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black hole

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
i know most of you dont know me so well.I had a personal family tragedy recently and now am spilitting with long term botfriend-he is still a good friend and its the right thing-its what i want, but its tearing me apart.Not sounding corny-the only things keeping me going are the cat and kittens.Just feel crap and so alone.Im tring totake my own advice-as in what i say to other people but its just not happeneing anyay maybe im voicing off.If anyone feels the same pls let me know.
post #2 of 11
I am sorry that you are feeling down right now..Many hugs to you. Keep your chin up
post #3 of 11
Oh hon, I'm so sorry! Believe me, I think cats and kittens can heal the soul. TCS is here for you if you need to talk. Sending many your way.
post #4 of 11
I am sorry that you are having a hard time at the moment. Even if you know it is the right thing to do, splitting up with a long term partner is so hard and heartwrenching - you know it is for the best but your life is turned upside down right now. I have been through it myself - before I met my husband I lived with someone for 11 years and it does change your life when that is over and is so stressful even though you know that it would be no good to carry on in that relationship.

I wish you all the best - and loads of strength to get through all the changes in your life.

ETA: I didn't say it in my original post, but that ex is now my bestest mate. We have a great friendship and we were always far better as friends than as partners. It took some time after our split to get back to being friends, but with a bit of time it did happen.
post #5 of 11
Oh, gosh, I'm sorry you're in such a bad place right now. I did notice that your posts were veering from clever and cool to deep and emotional... which makes perfect sense for how you're feeling. It's so brave of you to come out here on the site and try to be helpful to others when you yourself are down! I admire you for that.

My best friend in the world is a man I lived with for four years. We always adored each other, but at some point, we realized it just wasn't meant to be a romance, so we parted in the most amicable of ways. I helped him move into a new place, working late into the night... and when I came home and saw the imprints in the carpet where all his things had been, I sat down on the floor and sobbed.

I knew it was the right thing for both of us, and that we'd both be happier in the long run... but the actual moment of the ripping asunder is just going to hurt, no way around it, y'know? It just does. So I understand what you're feeling.

Oh, I wish I had some magic words for you! But I think there's nothing to do but feel this way until you can stop feeling this way. That won't be long, though -- even tomorrow morning, you'll feel a little better than today, and better still the morning after that.

And what you're doing will help! By staying in touch with other people, even strangers -- maybe especially strangers -- you keep creating new places for your emotions to pour out, rather than letting them all stay concentrated on your own situation.

You'll get through this. Just keep on keepin' on.
post #6 of 11
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much guys for your kind words-would take ages to quote everyone-feel like everyth is crashing around me-i have a great evening with friends or just meet some great people and it goes sort of from bad to worst.Anyway am tring to keep up!!I dont want it to affect the kittens and he is a good man- I guess it will be ok one day-i think i need to get out with some friends.Its too long to describe here but you know that feeling of yr self confidence,feeling inadequete etc anyway THANK YOU ALL AGAIN.believe me we dont know each other but it feel so good knowing there is some suppport there.I feel so un confident about the future and worry that at 31 I will not meet someone and have family and so on-i know a fear of many-sorry im babbling
post #7 of 11
Hang in there!!!
You've got plenty of support here..besides some of us live on TCS (you know who you are oh and I'll take responsibility for being an addict) and love helping out and being good listeners!
post #8 of 11
I'm sorry to hear that your going through a rough time right now. Just remember that things always get better over time.
post #9 of 11
Thread Starter 
hey u guys are great and being strangers-no ofense meant it is so nice to have this-
FOR EPONA:yeah i can see this happening.i wanted the split so sounds contradictory however i guess i didnt want it like this-really upsetting each other and i want to be as we are.this was inevitable and is a good thing if done the right way but is just so hard right now-everyone sees us as the perfect couple too this does not help because were far from that and we seem to want to tear each other up each time were together.I want a peacefull life.Sorry im having a moan
post #10 of 11
I completely understand where you're coming from--with the long term bf split and wanting it but not wanting it. I just broke up with mine in January, but am still living with him (long story, posted a while ago, don't want to go into again). If you even need to talk, PM me. I really don't mind and sometimes it's good to talk to someone you don't really know.
post #11 of 11
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by pipersjo View Post
I completely understand where you're coming from--with the long term bf split and wanting it but not wanting it. I just broke up with mine in January, but am still living with him (long story, posted a while ago, don't want to go into again). If you even need to talk, PM me. I really don't mind and sometimes it's good to talk to someone you don't really know.
thanks 4 understanding-sorry you had that experience.there are days which are not so good and were still living together,planning the weekend and watching a film right now,but i guess since all this my confidence feels so low.Well im out with the girls tomor night and tho were living together still, i will keep my eye out on any cute guys.
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