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can anyone shed light on the following please

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
as some of you will know i had posted recently about this.Anyway i feel totally in dispair.My partner and me have been together about 2.5yrs.We havent been getting on at all and its been really horrible here.he has been saying since jan he would leave and finally this week he said he would leave on sat.So i was-not happy but relieved so i can start getting on with my life and living again-he sends me a txt today saying he is not going tomorrow-Im fed up of this.he doesnt want to split but keeps saying he will let me have space and move out-with a iew to working things out-which i dont want.yet he wont move out and wont bother to come home or try as he keeps saying to work things out-I feel so fed up,confused and very very angry-I want him to go-Im thinking of packing his bags thos this is harsh i cant take this sub-life anymore.
If anyone can shed some light on this or simply advice.
Im seeing a good friend tomorrow night and that will help but just hate feeling this way
post #2 of 11
Everything will be ok! Life isn't always fair, I know, but just remember....it will get better and it will probably be better when he is out of the picture! If you need anything, you know we are here
post #3 of 11
I'm sorry that I must have missed your first post, so I'm not totally familiar with your situation, but my initial thought is: why can't you leave? Do you have to wait for him to take the initiative and do it? Why can't you take control of the situation and stop letting him force you to live an unhappy life? I know it's a whole lot easier said than done, but if I were you I'd seriously consider leaving rather than waiting on him to do it.
post #4 of 11
Thread Starter 
I know. it just so doesnt feel that way right now and am so tired of trying to be strong-sorry i know you mean well-just having one of those moments
post #5 of 11
Thread Starter 
I would be more than happy to and as im renting in london am planning to share a flat with a friend in mid june-rent and apartment deposits here are extortionate,but yes i would regardless of that except that I have PS Kittens 4 kittens and they are only 5 well nearly 6weeks old.Also-not that i care but it is all my furniture-tv etc and my neighbours- wonderful friends are "he should move..."which i guess is influencing me-moving would be ideal but is not so easy with 1 cat and 4 kittens plus to put together a huge deposit.I need to win the lottery or befriend Bill Gates
post #6 of 11
Thread Starter 
Had a very verbally abusive night-no sleep as usual and a neighbour was kind to talk with me and chill me out...cant go on.this is not right i know
post #7 of 11
Try to keep June in mind. You know you'll be out of the situation then, one way or the other... so hang onto that certainty.

Meanwhile... in order for the two of you to co-exist without pain until he moves out, you might suggest that you agree not to discuss your relationship anymore while you're living in the same apartment. This could give you both a break from the emotional turmoil, and that tends to lead to progress. Once you're no longer living together, you'll have better perspective on things, anyway.

I'm really sorry for how you're feeling... it's been a long time, but I've been there.
post #8 of 11
I've been there too.... it's been a while though admittedly, but here's what I'd say:

Pack his bags for him, otherwise he will never leave. If he thinks he can postpone it and postpone it, then you have to show him who wears the pants. The way I did it was that I gave my ex a week to pack up and leave. I went to live with my mother for that long, and told him that when I came back, he was not to be in the house. If he was, I was going to have him removed by the police. It was harsh, but after two months of postponing it, it was time to get tough.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through it too. You obviously don't want thimgs to be worked out, and he needs to know that in words that he understands. It's time for him to go hun.

Everything will be fine - it'll work out, you'll see. I hope you're feeling better soon
post #9 of 11
Thread Starter 
Hey tahnks all of you.It really helps too not feel alone.Have woken up-very late he is not here!I think I will pack bags.I dont want it to work out because his behaviour is horrible-disrespect to me,to everyone,constant drinking and so on.Anyyway today Is a new day and im seeing a friend of mine-i cant wait.She knows him so it will help to discuss a plan for this.
post #10 of 11
The drinking worries me... do you feel he could get violent with you? If so, maybe you should try to have someone else present when he comes home to find the bags packed...
post #11 of 11
I feel so fed up,confused and very very angry-I want him to go
For you to voice or write those thoughts out loud must mean you very fed up with the whole sistuation. And in a sence that answers your own question as to what you should do. Unfortuneately if you do not take the initiave and insist that he leave he could drag this out forever. Be Strong, put your foot down and be proud of yourself that you have the courage to make the change.
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