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Tricky situation..need advice

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Ok, so while I was on my trip in Febuary, I lent a person I considered a good friend, 50 bucks. I am struggling now because I am not receiving student loans anymore and I need the money back.

Since we got back, we've parted ways pretty much and are no longer friends but work together on the student council.

I've approached her on three seperate occassions to ask her if she could pay me back and she says ok, on friday...well 3 fridays have come and gone and it's been 2.5 months.

It feels weird to ask her again, but I really need the money. What do ya'll think I should do?
post #2 of 17
if things are tight then ask again. i know your not on such good terms now , but maybe explain to her that you have fallan on hard times , and you wouldnt normally keep asking but you really need it , maybe see if she can pay you half on friday and half the next?
post #3 of 17
You really can't physically force her to give you the money! You might have to cut your losses and not be so generous in the future! I have gone through this... In most cases i never saw the money again! It's a sad thing how people treat those that have lent them a hand... or money for that matter!
post #4 of 17
Been there done that - cut your losses is the ONLY advice.

And then: Never, ever lend money to a friend or family member without making them sign a promissory note. That is the only recourse you have if they reneg on a loan, no matter how small.

I loaned a friend $1,950 in an emergency situation, and they were angry because I made them sign a note, an actual promissory form (purchased at Staples.) However, because of that note, they paid me back within the specified time period. If it weren't for that note, they could have screwed me over and there wouldn't have been anything I could have done about it.

We are still good friends. Those few that I lent money to in the past without making sign a note, well, let me just say that those were a couple of expensive lessons learned.
post #5 of 17
Thread Starter 
That makes me so . Don't verbal contracts count anymore???

I actually need that money to help pay for a course so I can get summer employment. I just am really tight right now....I hate when people take advantage of other people.

It wouldn't be such a big deal, but with student loans being gone and I have travel expenses for student teaching (120 bucks plus clothing) and this course and a criminal record check for this job. Any money would help right now...*sigh*
post #6 of 17
Is there anything you could pawn off at the pawn shop? My mom would do this with her guitar until they could get the paycheck in to pay the bills. Sometimes she'd fall short because it was just my dad working. Once he got paid, she went back to the shop to get her guitar.
I am one of the few that when I tell you I will pay you back, I do. Sometimes you find out who your friends really are when you loan money. It's very unfortunate at times and I'm very sorry that this has happened to you.
post #7 of 17
Thread Starter 
You know another thing, this is the same person who said she questioned my character. I'm so sick of people lately.
post #8 of 17
On the rare occassion that I borrow money, I always pay it back. It's so rude to borrow money and not pay it back. Even just a couple of dollars. I don't know what people think.
post #9 of 17
IA with some others, chock this up to lessons learned. I've done the same thing and never got the $$ back. (no doubt I would have been a cheapskate if I didn't lend it). If nothing to pawn, maybe some of your good clothes you don't wear to a consignment type shop.
Where I live I take some of my daughters stuff, and i have the option of store credit or cash, cash is at a lower percentage but I don't buy from there, so no biggie.
post #10 of 17
Thread Starter 
I hate when I get upset, but I want to confront her about the situation and say "hey, I was nice enough to lend you the money, so the least you could do is pay me back when I'm in a financial tight spot, like you said you would. Enough forgetting, if you didn't have the money to pay me back, then you shouldn't have borrowed it in the first place."


Thanks for letting me vent cuz I'm super fusterated right now.
post #11 of 17
I think you are totally right to try again with that approach "i was nice enough to lend you money, could you be nice enough and pay me back?"

And then if that didn't work I would probably count my losses AND be a little Nasty by sending them an Invoice every week ~rofl~ but that is just me. Won't expect anything in return but HECK I would make them feel guilty.

I would also go with the pawn shop or second hand suggestion to get some quick cash. AVOID EBAY. I'm having a darn time of it trying to make a little extra cash because of the selling fees, paypal fees not to mention there are a lot of bad ebayer's out there who are total deadbeats about paying or paying on time so it's not reliable IMO.

Since it's spring could you offer services to help wash cars or groom or cut grass around where you live? Good luck!
post #12 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by trixie23 View Post
You really can't physically force her to give you the money! You might have to cut your losses and not be so generous in the future! I have gone through this... In most cases i never saw the money again! It's a sad thing how people treat those that have lent them a hand... or money for that matter!
I agree! It's a hard lesson to learn. You might ask her one more time, tell her you really need to be repaid for the loan, and remind her that karma has a way of taking care of things like that.
post #13 of 17
Thread Starter 
lol I like the sounds of a weekly invoice....

well I e-mailed her and asked her again and I'll see her tomorrow, so hopefully she will live up to it. I explained to her my situation and that I would greatly appreciate it if she could repay my favor.

I would be absolutely horrified and feel terrible if I ever did this to anyone. Heck, even if someone lends me a quarter for the meter, I pay them back.
post #14 of 17
NaaaaahhhhH!!! You guys are WAAAAY too passive.

each time you see her on the council, instead of saying "Hello!" say "Do you have my money?"

It'll become short of harassment, but she'll either stop coming to council (which then you can gossip about her questionable character) or finally pay up because either she does have a short term memory or she'll get sick of you saying that to her.

I do hate people like that though...they become so high maintenance.
post #15 of 17
I would also ask her one more time. Just be polite, but get to the point. Also, I would warn others you know and are close to you to never lend her any money so the same thing doesn't happen to them.
post #16 of 17
I usually just assume that money I lend isn't coming back. Less stress that way. I only lend money I can spare and to a select few. For example, my sister could use some help with rent this month. She says she'll pay me back. If she does, it'll be a nice surprise. If not, I don't really care, cuz she's my sister and she needs help. But, I otherwise don't lend money to anyone, cuz it makes me mad if they don't really need it (for example, one guy owed my bf $50 and wouldn't pay it, but spend every night at the bar, bought a new motorcycle and was always dressed in new designer labels.....I told bf not to lend it to him in the first place........).
post #17 of 17
I had a coworker lend me $40 last week because I really needed to see a doctor. I had forgotten my wallet, checkbook, everything at home. I had a purse, but nothing in it. I got home in time to stop by the bank and paid her back the very next day. I would be so annoyed at myself if I didn't. I always keep my word because I know what it is like to need the money in return.
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