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Please Help me..I don't know what to do.

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Hello everyone,

I'm new here and I have a problem with my two cats Mocha and Chewy. This may be a little bit long, but if you can offer advice I would really appreciate it, because I'm very stressed out about this and almost in tears. Thanks.

Anyways..so my husband and I have had Mocha..our eldest..for 5 years, she's a female and we got her as an abused stray. She's great, a little quirky, but we love her. Last year we decided to share the love if you will and get another cat. Enter Chewy...2 yr old male, (he's now 3). From the beggining they never got along. We tried everything, seperating and introducing them slowly, did everything text book the way your supposed to introduce a new cat. Finally the fighting between them started to slow down, but than Mocha started using the floor as her litter box. We asked the vet what was going on. He said it was probably a cry for help, that she was upset by Chewy and scared of him. Just for reference...Chewy is 14 pds, Mocha is 9 so he outweighs her by quite alot.

Anyways, the vet recomended that we seperate them again and start the introduction process over. So we did, now a year later, they still do not get along. We seperate them in different rooms during the day when we are at work and let them out at night, when they are in the same area, Mocha will hide on top of the cabinet or fridge or under the kitchen table. Chewy will look for any oppurtunity to jump on her and start a fight. He's such a bully. Anyways, last night they had a particularly loud and upsetting tussle. I just don't know what to do anymore. Seperately they are both wonderful cats, Chewy is the biggest love he just purrs and purrs..but he bullies Mocha and that is not fair to her. It is also not fair for Chewy to be locked up all the time, even though we let him out at night, he needs constant attention and I think he gets lonely and cries at the door.

So today I was telling one of my friends about the tussle last night and she mentioned that her aunt was looking for a cat, which of course got me thinking. Should we give Chewy to her aunt, where he would get all the attention in the world and have a great home? I just don't know what to do. We love him, my husband especially and it'd be so sad to let go of such a great cat. SO please is you have any advise, let me know. Any tips to try to get them to get along would be very welcomed. Thanks so much for reading this through if you made it this far.
post #2 of 11
That's a really tough decision to make and I think probably you are the only one who can decide. I guess if they are both stressed out with the living arrangements maybe it would be best. I don't know really. Hopefully some people will give you their advice. But best of luck with it whatever you decide
post #3 of 11
First of all, I have a kitty named chewy his real name is chewbacca- but we call him chewy (how ironic)

second of all, if it was my kitty I would talk to the vet about it again... see what they say. after all of this time you would think they would be getting along.

third of all, I wish I knew what to tell you but I'm sure someone with more knowledge will come along and help you..

ooh oooh fourth of all, Welcome to TCS! I hope you enjoy your stay here as much as I do! I can't wait to see pics
post #4 of 11
I'm sorry to hear about your kitties, have you tried Feliway? It's a pheramone (sp.) spray or plug in that alot of people have had success with. There's also something called Rescue Remedy that may to help?
post #5 of 11
Thread Starter 
We spent a small fortune on feliway products, both the spray and plug in..it had not affect what so ever.
post #6 of 11
Originally Posted by lisaj180 View Post
We spent a small fortune on feliway products, both the spray and plug in..it had not affect what so ever.

sorry, that was my only idea

My only advice is to follow your heart and do what is best for your family and your cats
post #7 of 11
I agree with PHX's mommy. talk to the vet again. you won't feel right about giving up Chewy until you know in your heart you have tried everything. Max and Boo (my babies) never totally loved each other and tussled now and then but nothin major. they learned to cohabit. Seems like you are up against something a little bigger than that. Not sure if you have them in your area but maybe contact a vet that specializes only in cats. Hang in there and let us know how it goes.
post #8 of 11
Thread Starter 
I think for now we are going to continue what we are doing. I just don't have the heart to give up Chewy right now, I will if it is necessary, but I don't think its come to that yet. They haven't really hurt each other in their tussles, a few fur tufts, thats about it. Do you think it would be helpful if I switched they're spots?? For example, right now during the day we have Chewy in our bedroom and Mocha in the living room. (We basically live in a two room apt, so those are the only options.) Should we maybe put Mocha in the bedroom and Chewy in the livingroom, and switch things up? Or would that cause additional problems, you think?

Thanks for your responses.
post #9 of 11
Putting them in each other's rooms actually sounds like a good idea to me. Maybe they will get used to each other's smells better if you keep switching them up, also they might not feel like that is only their territory and not be so protective of it. I would try it. Sounds like anything might help!! Good luck!!
post #10 of 11
Hi I can really sympathise with your concerns. We have just taken in kitty No.4 Teddy who came to us as a stray - he gets on Okish with 2 of my cats, but the youngest Miss Moofi, he is always battling with her He hides from her, so he can jump on her, he wressles her to the ground and she ends up under him, theres no blood or fur but it sounds awful and of course I hate it that little Moofi gets all this aggro. Feeding time is a nightmare, most times we feed them seperately as Teddy will pinch her food.

At night he sleeps in our basement, which is another lounge really, so he is warm and has all he needs. This is the only time Moofi get peace, she sleeps with us and I dont want to spoil that special time for her

I have treid Feilway, not much difference really, we use a water spray when things are really bad and now if we just shake it he knows to back off, so that is our only method of controlling him. He was recently neutered and we hope that once the hormones are out of his system he might settle some more Otherwise he is a sweetie and very affectionate etc.

phew..........what can I say to help, well I am sorry not much, swapping rooms may help, I have only had Teddy about 8 weeks, so it is still very early days for us and I was interested to see your post and the replies. I wanted to let you know that theres someone else out there struggling with similar issues.

Good luck and I hope you can come to a solution that works for you all
post #11 of 11
I'm also a new cat owner and being that I've went through this when I got my cats last month, I clearly remember your frustration. I really do think you should switch rooms, with Tara and Frenchie I switched rooms everyday every thing in the room was the same (toys, carriers etc) except for the litter boxes (I was concerned that they might not use a litter box with the other cat's scent on it) it was exhauting but it paid off. I had also got the Feliway diffuser and I made sure to give each cat individual play/petting time. I started by feeding them their favorite treats on either side of the door and then putting one in a carrier and letting the other one loose and putting their treats right next to the carrier door. By the end of two weeks I was able to leave them home alone together and now the Feliway ran out a week ago and things are still good, they're not best buddies but we haven't had any actual fights (they're just still trying to figure out how to play with each other, since Tara will give Frenchie a playful pat but when Frenchie "hits" back, Tara's all upset and doesn't want to play).
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