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Cat Haikus

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then --
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds --
your foot just squashed one.

You're always typing.
Well, let's see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What's a 'term paper?'

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes,
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, poop! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams;
My claws are not that sharp.
post #2 of 16
I'm having a bath,
but I cannot reach my bum
Oh Squee, come help me.

post #3 of 16
Those are good Let me try one:


You sit petting me
I have had enough of this
Release SBD's

post #4 of 16
Those are such fun! Let me try some too...


Why? 'Cause I'm hungry!
Yes, I know what time it is,
But I can't open cans.

I know you're in that room.
Why can't I be too?
Meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow!

What crash? No, not me.
I wasn't in the kitchen.
Must have been the dog.

Why do you insist
on this hugging thing?
Puh-lease! I just had my bath.

First one in the box!
Ahhhh. I love the smell
Of litter in the morning!
post #5 of 16
these are great!!

Pile of fresh laundry?
this will make the perfect bed
Fur all over the clothes

What do you mean the
couch is not my personal
designer scratch post.

let us go downstairs
winding between Meowmy's legs
what does tripping mean?
post #6 of 16
Those are great!!
post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 
You guys have some good ones. Just FYI, the original list is not mine. I don't think I'm very good at haikus.
post #8 of 16
hilarious!! I can relate to all of them. My husband says someday I am going to be that weird cat lady at the end of the street that all of the kids are afraid of. hahaha!
post #9 of 16
Oh I love these! "Behold, elevator butt!" I like it! Heheheheheh
post #10 of 16
Very funny! Takes a certain talent to come up with these!
post #11 of 16
These are totally brilliant - you are all so talented!!!

Don't forget the original Cat Haiku -

Lick sleep meow purr sleep
Eat lick meow sleep eat lick sleep
Purr sleep meow eat lick

post #12 of 16
These are so fantastic!
post #13 of 16

These are funny! More! More!
post #14 of 16
Scooby dooby do
My entire world is you, yes
Cat, oh cat my heart

Eight legs, running, fast!
This way, hurry, faster still!
Was that your face, hmm?

Eat some kibble now
Wash face next to new MacBook
Vomit, oh too close!

Race madly through house
Reverse, run up wall, run down
Darn! Cling-on still there!

"elevator-butt" is my all-time favorite cat haiku.
I had to look this up but here's the rule:
First line must be five syllables
Second line must be seven syllable
Third line must be five syllables
post #15 of 16
Somone at work once sent me hysterically funny cat haikus. I wish I could find them to post. My faves went something like this: (may or may not follow the rules of haiku--my memory is fuzzy on the actual poems:

It is not true that cats
Can steal the breath of children
But if my tail is pulled once more
I can learn how. (My favorite!!!!)

Locked in the closet, alone
Crying for help
For once, I need you.

So, you call that my cat carrier?
Well, I call these my "The blades of death."

post #16 of 16
Originally Posted by 4BadCats View Post
Lick sleep meow purr sleep
Eat lick meow sleep eat lick sleep
Purr sleep meow eat lick
Oh, that's perfect!

Yes, the traditional Japanese haiku is 5-7-5, as Pat said. I had a teacher in school who used variations, though, so I checked up... apparently, Americans are well-known for abandoning tradition and writing however we darn well please! That figures, hm?
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