Is my cat friendly?

miao_kitty

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Hi, So I know this is a very vague question and therefore will probably have a lot of different answers and opinions. As such, I'm looking to get just about as much advice as possible, personal experiences etc. that would help put me at ease.

My cat, Luna, is about 5 years old. I got her from the shelter because when we went in to visit her she jumped right into my lap and started purring. (Well, I definately had to adopt her then!!) So I brought her home and she didn't hide much (except at first) and she was very vocal to everyone in the house. Now i'm in a different place (been here for almost 2 years) with different roommates. I've had an assortment of roommates in the 3 years that i've had Luna. She used to be pretty relaxed around people and would always be in the same room that people were in. I started dating a guy back in June and then it seemed that her behavior changed. She is not into meeting new people now (usually slinks into the room but then runs away if anyone tries to pet her). she still is vocal and plays and snuggles with me, she even sleeps in the same bed as my boyfriend and I sometimes. However, he believes that even though he's nice to her that she doesn't like him. (sometimes she doesn't really want to be petted or runs away).

there have been some events in Luna's life that could have had an effect on her. I had to go away for 5 months, so I left her in the house I was living in w/ my same roommates. However (due to roommate conflicts) she had to move in w/ my mom after a couple months. (this change didn't seem to make her any more scared or antisocial). Also, I had a roommate who i once caught kicking her so I can't know for sure how many times that happened. Other more minor things may be factors, but i'd like to get opinions before i elaborate.

I have 2 questions: 1). what are the typical reasons why cats change their behavior? (other than illness, b/c I've taken her to the vet and she is fine, if a little overwieght, which i'm working on) and 2). Is there any way to make her more friendly in general or specifically more friendly to my boyfriend?

I really love my cat, and I want to make sure my boyfriend understands that or better yet...that he likes her too. =)

Thanks for reading and I aplogize for the length of the post!
 

kiva13

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Hi,
Does Luna like treats? If so, maybe your boyfriend can give her treats whenever he comes. Something she wouldn't get usually like real pieces of chicken or salmon or whatever she would love. Then she would associate him as being yummy!

Mimi
 

malena

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Also tell your boyfriend that it will take time and teach him some cat language like blinking slowly when looking at her and look another way when she gets close to let her explore him on her own.
I have had a few cats with bad experience of people from before I got them and they stayed suspicious of strangers for their entire life but could develop close relations with people who were around a lot. They tend to prefer people who are fairly calm and quiet though.
 

yayi

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Originally Posted by miao_kitty

I have 2 questions: 1). what are the typical reasons why cats change their behavior? (other than illness, b/c I've taken her to the vet and she is fine, if a little overwieght, which i'm working on) and 2). Is there any way to make her more friendly in general or specifically more friendly to my boyfriend?
1. The only other reason that can change cat behavior other than illness is a traumatic event like abuse. The cat may or may not overcome the bad experience. Time will tell.
2. I think Luna still mistrusts your bf because she's possessive of you. She tolerates him though but being petted by him will be only w/ her permission.
 

larke

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She looks to have a lot (if not all) of Russian Blue in her (I have a male) and they are known to be skittish (sometimes an understatement!) and a bit timid. That plus the changes that have taken place - having been kicked by someone(!), moving around, being a bit jealous of your boyfriend and possibly being a little leery of his big feet/shoes and voice, could have set off any cat, let alone her. All you both can do now is try to be gentle around her, without sudden moves or loud unexpected noises as much as possible and realize she may always seem a bit nervous. But do give her as much one-on-one attention as you can, don't necessarily try to force a friendship between her and your boyfriend (RB's are usually once-person cats anyway) and ask him to be slow and nice around her.
 

meow meow

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She probably feels that she gets all she needs from you so has no need to seek attention from him (this is pretty much how my cat acts to my husband). I think you should just be happy that she tolerates him and isn't scared or aggresive to him. I also say my kitty is a "one woman man" and that's me.
 

emmylou

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A new boyfriend means a lot of changes that may not be evident to you but can be felt by the cat -- new smells, new patterns and behaviors on your part. It's a disruption for the cat and it'll take her some time to readjust. And then the other disruptions over the past few months probably contributed.

I agree that it's a good idea for the boyfriend to give the cat treats; it might be helpful for you to stop giving treats for a while so that she only gets them from him. But he shouldn't push too hard or give her a lot of affection... if he gives her time and space and lets her finally come to him, that's a better recipe for bonding.
 
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