want another cat; need help

Isn't this sorta like beating a dead horse? She's not going to get Cal fixed because "we might breed him some day, and not only that, we believe God made him that way for a reason and he's perfectly fine". Still telling her all the pros of neuter isn't going to make any difference since her mind is made up. My feeling is she's going to get another cat reguardless of the neuter issue.

wowza. The question WAS answered in so many ways. You asked about adding another cat and were told what would be in the best interests of both cats.

Could this person possibly be a man?

None of this really makes sense to me

Originally Posted by ChrissyR

Isn't this sorta like beating a dead horse? She's not going to get Cal fixed because "we might breed him some day, and not only that, we believe God made him that way for a reason and he's perfectly fine". Still telling her all the pros of neuter isn't going to make any difference since her mind is made up. My feeling is she's going to get another cat reguardless of the neuter issue.

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Yes, but she asked the question about which kind of cat she should get...and the answer is NONE until Cal is neutered.

Unfortunately, you're probably quite right. I'm hoping we haven't scared her off, as we only mean well and are speaking from combined decades of cat experience. Her experience with Cal is right on target with my experience with intact males, which is why I'm concerned that if she does go ahead with getting another kitty, that kitty will end up paying the ultimate price. I've seen it and heard of it dozens of times...it's simply a natural reality about intact males, and it's simply "how god made them". Of course, if the other cat they bring in is an intace male, Cal might ultimately end up injured or dead, and that's definitely not what the OP wants. If she gets an intact female she'll not only have catfights and spraying, but she'll also have literally DOZENS of kittens within a year (theycan't be weaned or rehomes until 10-12 weeks, and yet can breed as early as 16 weeks old, and I'm assuming she'll not fix any of those either), which I'm also pretty sure she doesn't want. It's simple advice, not us trying to beat her up or be mean. That's just what happens, and that can be verified just about anywhere.

I am concerned about Cal killing any new cat added to the household, whether the new cat is fixed or not. I've seen it happen before. It really isn't that far of a leap. Unfortunately....

Originally Posted by calcat

we might breed him some day

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A little off topic of original post, but unless he is a registered pedigree and you are a registered breeder you really shouldn't breed him 'some day'

While I realize my post sounded like she should go out and get another cat, i made sure to add most of mine grew up together and that's why we have harmony. I agree Cal can hurt another cat or be harmed himself if she decides to get another cat while he is unneutered. I have heard of it happening but never witnessed it. Her family could be hurt, too by the fighting specially if they decide to step in and break up a fight. My Grandma did that with her dogs and has never had use of her left hand since. I agree that I hope she wasn't scared off but sometime the truth is scary specially when you don't want to hear it.

Well, I certainly believe the OP has his/her mind made up about the neutering issue, and what a shame.

The only other thing that can be said, is that I hope and pray he/she does NOT bring any other cats into the home, altered or not. Bad news, there. Something tells me that he/she will go ahead and bring another cat home, despite the advice that has been given. It's one of those situations where the OP will only accept what he/she wants to hear...and if we don't accommodate that, then we are touted as "immature" and insensitive, and harsh, and whatever else. And then the point is completely lost...we are providing advice to him/her, because we CARE, and because we want to see the situation WORK if he/she does bring in another cat into his/her home.

And "breeding" the cat one day...more bad news. After just finishing an explanation of the cat overpopulation problem, this finally comes up. Please...Calcat, if you're reading, please do not breed Cal...we don't need any more kittens and cats ending up unwanted in shelters. There's too many already, and not enough homes. Now, if you decide to ever neuter Cal, then adopt a kitten or cat, and enjoy!!!

But for now, since Cal is intact, and is liable to stay that way, no more kitties, please. It's too risky.

As far as the TCS community goes, we're great people. And we're HONEST. While we're kind and respectful, we won't blow any sunshine where the sun doesn't shine, if you catch my drift. We advocate for the care and well-being of cats, and other animals, and we will call it like we see it if there's a situation that needs some attention...it's because we CARE, and want to make a difference for you and pets.

If you're still on, give us a chance...I don't think you'll find a better community of cat lovers than here. We simply tell the TRUTH, in hopes to help you avoid some potential heartache down the road...it's not because we're a bunch of bossy jerks.

Ultimately, we know you love Cal...I guess it's just going to be hard for many of us to understand the whole resistance to neuter him. But, it's your decision. I would just strongly encourage you to not get a second kitty while Cal is intact in your home.

Good thing because you have alot of growing up to do! Yeah breed him, I thought you said you weren't going to add to the overpopulation of cats? Backyard breeding... That's real responsible! Im sad to hear you say you are so educated when clearly you are not on this matter! Maybe you shouldn't post on a forum if you don't want legit and educational advise! I feel sorry for your pet and the decisions you have made for him in th future! You contradicted everything you said so please don't waste our time anymore either! Immature yeah ok... You're attitude represents that of a spoiled teenager who thinks they know everything. I doubt you are more than 18 at best! If you can't take the heat then get out of the kitchen! Im sorry if this is too harsh for you but don't pass character judgement on people who are trying to do best by you and your cat! Sorry you set me off when you got defensive about overpopulation but then just told us you plan to add to the problem in the future! You should not breed unless you have the proper education on genetics, etc and experience!

I couldn't struggle through this whole thread...but I can't understand how "it's nobody's business", after the situation has been laid out in the open on a public forum.

Yeah well if you read through the statements of the person who started the thread nothing makes common sense! Sorry I just think it was a waste of a thread for someone who had a question and despised the proper answers!

Too be honest I can't see how she is a responsible pet owner. Given that after all the advice she is still considering bringing another cat into the house regardless of the fact that either cat could be bullied silly and may even lose it's life. I find it completely irresponsible, medical knowledge, research or not. It would be cruel to put a female cat with an intact male or another male and just assume that it can work without taking the steps needed to make it harmonious. Unfortunately this could end up in a breed of kittens that are not wanted or a poor cat being put into an unhappy home where it will be bullied and then sent back to the shelter. Some people just shouldn't have cats. I wonder why the one they have is already so stand offish, maybe they should focus on some TLC for the one they already have.

Yeah she has no knowledge medically whether she claims so or not! I despise when people don't see their pets best interest at heart! She quit the thread because she knows what we are saying is legit... A vet would tell her the same thing! Wherever she is getting her medical knowledge and "research" is obviously not from a reliable source! People like that should not have pets... You can't fix ignorance unfortunatley... Poor kitty! I fear for the kitty she plans to introduce into her already unstable household... Maybe it is a lesson she needs to learn, unfortunatley it may be at the sacrifice of an innocent kitty!

Originally Posted by Althekitty

Too be honest I can't see how she is a responsible pet owner.

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I have to agree with this. It is not fair or responsible to bring another cat into a home with a whole male running around. If she wants to keep the male whole he needs to have his own room and not be allowed with other cats. But I also feel that is not fair to the whole male. Even breeders neuter their whole males after a few years so they can enjoy companionship.

First of all if he's not neutered you run the risk of him getting cancer (higher then if neutered). He might not spray right now, but sooner or later he WILL - and it will not be pleasant - he will ruin your clothes, wood floors, carpet, etc.

I strongly advise you to neuter him now before you consider bringing in any other cats - cause he probably will start spraying once you bring in another. He also could change his personality to a much more loving cat if neutered.

If you get another cat, have them spayed or neutered before you bring them home. Two unneutered males will fight and both will spray and you will have a lot more problems then you can imagine. Bringing home an unspayed female will cause him to want to breed her and then that is ALL he will want once he starts.

Unless he's a pedigree cat, show quality/worthy of breeding, then he should be neutered!

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

First of all if he's not neutered you run the risk of him getting cancer (higher then if neutered). He might not spray right now, but sooner or later he WILL - and it will not be pleasant - he will ruin your clothes, wood floors, carpet, etc.

I strongly advise you to neuter him now before you consider bringing in any other cats - cause he probably will start spraying once you bring in another. He also could change his personality to a much more loving cat if neutered.

If you get another cat, have them spayed or neutered before you bring them home. Two unneutered males will fight and both will spray and you will have a lot more problems then you can imagine. Bringing home an unspayed female will cause him to want to breed her and then that is ALL he will want once he starts.

Unless he's a pedigree cat, show quality/worthy of breeding, then he should be neutered!

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We all gave her this advise and she was very offended by it, told us we were immature, and insinuated that we were ignorant. She said she is going to a mature forum for the right answer... As helpful as your post is... She won't see it!

True, after reading the entire thread, I really feel sorry for the cat. Sometimes you meet people who claim they have SOOOO much knowledge (which maybe the poster has) but appsolutly NOOOOOOOOO common sense!

I can't get thru to some neighbors who have 4 mixed breed cats - 3 males and 1 female and NONE are spayed/neutered. They refuse to do anything about it. Then complain about the males peeing. If we have to drive them anywhere (they don't have a car) we have to put towels or a blanket in the seat of the car - their clothes reek of cat pee! And that stuff doesn't come off the seats in the car!

That is a bummer... Its a simple solution to a simple problem... It's sad that some people can't see the best interest for their pets!

Ok, I know this is definatly beating a dead horse, but what's a few more swings, eh?

Calcat, if you are reading, neutering does not make his personality fake, it just quiets him down a bit, hormonally. Without all that testostrone running through his body, his mind can concentrate on other things, like possibly becoming a little more loving. Trust me, neutering doesn't always make them cuddly. My fiance's cat, Dude, got neutered as an adult if I'm not mistaken. He doesn't spray but his personality did not change in the slightest. He is wary of newcomers but doesn't actually fight. He'll hiss and swing a paw if he's aggrivated, but that is like any cat and has nothing to do with being neutered. Other than his voice being a bit higher, he didn't change. Occasionally he'll get really lovey dovey towards everyone, but after an hour or so, he gets tired of it, and walks away, just like he's always been.m e

Yes, God gave him testicles, but that doesn't mean you have to keep them. He'll be much happier for it, trust me. All of my cats that I will ever own will be neutered or spayed, unless I get a purebred cat and start showing and breeding cats, which is likely to never happen. Its just RESPONSIBLE for me to neuter and spay my cats. You say your cat will never get out. What happens if you open your front door to answer it, and he just slips right by you because outside, there is a cat in heat. You NEVER KNOW what will happen, but you could prevent a lot of things by getting him neutered.

I liken the whole "changing his personality" issue to me taking Midol for PMS. It's not changing the personality so much, as getting the hormones under control so that the real personality can come though. And in both the case of tom cats and me, that's a good thing.

I doubt Calcat is visiting us anymore...pity, as he/she may have actually enjoyed TCS, had he/she kept his/her mind open a bit. We ARE NOT a bunch of bullies...we are animal lovers, and we support responsible pet ownership, which includes altering our pets. It's always what is best in the long-run, for a host of reasons, but apparently it isn't enough to persuade this particular poster.

As for the whole "changing Cal's personality" thing goes, it's just a really weak excuse to not do something that really needs to be done. People will sometimes invent all kinds of "reasons" for not doing things, and really, they're almost always lame excuses...some better than others.

There just isn't any reason or excuse great enough to deny your pets of more longevity, comfort, and happiness. It's a shame.