or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › I feel like an idiot...need to vent...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I feel like an idiot...need to vent...

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
I never told you all about this before because I am sure I should have SUCKER tattooed across my forehead.....but okay...I am just going to vent...I have to, it is driving me insane!

Last spring....I don't know the exact date....should have kept better records, I guess....I won a bid on e-bay, for a changing table ruffle...in the Blue Jean Teddy Bears theme. (the theme for Ambers nursery)

It was only 12 dollars, and I paid via paypal (credit card) and received the very lovely changing table ruffle....I just loved it!!!! (it is a ruffle that fits the top of a babies changing table...hard to explain)

Along with the ruffle, I received a nice printed out form letter, saying how this person also made other custom items, and this included a diaper pail cover out of the material of your choice, etc. etc...(there were several items listed) and she said if there was a specialty item (that wasn't listed) that I would be interested in having made, to please ask her, and she would see what she could do!!!

So like a complete trusting idiot...I e-mailed her, (this was outside of e-bay now) and asked her if she made curtains. I was just so impressed with the changing table ruffle she sent, and I loved the material, especially since it was in the Blue Jean Teddies, which was what I was doing her whole room in and I really wanted curtians made out of the same material in the same theme....and she seemed so professional in her letter (that was included with the ruffle, and in her e-mails, so I took a chance. STUPID..I guess. )

Anyway...she e-mailed me back, saying yes, she could make curtains...what size did I need?

So I had hubby measure both windows in the nursery, and i sent her the measurements. She then told me how much it would cost...it was close to 100 dollars for both windows.

I know that is a bit extravagent...but this is my only child, and so it meant alot to me, and seemed worth it.

So I said okay. She then instructed nme to pay her again by paypal (with my credit card)

I did.

This was back in March or April of last year. Before I even had the baby.

I kept waiting and waiting...and every time I would e-mail her, she would say she had been sick, or one of her kids had been sick, but she was desperatly trying to get the curtains done for me.

Then I heard nothing from her for several months...no replies to my e-mails....

Then she e-mailed me a few months later and said her and her son ( who she said was just a small child, can't remember the age) had been in a terrible car accident...and he had sustained some bad injuries, and she had been spending all her time at the hospital with him, and was so sorry she had not gotten the curtains to me yet.

I of course felt awful for doubting her when I heard this! I prayed for her son, and kept asking her through e-mail how he was....this went on for several months. She said he was in intensive care, and she was with him all the time so she had no time to complete her orders (including mine) But that she would get them done and sent out as soon as possible!

I of course told her to not worry about it...just to focus on her son, and my curtains could wait.

So more months passed and finally I asked....do you think I could get my curtains now? I hated to ask in light of all she had been through....I then received an e-mail from someone claiming to be this woman's good friend and she said she was answering Dawn's e-mails for her (Dawn is the name of the woman I am talking about) she said Dawn's son was still in the hospital and had alot of problems yet.

I felt so bad.....I told her to tell dawn I was thinking of her and her son...etc etc...

This "friend" of Dawns said she was going to ship out all of Dawn's orders for her, and that my order had been completed, so it would be shipped out as well.

So I waited....nothing.

After a few weeks I e-mailed Dawn again, and asked where the curtains were, because I didn't receive them....I saved the e-mail she sent me back....here it is...

Hi Debby,
Im so sorry for the delay in email, I have had such troubles as I had a friend do my shipments while my son was in the hospital. WELL for some reason many did not receive their packages AND I had to redo MANY orders, I am trying to get everything out, YES your packages was one of the packages, after I saw your email I new you did not get yours either, so I went ahead and remade more curtains, they are complete and so is the diaper pail cover, I will ship this out with other shipments tomorrow (Thursday)
Thank you for understanding. I also made you tie backs and sewed in plastic hoops for you to attach to the wall.
Im sure you will be pleased, they came out great (again!!!!)
Ahhh Im sooo tired, you should have seen the mess!!!
Well, back to work, please take care and email me when it arrives, so I know it got there this time.
Thanks so much!
God Bless

So of course I believed her...and felt bad for doubting her. (even though it has now been almost a year since I paid for them)

So I waited......STILL no curtains!!!! And her e-mail was sent to me on Oct. 23rd....I would have got them by now.....so........here is what I just now sent her.....

Dawn....I never received the curtains. I just don't know what to think anymore. I was so excited when I got your last e-mail, saying you had shipped them out.............I never got them. You said the curtains were originally shipped by your friend and never made it.....so you remade them and resent them.....I can understand them getting lost in the mail once....but twice?????????? Something is not right here.
I'm just not sure what.
I am still holding onto the belief that you are being honest with me, but all I know for sure is that I paid almost 100 dollars last spring for curtains/diaper pail cover that I have never received.
I am not judging you...maybe you really did remake them all and resend them....in which case, I feel as bad for you as I do for me, because that means you are out alot of money, just as I am.
I don't know what happened. All I know is I never got the stuff I paid for, and quite franky...at this point,,,,I don't expect I ever will.
I'm not the judge of what really happened. But God is...he knows. Only he knows for sure if I was scammed or not. Only he will be the judge.
If you remade the curtains and they were truley lost in the mail again, then I don't want you to remake them a 3rd time...that is too much money lost for you....I am not that cruel...but if you have scammed me.....shame on you. I truely trusted you. I just don't know what to think...I give up. I will go buy some curtains somewhere else and chalk it up to "live and learn"
I am just very hurt. Not just because of the money...but because I was starting to consider you a friend. I feel like I was taken advantage of.

Maybe that was harsh...maybe her son really was in the hospital...but my god, it has almost been a year since I paid for those curtains! I think I have been scammed!!!!!!!!!!

I ffel like such an idiot for trusting her!!!!! I just had a soft heart, and I felt so bad about her son being in the hosptial.....

I just needed to get this off my chest....thanks for letting me vent...I am pretty upset about it. On one hand....if her son really is in the hospital still and so very sick, and she remade he curtains and they got lost a second time....then I feel just horrible for doubting her, and for the last e-mail I just sent her (which I copied here just now) But if this is a scam...I have to stick up for myslef, even if it gets me nowhere.....

Thanks for listening.....I am at my wits end about this....never again....I will never buy anything from anyone over the internet unless it is directly from an e-bay auction.
post #2 of 16
Debby I have heard so many stories like this from people who continue to do business out of the realm of E-Bay and get stuck for their trouble. One gal I know lost almost $400.00 for some items because she kept trusting the hard luck stories being fed to her over and over again. She kept sending the money (oddly enough for a baby bassinette cover and blanket. The woman kept sending her photos of the "work in progress." Then once is was supposed to be shipped- nothing happened.

I am truly sorry that you have been taken advantage of like this. I don't know if there is any legal recourse you can take to recover the money. If the woman has a business out of her home you could contact BBB.
post #3 of 16
Debby, I am so sorry.

You can't help but be trusting. I am the same exact way. This sounds just about something that would happen to me. I just really don't believe that the curtains could have got lost in the mail for a second time. I really think the lady is giving you the big run around. I can just imagine how upset you are about the whole thing, especially since it was for Amber's nursery.

I have got taken advantage of so many times. I always thought that people are just as honest as I am. I guess not everyone is.

I hope you did get to find some curtains for the nursery. Maybe you could get a curtain pattern and make some yourself. They are really very easy to make. I made a pair a about 5 years ago for my spare bedroom. If I can remember correctly I think I saw the blue jean teddy bear material at WalMart not too long ago. You may want to check it out.
post #4 of 16
Oh Debby, your letter almost made me cry, I feel so bad for you. So many people go through this every day and it's so sad what people will do for an extra buck. If it was in fact a scam (which it probably was). Please don't stop trusting people but do be more careful next time. Good for you for hanging in so long, I would have given up far sooner than you. Better luck next time.
post #5 of 16
debby, don't feel bad. this sometimes happens. i have done business after auctions with just the seller and no problems. one time i sent a women $70 for curtains and got them! you just got a hold of a bad apple. is there anyway paypal can refund your money? and what was her feeback rating?
post #6 of 16
I hate to say this, but through bitter experience I trust nobody in a business transaction. It may be a bit harsh, but basically you need to work on the premise that people are going to rip you off. You don't have to be unpleasant to them, but quite firm about only giving small deposits and full payment on balance of goods etc.

Debby - it's happened to us all, and you're right, two packages not showing up is either very unlucky, or you are being rooked. You're not a a sucker, just a normal trusting person.

If you paid by credit card you maybe insured for non-delivery of goods by the card company - especially as you have the emails to prove you have been chasing this woman for delivery. You might be able to get the amount credited back to your account. Doesn't help none with not having the curtains though . . .
post #7 of 16
I would contact PayPal, if you can. I am sure they protect you against things like this. Perhaps the woman never had a son who was in an accident? Maybe it was made up?
post #8 of 16
Debby...don't be too hard on yourself. This type of thing happens to people all the time. As you yourself said...chalk it up to a "lesson learned".

Check out this link...they have valances in the Blue Jean Teddy Bear theme and they are only $22.50 each!

post #9 of 16
Thread Starter 
Carla!! Thanks for that link!!! I saved it to my favorites so that when I have more time I can go look at them!!!! Thank you!!!!!!

Haven't heard a reply to my last e-mail to that woman yet. I do have her phone number but I am just too nervous to call her I guess...I will wait and see...
post #10 of 16
Debby, Don't feel dumb. The word "con" comes from the word "confidence." These people are skilled at seeming to be completely trustworthy. I was conned out of a pick of the litter, show quality, champion sired collie pup out of a winning female. The young woman drove up in a new Trans Am and offered her credit card and all sorts of ID, so I took a check. Then she "mentioned" in passing that her husband had shrapnel near his heart that had never been removed. We sat at the kitchen table and had coffee and gabbed about puppy care. My daughter and I thoroughly enjoyed meeting her. But would I hold the check until Wednesday? She just paid $5,000 for new carpeting, and wanted to make sure her account was balanced correctly. I took a post dated check. Smart, huh?

Before I had a chance to deposit the check, surprise, surprise, her husband was rushed into the Cleveland Clinic for surgery. The shrapnel had dislodged and injured his heart. Weeks later he "died", and would I please give her time to grieve?--this from her "mother" and "sister" who had voices just like hers! Imagine that.

The magistrate thought I was cruel when I deposited the check three months later because I realized I had been conned. The last I heard, she was in prison for passing bad checks, and her husband was holding 5 people hostage until she would be released from prison. I got about $35 dollars back. I wrote to her in prison, and made numerous calls, and never could locate the puppy. That's the real tragedy. She was only 5 or 6 months old when I began the search.

I thought I had screened this woman extremely well. She was so interested in the welfare of the pup, called me the next morning to let me know how he did overnight, and asked and answered all the right questions. She also wanted to be informed of all the puppy matches the Collie Club had coming up, and how to become a member. She was slick. That was her job. I wonder if she sews curtains nowadays?
post #11 of 16
I had a smaller but similar ebay experience. I auctioned off an AbFab binder for $15, mostly to get rid of it, but I wanted it to go to someone who appreciated it, not just get lost somewhere in the bins at Sally Ann... The guy who bought it actually paid me through PayPal, but due to me being in Canada, I couldn't get such a small amount of money out of my Paypal account (I think the minimum was $100 for a foreign currency exchange), so I sent it back to his account and told him to send me a cheque. I sent off the binder and never got the cheque, and then the emails started bouncing. This guy must do this professionally or at least to someone more than me, I can't imagine going through all that trouble just to get for free a $15 slightly beat-up school binder with pictures of middleaged stoned women on the cover
post #12 of 16
Thread Starter 
OMG!!! Jeanie that is awful!!!!!! I think people who prey on the big hearts of others are just horrible!!!! We try to be nice decent caring people, and look what we get for it. It's so very sad.
post #13 of 16
Originally posted by Jeanie G.
I wonder if she sews curtains nowadays?
Your getting giggles out of me again Jeanie!

Debby, learn and move on. Yes you lost money, and you may "feel" like a fool. Isn't life a constant learning experience? If one were not learning from the experience of each day, what would life have to teach and why would one want that life?

And never feel ashamed because you gave her the benefit of the doubt. It would be a troubling society if everyone thought of the other person as one to watch out for.

Now, the next time someone advertises a home based business you will think twice, right? Always stick with your gut feeling - it can be your best indicator.

Also, I've never used paypal but I use to work for a credit card company. You can get the charge charged back to the merchant for non-receipt of goods. Check with the policies surround paypal.
post #14 of 16
Debby, I'm so sorry that this woman did this to you. It always amazes me when they go to so much trouble to scam someone. I mean, how long can it take to make some curtains compared with over a year of lying. It is amazing. If she does respond to you and says she sending the curtains again, tell her that you want her to send it FedEx or UPS so there is a tracking number. The other thing is, if there were 2 packages "lost" in the mail, she would have to have you confirm to the USPS that you did not receive the packages. I'm sure she would have made a claim if the curtains really cost $100. Yup, I think you were part of a con scheme.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Most people out there are honest, but there are some... They make it their job to find people who are trusting. Yola is right, though. Never pay for something you haven't received, especially if it is a private transaction. (Obviously Ebay works on the premise to pay before receiving, but in general that works.) I'm with Yola, if it has to do with business or money I don't trust anyone.
post #15 of 16
Thread Starter 
Yes, I have learned from this...but I just feel so stupid for letting her string me along for months and months...I was even praying for her son.
post #16 of 16
I would call this woman up & confront her, and tell her that you either want the curtains re-sent or have your money sent back to you.
Also, if she has an ebay account, I would see if you could leave negative feedback on her, this way others will also know.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › I feel like an idiot...need to vent...