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Southern Women

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
I got this in an email this morning, I thought it was pretty funny, and it is very true too.


SOUTHERN WOMEN
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
"Yes, ma'am."
"Yes, sir."
"Why, no, Billy!"

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"


Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The creek
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Red-eye gravy
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," . we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
_____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!

If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could
post #2 of 23
That's sho'nuff right!!!
post #3 of 23
EVERY single one of those is accurate EVERY single one!!!!!!! Me and Colin were laughing aobut those lol.
post #4 of 23
I just read them to my DH- so true!
post #5 of 23
Those are great!

Southerners also say, "Get a-holt of," as in "I tried to get a-holt of you."

Here in western Canada, people don't talk to each other while waiting in lines... maybe it's because they call it a "line-up"! And everyone wants to "swipe" your debit card - they aren't stealing it they just want to run it through the machine so you can pay.
post #6 of 23
They forgot to mention about Southern cawnbread -- I understand you put sugar in it down there!
post #7 of 23
We also know the difference between "drenchin" and "dredgin" - when we cook.
post #8 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
Those are great!

Southerners also say, "Get a-holt of," as in "I tried to get a-holt of you."

Here in western Canada, people don't talk to each other while waiting in lines... maybe it's because they call it a "line-up"! And everyone wants to "swipe" your debit card - they aren't stealing it they just want to run it through the machine so you can pay.
ah, that must be near the mason-dixon line. In the deeper south we say "I been tryin' to get up with you".
post #9 of 23
That is soooo true! That is a cute email!
post #10 of 23
That was a fun read. I don't know why but "the rivuh" makes me giggle.
post #11 of 23
Many of that IS true! I'm a little more southern then northern cause I was born in Maryland (dad's family was from Virginia) - so I grew up with more of the south culture.

I do use y'all VERY much. It's 2nd language to me Plus I really do love grits and hominy - DH never even heard of hominy!
post #12 of 23
Womenfrom the south are good folks! Usually pretty hot too.
post #13 of 23
Git-a holt of... LOL! I STILL say that.

And "fixin" and "y'all" ... my coworkers are always making fun of me. if I say "fixin'" over the radio... forget about it! I'll hear about it all day long!

"ohhhh my laaawd, did you see Bessie jus' bout had a conniption when I told her she had on the same dress as Deliah"

ROFL!

And Steel Magnolias.... speaks to my heart.
post #14 of 23
Sugar in cornbread?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's the most disgusting thing I ever tasted!!!!!!!!
post #15 of 23
Is where I'm from the South then... always was a hybrid.

In my house, you could say "Im a-gonna have a little lunch" which would sound strange to a family that wasn't half southern and half Minnesotan.

Except here I say surgur and I sure don't put it in my tea


And PLEASE somebody say they know what a shicane is (don't know how to spell it but when you're in line they're the things keeping you in line, like at King's Island or Six Flags)
post #16 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by davcat5 View Post
Sugar in cornbread?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's the most disgusting thing I ever tasted!!!!!!!!
don't dis cornbread until you've had my momma's every southern belle has a momma who makes "the best cornbread in the whole world" it's true! i'm not sure that mine puts sugar in hers but i know it's got buttermilk, flour,etc in it- it's AMAZINGNothing beats fried chicken and cornbread and sweet tea!!!
post #17 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR View Post
don't dis cornbread until you've had my momma's every southern belle has a momma who makes "the best cornbread in the whole world" it's true! i'm not sure that mine puts sugar in hers but i know it's got buttermilk, flour,etc in it- it's AMAZINGNothing beats fried chicken and cornbread and sweet tea!!!
Shaw 'nuff!!! Speaking of sweet tea, I had some FANTASTIC sweet tea today, made by the mother of one of my friends....ahhhh true southern sweet tea (umm actually sugar with tea on the side )
post #18 of 23
I eat taters and maters, sleep on pillers ner winders and go plum down yonder by the crick
post #19 of 23
I don't really care for cornbread; I didn't even eat it much at all (except to be polite) until this year (with lots of butter ), but I cook it for my DH. My DH (southern born and bred, with the grandmothers- and great grandmothers, and nice lil' ol' lady neighbors who always cooked for him) actually loves my cornbread (no sugar ). Not bad I guess for a "girl" who is half Tennessee, half Conneticut bred! He also likes my flour pepper gravy better than his, and he had to teach me how to make it when we got married . As for the rest of the stuff I cook ...he does like some of his veggies not cooked to death, now, though . I admit to loving the Martha White cornbread muffins (yes, with sugar ). That's what I've been eating when I cook him his cornbread .
post #20 of 23
I cook my veggies about til they turn brown and I like them like that.

As for cornbread, I buy that Jiffy mix at the store and add a few special things. For Thanksgiving I did lime zest and cranberries and it was nummy! And lots of butter. No sugar! That is weird to me too. Although apple butter is a different story.
post #21 of 23
Sugar goes in the tea, not the cornbread. It goes really well with rice and maters, smoked sausage, and greens. My SOs' grandma was born and raised in a small SC town, and she taught me to cook so her darling grandson wouldn't starve since she wasn't feeding him any more. Bless her heart! She took her biscuit recipe to the grave, but she did teach me to make a wonderful macaroni pie. (That's baked macaroni and cheese to y'all non Southern folks.)
post #22 of 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by krazy kat2 View Post
Sugar goes in the tea, not the cornbread.
No wonder it did sound strange! My dad always claimed that mac'n'cheese that wasn't baked wasn't mac'n'cheese. He would love your recipe!
post #23 of 23
What about red eye gravy,or green onions and lettuce with hot bacon grease poured over it?? Make ya tongue want ter slap yer brains out!! LOL
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