Originally Posted by april31
Im wondering if part of it is because my oldest daughter is at the age it started with me. I thought i was over it. And now all the memories are comming back.
I think that this has a lot to do with it. Sometimes it takes a simple common factor of a traumatic period of your life to throw you right back to the memories. But also, this is your daughter, and from the sound of it, you have been sure to assure this, and nothing like it, would ever happen to her. Probably wondering have you done enough, because it is more then just the abuse you experienced, but also is she happy, feel loved, and have you done everything you can. Of course you have! If you need to know, ask her, I am sure she will tell you. You are open to talk about something so deep with us, that makes me think you have a very open relationship with her. This was a horrible punishment you received from someone who was unhappy with themselves.
Some people never allow themselves to heal, grow, learn after this, some only grow into the same behavioral pattern, some grow stronger and want to give/love what they felt they didn't to a family of their own.
As far as therapist/psychiatrists, this is a whole other story! I kinda look at it as a pot luck challenge! I am sure you haven't found the right therapist for you. It took me 20 years, 6 therapists, for me, and I would have never expected where and who and what to be the help I needed! I to get overwhelmed with the past and emotionally weak. The same way these things beat us down(pun not intended), haunt us subconsciously or creep back up unexpectedly, they are only reminders of an experience we have overcome, survived, conquered. Sometimes our moon, emotions, takes over our sun, true self, and we just need to take a deep breath and remind our selves we won!