Re-building lost bond

Breif history:
Kitty was my only cat who I got as a stray 3 years ago. It took a long time as he was nervous and untrusting but we had a great bond until almost 3 weeks ago when I took in anouther cat.
I took it really slow, used Feliway difusser and spray, new cat had own room, they had about 4 face to face meetings that lasted about 2 minutes each.
Kitty became more distant so I stopped the intro`s. He was spending more time outside and with a neighbour.

He was still affectionate though and spent most of last saturday cuddled on sofa with me. Then sunday he came in and I noticed a big lump on his back. We have since been to the vet and it was an abcess from a bite wound. ( I have seen a new cat in our back garden and wonder if they fought over territory? )

Anyway, since sunday Kitty has only come home for food, about 4 times a day. He doesn`t come when I call, he hates for me to stroke him, he no longer rubs round me, looks at me with big black eyes and walks away if I approach him.

Three nights ago I moved the new cat out of the flat to try and encourage him back in as I need to give him anti-biotics. This has made no difference.

I know he goes to a neighbour and I think thats ok as long as he doesn`t feed him. If he stopped letting him in I think he would go elsewhere instead of coming home and he is safe there.

When I`d moved the other cat out I tried locking the catflap after he came in for supper. It was aweful. After 6 hours of no sleep because he was just going mental I let him back out.

Do you think he associates being bitten with the new cat and that`s why he wont come home? He acts like he really hates me and the sudden change in him is heartbreaking.

What can I do to encourage him back? I`ve tried tasty treats but as soon as he`s finnished eating he goes straight away. I`m guessing it will take a long time but do you think he will ever trust me again?
I`m heartbroken and he must be pretty unhappy too.

So sorry, but then it's so hard to understand why you just let all your pets outside so much - don't get me wrong, I sometimes feel awful, guilty, etc. for not letting mine be out whenever they want, but it's like little kids who want what's not necessarily good for them, you have to be firm (with yourself too!). Our urban world is not the same as their world was thousands of years ago and is just so dangerous now - even in the country there are dogs and cars and chemicals around. If you can keep him inside, the awful intro. period of the cats will work itself out unless one becomes really predatory and doesn't let up, but give it time (weeks) and give them both lots of attention.

I think you are right Linda, it will take a bit longer.

His world has been a bit upside down, so he just needs to get back into a routine with you again

Another thing is the weather has been really good, which does of course encourage them to stay out more than usual, I know I hardly seen mine in the summer months, except feeding times

Just carry on with all that TLC you've been giving him and things will soon settle - might not be completely as before but he will still love you

Originally Posted by mooficat

I think you are right Linda, it will take a bit longer.

His world has been a bit upside down, so he just needs to get back into a routine with you again

Another thing is the weather has been really good, which does of course encourage them to stay out more than usual, I know I hardly seen mine in the summer months, except feeding times

Just carry on with all that TLC you've been giving him and things will soon settle - might not be completely as before but he will still love you

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Thanks for your support Ann
He has been in a few times today. He is ruled by his stomach!
I`m trying not to make too much of a fuss when he comes in as when I do he just goes out again. This is going to be very slow I think!