Have you made enemies?

swampwitch

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
7,753
Purraise
158
Location
Tall Trees & Cold Seas Vancouver Island
I was wondering if anyone else has made enemies on forums, and if you'd share what happened and how you handled it. Twice (so far), someone has taken a dislike to me, even though I was never rude, and never attacked, or attacked back.

The first time it happened, I looked up more posts by the same person and saw that she was abusive to several people. Her responding posts to me were irrational and angry. I quit going to that site, even though I had made several friends who were like-minded.

The second time, I also checked the person's posts, and she was pretty decent to everyone else. But she followed me around, trying to discredit me every time I posted. I have had dozens of people PM me with support on that site, and a few have openly posted support, but I haven't decided whether or not to stick around there.

The first person didn't like my opinions, and the second didn't like the facts.

BTW, I'm not talking about TCS.

Has this happened to you?
 

starryeyedtiger

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 5, 2005
Messages
22,317
Purraise
20
Location
USA
Originally Posted by SwampWitch

I was wondering if anyone else has made enemies on forums, and if you'd share what happened and how you handled it. Twice (so far), someone has taken a dislike to me, even though I was never rude, and never attacked, or attacked back.

The first time it happened, I looked up more posts by the same person and saw that she was abusive to several people. Her responding posts to me were irrational and angry. I quit going to that site, even though I had made several friends who were like-minded.

The second time, I also checked the person's posts, and she was pretty decent to everyone else. But she followed me around, trying to discredit me every time I posted. I have had dozens of people PM me with support on that site, and a few have openly posted support, but I haven't decided whether or not to stick around there.

The first person didn't like my opinions, and the second didn't like the facts.

BTW, I'm not talking about TCS.

Has this happened to you?
This happened to me once- she sort of just attacked me out of the blue even though i was trying to be nice to her. So i sent her a private pm asking her if i had said anything to offend her and i appologized if i did. She responded back with a very nasty pm to which i reported to the mods of that site - at that point i blocked her and at least felt ok knowing i had tried to be nice to her. It stinks when that happens...but sometimes you can't control how other people are even when you're nice to them
 

cairo

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Apr 25, 2005
Messages
387
Purraise
1
Location
Falls Church, VA
Haha! I know exactly what you are talking about! I think the worst forums I was ever on was awhile back when I was planning my wedding, brides can be soooo catty. I was rarely the direct recipient of viciousness by other brides, but damn! It was like high-school level drama.

Upon entering the site you HAD to pick a clique, and people in some cliques were so rude to those in others. And if you didn't post in a bride's journal after she posted in yours, you could forget about her ever helping you out. It was pretty sick.

I remember one time I posted in my journal that I didn't want any orange flowers in my wedding, and a bride that had an orange-themed wedding took such a huge offense to it, that she made it her business to tear down every one of my helpful responses, and throw insults my way. It took me a few weeks to realize why she was so offended, and so I apologized if I had offended her about her theme color. She didn't know what to do with my apology, so she just reduced to bad-mouthing me in the chatroom and out of the forums.
 

dragoriana

MajesticFloof
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 20, 2006
Messages
4,092
Purraise
543
Not on forums, but on irc online chat. Too many long stories including meeting them in person. But i know if i came face to face with these people now i would beat the crap out of them (not very wiccan thing to say) they made enemies out of me.
 

theimp98

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 24, 2006
Messages
11,427
Purraise
2
Location
elyria, ohio
hmm i dont know, maybe maybe not. This being the internet and all, flaming comes with most forums you go to. the game board i mod we delete rude or posts that have nothing to do with the topic at hand.

I really dont pay much attention to posts that nasty about me. I could care less. or i may even get a kick out of it , if its a good flame on me. I do know and understand that that there will be some people who will dislike me, for what ever reason. from being male, white, a american to my views ETC.... nothing i can do about those, and i dont waste time with them.
 

lokismum

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 10, 2006
Messages
7,020
Purraise
10
Location
The North Pole!
I only belong to a few forums and haven't ever encountered this, but I have heard that it goes on. I think we are so very lucky here on TCS! It's such a great site and everyone is wonderful on here!
 

dragoriana

MajesticFloof
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 20, 2006
Messages
4,092
Purraise
543
Originally Posted by LokisMum

I only belong to a few forums and haven't ever encountered this, but I have heard that it goes on. I think we are so very lucky here on TCS! It's such a great site and everyone is wonderful on here!
that's because we are all crazy cat ladies and cannot fight when our laps are occupied
(oh and crazy cat men too)
 

berylayn

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
1,736
Purraise
1
Location
Aldie, Virginia
I agree, bridal forums are terrible!! One of the ones I went to shut down because it got so bad! Which sucked for those of us who had friends because it was really terrible trying to get back in touch!
 

chromodactyl

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Mar 17, 2007
Messages
563
Purraise
1
Location
London
I am a member of a joke forum -members are mostly men and they are so so so aggresive not like here.i have had no probs as they are more relaxed(a little) with women but you should see some of the posts they are really full on and abusive-vicious stuff
 

starryeyedtiger

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 5, 2005
Messages
22,317
Purraise
20
Location
USA
I have to add - one thing i love about TCS is- no matter what you argue/discuss -if it gets a little upsetting- all you have to do is post a picture of a cute kitty to cool everyone down
 

jean-ji

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Nov 23, 2005
Messages
1,040
Purraise
35
Location
Hudson Valley and SW Florida
I go on car forums and they can get nasty. Flaming is routine, and it is like there can only be one opinion and you best not disagree with them. I stay away from opinion threads and stick to informational/learning type threads. I don't see this as much on other forums I go to. The car forums tend to be more male and I try to keep an open mind about that, but it's hard not to stereotype.
I usually finish up my computer time with TCS, kind of like having a glass of milk before going to bed.
 

chromodactyl

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Mar 17, 2007
Messages
563
Purraise
1
Location
London
re your car forum sounds like the joke forum so iavoid opinions too-i just know i will get some freak responses.thats why its nice on here because everyone is so easy going and not abusive
 

marie-p

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 1, 2005
Messages
2,568
Purraise
1
Location
Unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the
Only on intense political forums (and I haven't frequented any lately). Lots of people called me a tree-hugging lesbian feminist hippie but I just laughed it off. It's pretty true anyways, except for the lesbian part, but it didn't offend me either.


But usually, I'm too invisible to make enemies
 

cairo

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Apr 25, 2005
Messages
387
Purraise
1
Location
Falls Church, VA
This is my favorite forum I frequent. I'd have to say what sets this one a part is the following:
> Well moderated.
> Lots of users, so you get answers quickly
> CATS!!!
 

dragoriana

MajesticFloof
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 20, 2006
Messages
4,092
Purraise
543
Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

I have to add - one thing i love about TCS is- no matter what you argue/discuss -if it gets a little upsetting- all you have to do is post a picture of a cute kitty to cool everyone down
I don't know what you mean..............









.....




....






 

lsulover

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 20, 2006
Messages
5,057
Purraise
1
Location
Columbia, Ms.
I have gotten upset on one of the race boards that I used to go to. There was this guy on there that was a horses behind. He said something to me one time and I got upset by it and he knew it too, but then a bunch of the other people that were there were upset with him because he had been ugly to me. That was the same board that I first met Neet.

But normally I get along with everyone, the other boards that I belonged to were not as big as this one, so everyone knew everyone better.

But I LOVE this site.
 

clairebear

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 17, 2006
Messages
1,541
Purraise
1
Location
Manchester, CT
I have gotten into a few disagreements online. Online forums are full of "know it alls" who think thier opinion is the only opinion that matters. Anyone else that comes up with a good point they try to discredit, so that thier view seems more important or right or whatever. I usually just state my opinion and ignore whatever they say.
 

natalie_ca

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 2, 2006
Messages
21,136
Purraise
223
Location
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Yes.
I don't let it bother me though.

I won't go into details in case one of those jerks happens to like cats and lurk here, but suffice it to say that there are a whole lot of really mentally disturbed people on the internet and I've run into some of them.

One of these people cost me a number of valued friendships, and a relationship with a guy that I loved very much, all because she was a master con person and highly convincing in her lies.

I've moved beyond it and removed myself from the situation by abandoning that community totally and moving onto other things that interest me.

As a result I'm happier and I'm doing things that I love and I'm not surrounded by negative energy and liars who are determined to try and hurt me for no other reason than they are jealous.

The internet is a fascinating thing. However, it also breeds a whole different type of bully. There are people in this world that are polite and considerate and kind in their daily lives, but they do a 180 degree turn on the internet and become school yard bullies, picking on those who they find will react to them, and those people end up being puppets with the griefer being the puppeteer.

My advice is to just ignore those who you don't get along with and pretend they don't exist. The problems they have are their own and nothing to do with you as a person because they don't know you. They are just sad, and unhappy and often depressed individuals who have to knock someone down in order to pick themselves up. And it's not isolated to any one community. It's all over the internet.
 

catsallover

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
2,194
Purraise
5
Location
Alabama
Originally Posted by jean-ji

I go on car forums and they can get nasty. Flaming is routine, and it is like there can only be one opinion and you best not disagree with them. I stay away from opinion threads and stick to informational/learning type threads. I don't see this as much on other forums I go to. The car forums tend to be more male and I try to keep an open mind about that, but it's hard not to stereotype.
I usually finish up my computer time with TCS, kind of like having a glass of milk before going to bed.
Oh I don't know about the car forums- my minivan forum is pretty tame!
.
 
Top