Weddings Rant

We are still paying off our own wedding from last year, and we have 3 other weddings to contribute to this summer.

DH is the best man and I am a bridesmaid in one wedding, and DH is a groomsman in the other two. I have figured out that we could do a lot with the money we are supposed to spend on these weddings:

3 tux rentals: approximately $350
1 bridesmaid dress: $110
6 gifts (includes 1 engagement party and 2 shower gifts): $300
3 bachelor parties: approximately $300
Gas and tolls to NY state: approximately $100
Time off work: unknown $

I know we should have expected this when we agreed to be part of these weddings, but I wish everything wasn't so expensive!

Yes, weddings do become very expensive.

My poor mom helped us pay for a lot of our wedding, plus my dad bought my dress and then mom had to pay for my sister's dresses (3 of them). Thank goodness my mom is a smart shopper, because we had a beautiful wedding for less than 8 or 9 thousand dollars total.

I totally understand. I was a bridesmaid a few years ago. Between the dress, showers, bachelorette party, travel expenses....several hundred dollars. And you know what's sad? They just got divorced! I want my money back, LOL.

Originally Posted by whuckleberry

I totally understand. I was a bridesmaid a few years ago. Between the dress, showers, bachelorette party, travel expenses....several hundred dollars. And you know what's sad? They just got divorced! I want my money back, LOL.

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Oh no!

I wish I could at least wear the dress again but I don't like it much so I don't think I will. In my wedding I tried to find an inexpensive dress that everyone liked and could wear again.

Originally Posted by Jenny82

Oh no!

I wish I could at least wear the dress again but I don't like it much so I don't think I will. In my wedding I tried to find an inexpensive dress that everyone liked and could wear again.

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Whenever John & I get married, I'm definately going to try to find a cheaper dress that the ladies can wear again!

I'm sorry your having to deal with this! Sending hugs to you

Originally Posted by babyharley

Whenever John & I get married, I'm definately going to try to find a cheaper dress that the ladies can wear again!

I'm sorry your having to deal with this! Sending hugs to you

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Thanks!
I do feel better after complaining about it.

Sorry to hear that The tux rentals seem expensive. I think when I got married the rentals for my groomsmen were maybe $75? I of course got a free one

I've always thought the idea of the bridesmaids having to pay for their dresses while the grooms could rent was rediculous.

When I got married my wife's parents paid for just about everything, and my parents paid for the band. The band was my uncle's so we got a discount anyway. We only paid for the rings and the wedding dress, unless I'm forgetting something... *lol*

Originally Posted by Jenny82

I know we should have expected this when we agreed to be part of these weddings, but I wish everything wasn't so expensive!

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I totally understand. I agreed to be in a friend's wedding who was doing it herself and way underestimated how much it really cost to be a part!

Thankfully the family weddings I have been in aren't too much on my part, since dress/shoes/hair/etc. has been paid for and I really enjoyed being a part of their wedding anyway so being a big part wasn’t a problem. There will be more to come too.

My husband's family is seemingly always having a wedding we have to travel too, in fact there is one next month. That can get expensive with the travel costs. But family weddings are special and important IMO.
I know a few family traveled to our wedding and considered their presence our present (not the majority, but two in particular). We don't do that, as we feel traveling is our choice, not their "gift" from us

I've been lucky in dodging in being in any sort of wedding parties to date. However, my sister winds up in them and always complains too. The last party she was a part of the wedding was in CO, but the bride wanted to have her bachelorette party in New Orleans and a trip to MI for the bridal shower. My sister of course had to back out of NO.

Originally Posted by Jenny82

Thanks!
I do feel better after complaining about it.

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Thats what we're here for!

Weddings are ridiculously expensive. When we got married we paid half on the bridesmaid dresses to try to help out, but we ended up being strapped to. One thing you could do with your bridesmaid dress if you're never going to wear it again is sell it on ebay. Spring is the best time because of other weddings and proms coming up. Just an idea.

I know everyone is different but I could never expect groomsmen/bridemaids/bestmen and other people helping to make MY wedding day a success to contribute financially. I understand it works differently for others. But I couldnt do that.

If they wanted to give a gift and/or chip in to pay for a batchelor/hen party, thats cool...but I wouldnt make them pay for their clothes, flowers, hair make up etc.

Im just surprised when you say 'I know we should have expected this when we agreed to be part of these weddings'. I didnt realise such financial contribution was the norm? Or is it the norm?

I think everyone ought to elope, and go on the honeymoon at the same time.

well, around here, it's the norm that the bridal party pays for their own clothes.

Originally Posted by minxie

I know everyone is different but I could never expect groomsmen/bridemaids/bestmen and other people helping to make MY wedding day a success to contribute financially. I understand it works differently for others. But I couldnt do that.

If they wanted to give a gift and/or chip in to pay for a batchelor/hen party, thats cool...but I wouldnt make them pay for their clothes, flowers, hair make up etc.

Im just surprised when you say 'I know we should have expected this when we agreed to be part of these weddings'. I didnt realise such financial contribution was the norm? Or is it the norm?

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Around here it's the norm for the wedding party to pay for their own clothes & hair. We paid for flowers and everyone did their own make-up.

Originally Posted by ReesesPBC

Sorry to hear that

The tux rentals seem expensive. I think when I got married the rentals for my groomsmen were maybe $75? I of course got a free one

I've always thought the idea of the bridesmaids having to pay for their dresses while the grooms could rent was rediculous.

When I got married my wife's parents paid for just about everything, and my parents paid for the band. The band was my uncle's so we got a discount anyway. We only paid for the rings and the wedding dress, unless I'm forgetting something... *lol*

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In my experience, renting a tux around here is about the same price as buying a dress...a little over $100.

We are lucky because my parents paid for the reception hall and catering (the largest expense) but we paid for just about everything else for the wedding, including the honeymoon.

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

I think everyone ought to elope, and go on the honeymoon at the same time.

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We really thought about doing that, but I'm glad we didn't. It was really nice to have all of our family and friends with us, and memorable too. We can go on trips just the two of us pretty much anytime. However it is a good choice for some people, especially if you don't like your family.

It does get expensive and fast. That is why I am going to have a small wedding with dresses that are nice but were found on sale (they have some good ones around prom season) and My sis and best friend (the girls I want as brides maids) don't have to wear the same dresses. I want it to b e fun not stressful.

I think it's also a little much to be expected to buy a gift for an engagement party, bridal shower, and the wedding for the same person. My matron of honor did throw me a bridal shower but I never even thought of having an engagement party (no offense to those of you that did/are having one) .

DH and I paid for everything for our wedding. However, we stayed traditional with one thing - we did NOT pay for the bridesmaid dresses and tuxs for groomsmen. But, we compromised with them - they were allowed to wear any type, style of dress provided they were all the same color. We then paid for their hairstyling, makeup and flowers - that was our gift to them for standing up for us). We actually purchased the tuxes for the guys from a local shop, and that was their gift (which they loved cuz they now had a beautiful tux in their wardrobe).

It's damn expensive to get married (our reception alone cost us almost $20K) whether you're the bride and groom or someone who's standing up for them. Bottom line = if you can't afford to participate in a wedding, you must decline. If that's not an option, you gotta suck it up and put out the $.