine Coon Rescue has clearly not got info straight - either to me or to Debbie! I couldn't have made it clearer to MCR that Boog is an outside cat and will need to be litterbox trained. She knew I wanted Boog to be in a one cat home.

I've got to follow my heart, right? Debbie sounds nice and considerate - if she didn't have a dog, I'd probably consider it. Boog gets along just fine with all the cats outside, so I'm not worried about her joining other cats. But she has been terrorized by the dogs that roam here (as have all the cats), so I am less than thrilled about sending her 3,500 miles to join a household that has a dog in it. If this were an emergency rescue situation, that would be one thing. But even though Boog lives outside - she's built for it! She's a MAINE COON cat. And we've created great shelters for them...

Gosh Darn it!!!!!!

Any thoughts? I could use some input. I've gone in too many circles about this now!

Laurie

hissy · Nov 18, 2002

Laurie,

I would keep looking as long as you have that time frame window open. I know you will find the right home for Boog- a one-cat household where she can be spoiled beyond belief.

okeefecl · Nov 18, 2002

I say follow your heart. If you decide to go with a person you are not 100% sure of, you'll never be happy with your decision. I'm sure the perfect situation is out there for Booger, you just haven't found it yet. I don't have to tell you that having companion animals is a big responsibility, and you have every right to back out if you think the foster situation is not a responsible one.

Oh, heck, what I'm trying to say is that it sounds to me like you are unhappy with this situation and don't want to send your Boog there. You have every right to back out if it feels wrong to you.

Hugs

Christy

ldg · Nov 18, 2002

Thank you so much. I'm just so...disappointed. And kind of mad, actually! I was tempted to write an emotional note. I'm having serious doubts about just what this MCR co-ordinator is doing, and I certainly don't trust her judgment any more. It seems like she's just not paying attention to what she's doing. But calm prevailed, and I THINK I made my problems known without directly insulting her....

Hi Kathy! Hate to be a pain in the a$$ all the time, but I got a really nice note from Debbie this morning. She addressed it to you too, so I
assume you've seen it. I was a little surprised (to say the least) when I got her note... I was under the impression that Booger was going to be
the only cat - the only pet. It wasn't clear - I thought maybe at most there was one other cat in the home. I feel really, really strange about sending Booger 3,500 miles away to a new home that has four other cats and a dog. Now that Booger gets along with the other kitties outside, I don't feel so uncomfortable knowing there will be other cats in the house, but..... a dog? I know many cats and dogs that get along just fine - but there are two dogs that roam this property, and they
terrorize the cats when they get the chance. I'm really less than thrilled about Booger joining a home with a dog.

If this were an emergency rescue situation, I'm sure I would feel differently. But she is happy here, even though she is not an inside cat. We have provided a warm shelter for the cats outside, and Booger is, after all, a Maine Coon - she's built to handle the cold weather.

Kathy, I have to follow my heart. Had I known that we were talking about adopting her to someone with so many pets already (including a dog), I'm quite sure we wouldn't have gotten this far along. I don't know what to say other than... I'm having very, very, very serious reservations. Debbie seems like a wonderful woman, but at this point in
time it's really got nothing to do with her at all. I have not written to Debbie, and I don't know what to do or say. I feel very uncomfortable. I hate to "undo" all the work you've done - but....somehow Debbie doesn't seem to know that Booger is an outside cat that will have to be trained to use the litterbox. Debbie seems fine if that's the case, but I'm still worried about the dog. If Debbie lived a 3 or 4 hour drive from here that would be one thing. If things didn't work out between Booger and the dog we could simply come get her. But this is an entirely different proposition.

Any thoughts about what I should do?

Thanks,

Laurie

So... I think I expressed my concerns about the lack of info, etc. without actually offending her.

We'll see.

Laurie

sammie5 · Nov 18, 2002

Laurie, I agree with what you have said to the MCR person. Booger is living in an acceptable situation with you - she has caregivers that love her, and she is being looked out for. And you will be able to keep her warm, fed, and happy during the winter. You are looking for a better situation. This does not sound better to me. I would think that Booger will be very stressed out with all of the changes, and will need someone to be with her during the day when she first gets to her new home. Do you want her to have to become an indoor only cat? Is that an improvement over what you have to offer her? I just have an awful feeling about her running away and becomine a stray cat again. I am sure that you are heart broken about all of this, but I am also sure that the right solution will come along. It seemed providential that the first arrangement for transportation did not work out. Thank goodness for your car problems!

Janet (Sam's Mom)

adymarie · Nov 19, 2002

Laurie - that was a well written message that should get your point across. The important thing is Boog and getting her the best possible home. Follow your heart.

valanhb · Nov 19, 2002

Gosh Laurie. It's a good thing that poor Boog doesn't know everything that's going on. I really feel for you and Debbie. I'm sure she will be heartbroken too if this doesn't work out. It does seem that she has no idea what the real situation with Boog is, though. Two hours is not going to be enough to get her used to a new person and new place. It could take weeks!

Hugs, some more, for you, Gary and Booger.

ldg · Nov 23, 2002

Well - who needs a soap opera when you have a Booger?

Really, this just gets weirder and weirder! Check this out:

Kathy, the Maine Coon Rescue Co-ordinator replied to my e-mail with this:
Remember when I said that sometimes I feel more comfortable doing things myself? And that I felt that no one could care for Booger like I can? Well, I have done a lot of thinking for the last few days, and have decided that I would like to
adopt Booger. I just feel that I would be the perfect home for her. Please consider letting me adopt her. We have several people in that area who could pick Booger up, and get her directly to me. I would be honored if you would let me
do that. Please let me know your thoughts. I also think, however, that Debbie would make a wonderful home for Boog. She's had many fosters, and several cats, and her dog is so "cat friendly." Please let me know what you would like me to do. Thanks.

I think I'm going nuts.

I hate to say it, but I'm really at a loss for what to do here. I'm rarely speachless (!) but this has achieved it. I don't know anything about Kathy or her home. Well - not nothing. I know she's a teacher, I know she has several kids - at least one of them a teen and at least one that is nine - I know it is ALWAYS nuts over at her house, because each time I speak with her it sounds like insanity is going on. I know she has at least one cat - but...?

And I am worried about Boog becoming a stray again. If I knew we were never leaving here, I wouldn't be looking for a home for her. But I know we're going to pack up the R.V. at SOME point in the future, so there will be no one here to take care of the furbabies outside. We pay someone to do it when we travel - but there's no way if we leave we can continue to do that, and even then there's no guarantee this woman would even bother. She doesn't much care for cats, so I wouldn't trust it.

I've contacted three no-kill shelters around here and three foster placement adoption organizations to help with the three outside kittens. The fourth will become a barn cat.

The sad thing is Gary just trapped another one - apparently 5 - 6 months old. She has only one kidney (genetic thing around here apparently). Docs say you just can't tell how she'll do, but there's no medication or anything she needs...

I wish I could win the lottery so we could just by a home around here, relocate all the outside furbabies and become a cat ranch!

But back to reality.... and I'm just at a loss. I feel tempted to lie to Kathy and to tell her we've found someone local after all - I don't want Boog moving into some insane asylum! I can ask the current agencies we're in touch with to help us with Boog too.

...or maybe I should just reply to Debbie's e-mail (the potential adopter in OR) and see what happens. And I guess I should write Kathy back and say... I don't know what. I just know that honesty, after all, is the best policy. But how to do that without offending her....

AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Not so speachless after all, hunh?

valanhb · Nov 23, 2002

You're right, this is a soap opera!

I don't know what to say, guess I'm speachless too! (Rarity at best!)

I guess what I think I would do is email Debbie and let her know your concerns - not that you don't want her to have Boog, but that these are the things that concern you about her situation. See what her response is. Then you can consider Kathy's offer if Debbie doesn't work out. Only consider one offer at a time. You'll go nuts if you think about more!

sammie5 · Nov 23, 2002

Laurie - how long are you planning to be ataying there?

If it were me, I would drop everything now, and wait for spring. This is an enormous muddle. If there were someone close by, you could check out the new home yourself.

Both Kathy(?) and Debbie seem like good choices, but they are so far away, and you don't really know anything for sure. I would think that Booger needs people around all the time - my worry would be that with an empty house for "home" she may wander off. She is used to having you keep tabs on her, where she is, what she is doing, and that for me would be a priority. And she obviously would like the option of being indoors once in a while.

Why not go back to what you originally looked for.

A home with no other pets. The "cat friendly" dog sounds good for the dog, but you don't know if Booger is "dog friendly" or might take off.

A home with an experienced foster parent. You do need someone who will know how to work with Booger to make her an indoor (mostly) cat, do you not?

And related to that, I would think that you would need someone who is around home at least as much as you and Gary are.

All of these arrangements offered to you sound pretty good on paper, but my question for all of them would be - will Booger just decide to fend for herself as a stray again if she is moved there. There doesn't seem to be much point in sending her all the way across the country if she will just end up on her own again.

And I may be missing the obvious, but if you are sending her all the way across the country, why not send her to Hissy? Then you would be sure that she would be looked after safely.

jeanie g. · Nov 23, 2002

Laurie, Many times I have heard you tell someone to "go with your heart," and that's my suggestion to you. I have been reading the thread, but have experience only with strays, not ferals, so I haven't posted. But I "feel" the fear in your posts. You are the kind of person who should meet the person who would take Rocki, and screen several. That's the way breeders decide whether or not to allow someone to buy one of their babies. Why should you, after all you've been through, accept anything less? I wish you and Rocki (Booger) the best!

ldg · Nov 23, 2002

Sammie5 and Jeanie - I think you both hit the nail on the head. I should just drop it for now. Love my Booger - and see what working with the local people turns up.

I have no idea when Gary and I will be on the road again. Certainly not until Spring at the earliest. So if worse comes to worst, IF Gary and I do have to hit the road and we haven't found a home for Boog, then I can talk to hissy about getting Boog to her out there. At least she'll be independent, loved and cared for there. It's really NOT a worst-case scenario!!!!

I appreciate all MCR has done, but in the end, Booger doesn't need to be "rescued." She needs a permanent home, and this isn't a desparate situation.

That is just great, straightfoward, simple advice.

Thank you so much. Somehow I'd gotten all twisted up over this - and it's the long distance and not meeting the people that's fouling it all up inside for me.

Thank you for helping to unlock that door that's been lurking around inside of me!

I feel SO much better already!

:tounge2:

ldg · Dec 5, 2002

Well, it's been in the single digits here each night for the last few nights. It snowed last week, and we have 8" on the ground now, and it's still snowing. All the outside cats disappeared after feeding them this morning (there was only about 1/2 an inch on the ground then). None have showed up for dinner.

Monday night Booger was scratching on the door to get in. But two of the inside cats are on antibiotics, and the last thing I want is for the cats to get each other sick. So we had to listen to Boog crying to get in. Even after going out to pet her... it was breaking our hearts.

So I wrote Debbie (the lady in Portland) a letter.

Debbie - I'm so sorry I never wrote back. I don't know if you've been contacted by Maine Coon Rescue or what they told you. I was sent into a bit of a shock when I got your e-mail. What I want to do is what's best for Boog. It's hard to let her go because I love her so much. She was my first cat, even though she's never really lived inside.

So here's her story. Right now, she's an outdoor kitty. I would like her to be an indoor cat - much safer for her. But she'll be unhappy at first, I'm sure of it - whether she flies cross country or not. She is Queen of the cats around here, definitely the alpha, and has a HUGE territory in which to run patrol. There are 240 acres here, and I'm pretty sure she sleeps in the barn about a half a mile from here. When she's within hearing distance, she RUNS when called. So I'm nervous about moving her inside. She is not in a desperate situation. We care for her, provide her shelter (which she doesn't use, but the other cats do),
and feed her as often as she wants to eat. It is very rare that she doesn't come by for a day, but it happens. Of course I get nervous...

Last Winter we had a bed for her inside, and she was welcome to come in. She would often sleep 10 - 14 hours, then she'd want to leave. She was far too independent for us to deal with turning her into an indoor cat - neither of us ever having had a cat before, and my husband having been a cat hater. And we live in a very small space, and I'm allergic to cats. (We live in an R.V. I included the link to the R.V. story for her).

BTW - our Vet says Boog is a Maine Coon pure bred. Now that I've learned so much about cats, she seems kind of small
to me to be pure bred - but she was definitely a stray, not a feral. When we took her to get spayed, the Vet said she had already HAD a "very expensive" spay job. Actually, the way he put it was "Someone didn't want this cat to get fat and lazy." When we asked what that meant, he explained that her whole reproductive system was removed as opposed to just her ovaries.????? Something like that. I think she was a pet that got out the door of someone staying here for a weekend or a
week (this is an R.V. Resort after all!), and they had to leave - and somehow she made it on her own that first Winter. We brought her in to the Vet last January, and they thought she was about 1 1/2 years old. But you're not allowed to have pets here - so how could they leave an "If found, please contact..." ?

Anyway, as soon as Spring came around, she was out the door. Actually she disappeared for a week (I freaked, of course), and came around irregularly. So she's a cat and she's got her things to do. She didn't want to be inside full time. Late summer, fall she started coming around every day again, and of course now she wants back in... but we just can't. We've rescued three other kittens who live inside with us full time. Our Booger/Rocki rescue story is here: Booger's Story . (In the story I had to say we got her spayed because I was limited to 500 words... the TCS people know the truth, as I"ve written about it in the actual forums (as opposed to in the essay contest - it's just more succinct and there wasn't room to expand!).

This summer a batch of kittens turned up in our yard. I joined TCS ( www.thecatsite.com/forums ), and was "talked into" feeding them, etc. We now essentially run a trap-neuter-release program here. I think we've had 17 adult cats spayed/neutered, and we've had all eight kittens spayed/neutered. The people who own this property think there are "100s" of wild cats living in the woods. At least we've made a small dent in the ongoing reproduction problem.

Anyway, Gary's had a lot of health problems the last year. But those are mostly behind us... so come Spring, we'll probably be hitting the road again. Which means I've got to find homes for all the kittens (which we've been working on anyway). We adopted three ourselves, and I take Zyrtec-D twice a day and have a steroid cream on had for when I break out in hives.
But having adopted these three means we can't adopt Booger. She's big, she's got long hair - and we just can't fit four. !!!!!

There was someone from Maine Coon rescue who joined The Cat Site, which is how I thought to contact MCR. Kathy was
assigned as the co-ordinator to help me place Booger. Kathy was great - and really worked hard. Since Booger isn't in a desparate rescue situation - she's warm and well cared for despite living primarily outside, I can afford to be choosey about where she goes. And I specifically said I wanted to find a home where she was either a lone cat or one of two cats, although we never even discussed the dog situation. It didn't really occur to me. Kathy came up with places in upstate NY, Alabama and TN - but she always gave me very little info about the situation. Then along comes Debbie. Who sounds wonderful! And we had communication problems on the shipping issue, so I asked Kathy just to put us directly in touch. And I get this wonderful e-mail from you! But you have so many other cats and a dog! The people who own this park have dogs (which is probably why they ban any visitors from having any pets) - but they let them run wild. And they terrorize the cats. So I wasn't worried about the dog being good with cats - I was worried about Boog not ever being comfortable with a dog around. And I'm still concerned about that.

So Debbie - I don't know what to do. You sound so wonderful and warm and loving - which is what I want for Booger. I really love her to pieces. But I'm really worried about her - both from a standpoint of fitting in with so many other cats - and about the dog. Here she is the Queen. She did NOT like the other kittens hanging around outside. It took her months to adjust to having them around. But now that she's the boss she's cool - but she is NOT friendly with them, does not hang out with them, and merely tolerates them.

So you see, when I received your e-mail, I was in quite a bit of a quandry. It wasn't the situation I'd expected, and I felt really weird about sending her 3,000 miles away to a home with so many other cats and a dog ---- and if she's not happy, then what? It's not like it's a three - four hour drive, and I can roll up there to pick her up and bring her back. And it's not
like she doesn't have a happy life here. And I'm not sure that even if we have to leave this Spring that she wouldn't be happier having a short life in her own territory than having a long life in a home where she's not the Queen.

But since you seem like a very thoughtful person, I just decided to follow the advice I give so many others on The Cat Site. Follow your heart. So here's my heart, I've poured it out to you... and I wonder what you think? I'm not opposed to sending Boog out to you.... I'm just worried as to whether or not she'd be happy. But I don't know you, your other cats or your dog.

So I hope my description of Booger and her life here help you. My goal is for you to help me make this decision. What's best for Booger? I'd love to see her in a permanent home. She LOVES being loved, and she is a lap kitty. Because we never clipped her claws (as she lives outside), I always kept a thick blanket around for when she came in. She'd always eat, then clean, then leap up onto my lap, where she could spend hours. She kneads (BIG -OUCH do those claws hurt - thus the big blanket) - and she drools, too. A lot. Another reason for the blanket. When I call her, she comes running, and leaps into my arms. I'm really at a loss for what to do, and I was hoping you'd both understand and help.

Thanks for all,

Laurie

ldg · Dec 5, 2002

...and this is Debbie's reply:

First let me apologize for taking all day to get back to you but I wanted to answer you when I had time to sit down and answer your questions and hopefully calm your fears and doubts.

I understand how frustrating it must be to have so much going on and the story not getting sent correctly.

Please know that I completely understand the depth of your love for Booger. These wonderful creatures come into our lives and fill them with love, laughter and fill a void that can't be filled by anything else. They give us humans the one thing we seem unable to give to each other and that is unconditional love and
ask for so little in return.

As for my home here let me share with you what the situation is. I do have a dog who is almost 11 yrs old. He probably won't be around much longer so each day with him is a gift from God. Bubba is a very layed back dog and very loving of his cats. He has raised my puppies and kittens and has more patience than any dog I have ever known. He was a good uncle to my puppies when I was breeding/showing/competing with my dogs. He now lives a life of quiet and
relaxation as he has earned by his many years of faithful companionship. He goes to work with me everyday when the weather permits and is very happy
just to be with me. Please believe me when I tell you he isn't the type of dog to terrorize a cat. It isn't in his nature. He usually sleeps most of the time now and does allow the cats to sleep on him, near him and gives them their space. If he weren't he wouldn't be living in the house.

As for the other cats they are fosters that I am trying to place in homes. I do have 2 cats that belong to me but they are older and sleep most of the
day and don't force themselves on the foster babies. If the cats for some reason don't get along my home is
big enough that I can seperate them and they still have plenty room to be themselves. I live on 20 acres on top of a mountain. There is no traffic here unless you are coming to my home as the
only way to get here is up my driveway with is 3/4 of a mile long. So if you come here you are either coming to see me or you are very lost because I am 5
miles from the closest road to get you somewhere aside from the mountain I live on. There is a large barn and lots of trees and it is very quiet here. That is one of the things I love the most is coming home from work to peace and quiet and watching the deer run and play in my pasture.

As for Booger, she will be allowed to come and go as she pleases with the exception that at night she must
come in. But in the winter she won't want to sleep out in the cold OR nights. She will have her choice of where she wants to sleep and I am sure with a
little help will get used to being inside during the night. She will have all the food she wants to eat, a
warm home to sleep in day or night and all the love she could ever hope for. I believe in letting them be themselves so she will be the boss of what she gets
and wants from me.

If for some strange reason and I really doubt that she would be unhappy here I would be glad to contact your friend and let her go live on her farm. My utmost
concern is that Booger is happy and well loved and cared for. In the end that is what really matters and there is more love than she could ever hope to have
here in my home.

I do need to ask if you can keep her for a couple of more weeks as I believe I will be traveling back to the East Coast on a business trip and would prefer to
have you ship her to me so that she can come home with me. I would feel much better if she was traveling inside the cabin of the plane with me than in baggage. I would like to lessen her stress of coming to a new home and at least let her know that she is safe and
with someone who cares for her as she is making the trip across country. The trip has yet to shape up completely so I am not sure where I will be for more
than a couple of days to have you ship her but will let you know as the trip gets finalized if this is acceptable with you.

Hopefully we can do this so that she comes to me at the airport when I am on the way home and can be with her all the way. I think this would lessen your
stress also as well as hers and mine.

I hope that I have been able to assure you that my home is the right place for her and that she will be well cared for and well loved. Please let me know if
you have any other questions or if I can help in any other way.

Debbie

So there you have it. She sounds wonderful, and so does her home.

!!!!!

Of course - the morning I wrote the note to Debbie I was contacted by someone who'd read about Booger here... so we'll see what happens.

I owe Debbie an answer, but I'll give it another day or so.

hissy · Dec 5, 2002

I would say that you got your answered prayer Laurie. If you like, and she approves, send me her address and Mike and I will go on a scenic drive and check her place out for you? Would you like us to do that? To me, this home sounds like a feral's dream come true.

valanhb · Dec 5, 2002

Laurie she sounds like a dream for Boog. That would be great if you could have Boog fly back with her in the cabin instead of as a shipment.

jeanie g. · Dec 5, 2002

Laurie, it sounds as though Rocki will be queen of the hill. I'm sure Debbie knows to keep her in for 2 or three weeks so that she knows that is home. You know how cats are; they like to go home when moved! This sounds great, and so does Debbie.

ldg · Dec 5, 2002

I'm so glad you agree! I thought it sounded wonderful for her. !

And Mary Anne - that is so kind. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the offer. But just knowing you're within driving distance is enough. If I need an emergency rescue (if Boog's not happy or something) - then I'll impose. But for now, like I said, just knowing you're only a few hours away is comfort enough.

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!!!!!

:tounge2:

ldg · Jan 2, 2003

Well, it's been a long time since November 10th, when I started this thread!

But many emotions later, Booger is just about on her way. Keep your fingers crossed!

She's at the Vet and boarded, health certificate waiting. With one day's notice, it turns out a friend of Debbie's (Booger's new mum) is flying from DC to Portland.

Thanks to TCS and the TCS Board Magic, Booger turned up at our door this evening.

We'll pick her up in the morning and drive her to Philly, where we are meeting Debbie's friend, who is catching a "red-eye" flight out. Hopefully the storm won't delay her flight. Things are already bad up here, and it was a tough drive just to make it to the Vet's. But we'll be on highways most of the time (once we pick Boog up and make it to the highway).

The next project is Munchkin, who we drive to Brooklyn on Saturday. She's going to our assitant, who rescued a declawed 2-year old kitty several months ago.

:tounge2:

Booger (Rocki) is Going to her Permanent Home Tues

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