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I think I met my first bridezilla!

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
Last night we were at a friend's house celebrating her brithday. One of her friends is getting married this year.

The birthday girl is going to be a bridesmaid for the bride-to-be. Last night the bride-to-be gave the bridesmaid her packet of information which consisted of a folder with 3 page print outs and other information (i.e. the magnets with the wedding date etc).

anyways birthday girl was a little too partied to read it all, so she said she would read it later. Once the bride-to-be left for the night, the rest of us girls pounced on the folder looking to see what she was planning.

OK, the page print out was CRAZY! There was an entire section dedicated to what shoes the bridesmaids could wear. No open toe, too-high of heel or too low, and I forget the rest. Then....this was the best part. She typed "If you are unsure if the shoes will work for my wedding, please take a picture of them and send the picture to me. I will approve or disapprove of the shoes".

Then the other part about the bridesmaids dresses was pretty nuts too. Basically they can only buy them at 1 of 2 stores in the area...no where else. She's afraid that the color may be slightly off elsewhere and doesn't want that to ruin her wedding photos.

The second page consisted of "required" and "optional" places that the bridesmaids had to be (shower #1, shower #2, bachelorette party in Vegas, THE WEDDING).

The last page was a copy and paste of simple do's and don'ts for bridesmaids...like something you would see out of a magazine that some one didn't know. Like "Remember to smile at all times during the wedding." etc.

Can we say Psycho??
post #2 of 25
Sounds like the wedding I was in last November!! I was the Maid-of-Honor (Why? I still don't know!) She actually BOUGHT our shoes so they all would match and made us all have our hair done exactly the same way!! She even bought our jewelry, we couldn't wear anything that the other bridesmaids weren't wearing!! Sheesh!

Some people are nuts!
post #3 of 25
Thread Starter 
Oh yes!!!!

I forgot about the part for hair. Apparently they are allowed to go get it done on their own (day of the wedding) and she will provide photos of how the hair should be done. OOOOOORRRRRR they can just go with her. Hmmm...if she were that nuts, I'll just book the appointment at the same place that day.
post #4 of 25
Every wedding I have been in has had a required dress (ONE dress sold at ONE store) and shoes (ONE pair picked at ONE store). And usually the brides gave us matching jewelry as our bridesmaids gift at the bridesmaids luncheon so that we had matching jewelry. I guess all my friends are bridezillas LOL!!
post #5 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by lunasmom View Post
Oh yes!!!!

I forgot about the part for hair. Apparently they are allowed to go get it done on their own (day of the wedding) and she will provide photos of how the hair should be done. OOOOOORRRRRR they can just go with her. Hmmm...if she were that nuts, I'll just book the appointment at the same place that day.
Yeah I know what you mean, we all had to go together to get ours done too....so she could approve! I hated being in that wedding! My husband and her husband are best friends, but she and I aren't really all that close. I never understood why I was the Maid (or matron I guess) of honor in the first place. I was SO glad when it was over!

I wasn't the least bit like that with my wedding, so I don't understand girls like that!
post #6 of 25
Wow... nuts. When all is said in done, you're not going to remember little mundane details like what shoes your bridesmaid's wore and anything like that. If someone isn't smiling in your picture, it's not the end of the world. My wife's grandfather wasn't even looking at the camera and had a scowl on his face. We laugh at it!

TWO showers? So people have to buy twice as many gifts or what is that about?
post #7 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReesesPBC View Post
Wow... nuts. When all is said in done, you're not going to remember little mundane details like what shoes your bridesmaid's wore and anything like that. If someone isn't smiling in your picture, it's not the end of the world. My wife's grandfather wasn't even looking at the camera and had a scowl on his face. We laugh at it!

TWO showers? So people have to buy twice as many gifts or what is that about?

My MIL wasn't smiling in any of our pics either, but thats a whole other thread!
post #8 of 25
I don't think that is too bad at all. As a friend, I would like to make sure my friends have the best possible wedding and if I didn't want that, then I wouldn't agree to be a bridesmaid. PLus some people honestly don't have know how things go because they haven't been apart of a wedding party before.


All my girls bought the same dress at the same store and wore the same shoes, had their hair done the same, and same jewelery. I also had two showers. One for my side of the family and one for Dh's side of the family because my parents, family, and friends live 7 hours from me and Dh's family and friends live 3 hours away.
post #9 of 25
It seems to me that the whole industry that has grown up around weddings is to blame for creating this absurd idea that the wedding should be a fabulous production, a Technicolor Cinemascope SurroundSound epic whose primary purpose is to impress everybody.

But once upon a time, wasn't the whole point of a wedding simply to bring your loved ones together to witness and share in the traditional rituals that celebrate your decision to commit your lives to one another? It's fine to make a wedding lovely, if you can afford it... as long as the trappings don't make you lose sight of the meaning of the thing.

If I ever get married again, though, I expect a huge crowd -- because it will be a certified MIRACLE!
post #10 of 25
eh i dont see the whole hoopla.

but your talking to someone who had one brides made.and a maid of honor..told them what color to wear..any style..any shade..and my maid of honor wore..those..crocs for her shoes..

So..lol
post #11 of 25
Golllyyyyy!!!! I let my bridesmaids choose whatever they wanted in the way of shoes and dress. I just wanted them in the same dress as each other, and similar colour shoes. So they went off together and got something they both liked that was comfortable. The dresses we paid for, the shoes they paid for, and ended up just getting the same shoes as each other to make it easier.

I told them to have their hair done however they wanted, and to wear whatever jewelry they wanted. If you can't trust your bridesmaids to make sensible decisions, they shouldn't be your bridesmaids.

They looked gorgeous, and honestly? They were a lot more stressed about it than I was

I don't understand bridezillas, the day is about fun and happiness, if you start ordering everyone around, it'll show and it won't be as fun!
post #12 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
If I ever get married again, though, I expect a huge crowd -- because it will be a certified MIRACLE!
Same here If I ever get married, everyone I have ever known will show up just to see it actually happen. If that amazing day ever comes, it will be in a park or the redwoods complete with picnic atmosphere. I am so not into the whole formal thing.

For those who are, it can be lovely. I just could never handle the stress or the financial aspect.

I was MoH twice (same friend) and she divorced both times Caught bouquet both times, still single!
post #13 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScamperFarms View Post
..and my maid of honor wore..those..crocs for her shoes..

So..lol
Oh that's great!!
post #14 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie1965 View Post
Oh that's great!!
Yup. she was worried i would hate them. i said..Pfft wear whats comfortable. I dont care!

We got married on the top of a waterfall...and i didnt want her to slip..so that was a good choice for her
post #15 of 25
when my SO cousion got married his niece was a bridesmaid , the bride to be even told her what nickers she HAD to wear. im getting married in july and i dont care what they turn up in , all i have said as long as its a lilic colour i dont mind what shade, they can have there hair as they like ( 2 are my girls so i chose there stuff lol) but my sister (maid of houner) is doing hers , her way. and iv not gone mad over any thing yet!!!!!! lol
post #16 of 25
Quote:
the bride to be even told her what nickers she HAD to wear
That's a bridezilla!

Some uniformity is to be expected in the bridal party's clothing. Now if bride declared that all hair was to be dyed the same color, and everyone the same height, weight...

And dictating where the showers and other parties are to be held?

Check out www.etiquettehell.com for bridezilla and other stories. One bride even got huffy that one of her maids got pregnant and would be showing by the time of the wedding.
post #17 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemlady View Post
One bride even got huffy that one of her maids got pregnant and would be showing by the time of the wedding.
Wow, just wow!
post #18 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by gemlady View Post
That's a bridezilla!

Some uniformity is to be expected in the bridal party's clothing. Now if bride declared that all hair was to be dyed the same color, and everyone the same height, weight...

And dictating where the showers and other parties are to be held?

Check out www.etiquettehell.com for bridezilla and other stories. One bride even got huffy that one of her maids got pregnant and would be showing by the time of the wedding.
As I was planning my wedding (prior to our elopement) my SIL called me and said that she'd have to pull out of my wedding. I asked her why, and she said she was pregnant with my neice! I told her that I would have NO problems under the sun with her showing at my wedding. In fact, we'd pick out a wonderful dress to show off her belly.

Some women are scary when they get married.
post #19 of 25
Anything like that would drive me nuts! Our wedding was very informal, we specified no dress code, just wear what you usually feel comfy in, and most of our friends turned up in jeans. I had to make Nate take his baseball cap off for the legal necessities in the registry office (he threw it to the crowd as if it were a bouquet )

We had to abandon the wedding picnic because of rain, so went to the pub, then Nate and most of our guests got lost on the way to the reception (I swear Nate could get lost on his way to the bathroom) and found themselves on the bus that goes the long way round with a bottle of tequila and a bottle of whiskey. Someone had a chopping board, limes, and salt and they all had tequila slammers on the bus. Later on we had a handfasting conducted by my brother which was fantastic we had our hands tied together and jumped a broomstick, and then a friend DJd for us at our local pub and we all got drunk.

No white dresses, no bridesmaids, no dressing up, no posh shoes, matching hair, etc. And we had a lovely and very memorable day. I really couldn't have done it any other way, it would really have driven me insane.
post #20 of 25
Thread Starter 
Yikes, OK I guess this person has a mild case.

Part of the reason for the drama I guess was that the bridesmaid really doesn't want to be a bridesmaid. Her husband and her were struggling for a long time and have been recovering from past bills for the last year.

To me it was the "send picture of shoes" bit that threw me and actually approving or disapproving. The way it was set up was more military then anything.

I guess, really, I'm glad that I've never had to be in a wedding party.
post #21 of 25
I don't have a problem with things being organised and wanting uniformity and symmetry in the bridal party. Even being a bit fussy and wanting things just so is ok - it's your wedding after all, different to just a normal party.

But when women get princessy, throw little tantrums (or big ones), give instructions - instructions! - to people who are supposed to be their best friends, and act basically like spoiled control freaks as if their wedding is the be-all and end-all of the universe, I just find it repellant and pathetic.

I was in no way a bridezilla and I made sure I wasn't. I didn't want people saying about me afterwards, `Oh, she was a b**tch but that's ok, she's a bride'. It's not ok, it's not ok to behave in a way that makes people feel bad and as though they can't possibly upset you in any way. There was no way I was having my bridesmaids or family tiptoe around me just because I was getting married for goodness sake! All the hoopla is just outrageous and what's worse, is that women think they can get away with behaving however they want to when they are getting married. Like they're unveiling their new cure for HIV and a guaranteed solution to global warming.

IMO, if you have friends, family and goodness knows who else running around for you to make what is really your day and not theirs special, then you have a responsibility to be as charming, warm and lovely to them as possible. Respect is what it boils down to, just plain old respect.

And two showers??? My goodness. I had a hen's night and a bridal shower (it's called a kitchen tea here) and I changed mine to a baking tea. I asked people not to bring gifts, but instead to write out their most favourite recipes for me, so I would have a part of all of my friends and family and could think of them when I was cooking for my new husband and myself. It was lovely! We asked for no gifts for our wedding, either. A token is one thing, being just plain greedy is something else.

I had a very traditional, `white' wedding, but I was nice the whole way through it and I didn't ask people to spend a fortune on me, either. Now that I am getting married for the second time, we had an engagement party but that was to celebrate. We asked people not to give us gifts and, if they insisted, to please make a donation to a nominated charity in lieu of a gift. We have everything we need, there's no need to add to it!
post #22 of 25
Weddings bring out a completely different side of people! I don't think I was too bad when planning my wedding, but you would have to ask my bridesmaids about that.

I did buy their jewerly, but that is expected in my area. They had matching dresses but the only thing I said about shoes was I wanted them black. I figured everyone had a pair of black heels...now, I don't know how I would have reacted if one of them showed up in black reebocks! They could do their hair however they wanted, but I have been in weddings where the hairstyle is specified and that never bothered me. As long as they didn't require it to be cut or colored it was fine.

Now, the whole itinerary and the lesson on what is expected of bridemaids...that is over the top!
post #23 of 25
Makes me glad that Scott and I are eloping.....now that everyone knows the date though, I think a reception is in the works for when we come home
post #24 of 25
*laugh* Wow, she's something else. I have the same dress for my girls, but I bought them for them... and I did ask that they wear black shoes, but I don't really care what kind, just whatever they are comfortable in. And I only asked for black because white wouldn't really look good with these dresses.

Other than that, whatever they want for jewelry, hair, makeup, ect. What is funny is both my Mom and FMIL are both worried about what they are going to wear. So we're all going shopping together on Saturday to figure it out.
post #25 of 25
Weddings are waayyy over-rated in terms of importance! Is anyone gonna want to be in or come to a wedding for a bridezilla? I sure wouldn't!
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