still problems with cat and new kitten

Hi again everyone,

I'm still having problems helping my cat (kitcat, female 3yrs old ) and my new kitten (Dom, male now 16 weeks old ) to get used to each other. Kitcat still hisses and growls at Dom and he tends to run after her if he gets a chance, he's very curious about her and is dying to get near her, she doesn't like this at all, she runs away, hisses and growls. I've tried lots of the suggestions that I've read here, things are slightly better but still not good!!
I've tried rubbing them both with the same towel but only a couple of times, would it help to do this every day
I'm beginning to think that they will never get on, any more suggestions or encouragement please!
Many thanks.

Hi domino,
I'm definitely not an expert, but I can tell you my experience with my 2 cats.

I got Mina who was 7 weeks old when my older cat Aidan was 1 year. I know the age difference is different with your cats, but Aidan did NOT like Mina AT ALL for about 3 or 4 months. Mina was her happy little kitten self and would come bounding up to Aidan, who was in a little ball with his ears backwards, doing his low growling. Most of the time, he swatted at her, though never hurting her. Not those fast swipes, but more "leave me alone". I would watch them to make sure it didn't get nasty.

I would try to feed them at the same time, so they sort of associated a happy thing with each other. Tried to give them both attention, etc., especially to Aidan, since he was the older one that might have felt like he was being replaced. In any case, one day magically, it all stopped. By the time Mina was 6 months and I took her to the vet to be spayed, Aidan meowed and meowed in each room while she stayed the night at the vet. :angel2: They are the best of friends now, and lick each other's heads.

I have always had a little pecking order dispute, every time I bring a new cat into the house. Fred is top cat, and lets everyone know it. After they realize this, he is the most loving Papa cat ever. My 2 girls are gong through this right now, but are beginning to play and chase each other, instead of one terrorizing the other. Both are rescues, and one is just now beginning to trust us, even though we have had her for 2 years. It will work out. Mostly they just make a lot of noise and wear your nerves thin during the adjustment period.

We just brought in a new kitten (Munchkin), and we have two boys who are a little over six months old. They've worked things out - but there was a lot of growling and hissing the first few days. We introduced her slowly the first day. Since we don't have a separate room, we bought a large dog crate and made her a small room. They got used to each others' smells - but our alpha would hunker down, ears back and growl at her. When he walked away, we heaped praise on him, to let him know he's still loved.

When we first let her out, the two boys just sat and stared at her. Of course, she wanted to play with them. They would stand up and bat at her head - the "I'm Your King" kind of thing. We never interfered until the alpha jumped her - and even then we didn't interfere until there was some squealing.

But each time he displayed dominance without resulting in her squealing, we heaped praise on him and gave him treats (but he's treat motivated).

We made sure to always give the two boys attention first whenever we come in. We put the boys food down first, and prevent her from heading over there to eat out of their bowls. Once they've started eating, we put her bowl down next to theirs and let her eat.

She eats more often than they do, being a little kitten, so each time we feed her, we give them some treats.

After two days, they were strutting around like normal again - tails in air. Each time they walk by, I send a stroke down their backs. And while we do play with Munchkin, she's just as happy playing by herself. So for the first few days - I don't want to say we ignored her - but we sure didn't fuss over her (and boy is THAT hard - she's so darn cute!).

Fuss over your alpha kitty, and don't fuss as much over your new kitty. Heap praise on your alpha each time he displays dominance without hurting your newbie, and see if that helps. She's scared of the big boy! I'm not sure if any of this will help, because we had the opposite problem. She wanted to play with them, and they just found her annoying.

Our little Munchie now romps and "attacks" the boys, and when they "attack" back, she rolls over and "gives." It took her a few days to figure it out, but now they're all friends. Apparently this process can take quite some time, so just hang in there! Just let your boy check her out. Unless he's hurting her, I suggest not interfering. She'll learn he's boss but not a threat, and she'll come around eventually.

Hi everyone,

thanks for your replies, they were all encouraging, i think probably things will work out in time,it just seems to be taking a long time!!
I can't wait for the day when they do eventually start to get along!
thanks again,
Pam.

When my first kitten Rocket was 10 months old, I got one of his littermates to be a buddy for him. It must have taken them two months to figure out who was going to be top cat. I thought I was going to die first! They fought all the time. (Not full force, but you could tell they meant business.) My first kitty was not used to being rubbed on by other cats. He still doesn't like it. The new kitty was very affectionate. I think this started a lot of tiffs between them.

Later I ended up with another kitten. He was also very affectionate. He got along great with my second kitty. My first cat would just tolerate him.

Now, it seems that roles have reversed! They used to let the kitten get away with everything, but now I can see how they push back on him more and expect him to act like an adult cat! He still loves to tussle, but now cat 2 doesn't like him jumping on her. Maybe b/c he's finally catchin up in size? If he cuddles up with anyone, it is my first cat, Rocket. The kitten will come up to him and lay his head down so he can be groomed. He is so cute!

Good luck with your kitties!

Hang in there!! When I introduced a 4 mos old rescued female to my 6 yr old male it took a long time before they could even tolerate each other. We had them separated for the first 4 months except for an hour or 2 a day & gradually we extended their time together. After 4 months they finally were amicable enough with each other that we let roam around freely. We have had Rusty & Jinxy for 11 months & they still fight occassionally, usually at feeding time. I know it can be frustrating at times but hang in there--it will get better. There were times when I thought that they would never get along...ever! I always make sure to give them both equal amounts of attention & I try to play with them at the same time so they associate a fun activity with each other. Good luck!!