friends eating problem! =[

kipper3972

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I am so frustrated.
My daughter, who is 14, has hardly eaten anything in 7 days and everytime she eats she feels fulls and feels like she will throw up, even if it is just one grape.
I'm extremely worried and I suggested to take her to the doctors but she refuses there is anything wrong with her and won't go.
it isnt normal to eat a noodle and a piece of meat everyday :'[
I made her eat 5 chips today just to make sure she stays standing!
She is happy with her weight etc. but is very tearful becuse she is confused why she isnt hungry.
does anyone know what this could be or any advice on what I should do next?
all the help will be very much appreciated! :]
thankyou fellow cat siters

xox
 

jugen

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Are you sure that kids at school aren't telling her that thin is in??
My friend has a child that thinks she is fat and only weighs about 87 pounds tops and is a freshman in HS. Her classmates are telling her that she needs to be thin all the time and so she hardly eats and says she feels full.

Eating disorders are all to common in our society nowdays.

I was anorexic after my divorce and I knew it but for some strange reason I liked looking like a skeleton. I went from 160 pounds to 95 in three months. I lived on cigarettes and Diet Pepsi, nothing else. If I ate something, I counter acted it by taking a diet pill. It was not pretty. I look at pictures of myself back then and I just look gross and wrong. No other way to explain it. I was tired all the time, I was irritable, my moods just swung like a flag in the breeze. It was terrible. I still struggle with my weight and the thoughts of diet pills everyday because I feel like I am over weight and I hate it. I have to avoid the diet pills in the store or I will stand there debating them for what seems like hours. The thing that stops me today is that I'll have a seizure from them now, so I tell myself that when I want to loose weight with diet pills.

Talk to your daughter. Ask her about kids at school, talk to her about dieting the right way. Or you can take her to the doctors and see if they can find something wrong that way. I just wanted to give you my 2 cents.

Hope it helps.
 

catsrnmom

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I agree with the need to "take" her to a doctor. She is not eating enough to sustain her basic needs, and some major health issues may start to arrise from it..Good luck and keep us posted on how things are going.
 

cairo

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I agree that she needs to go to a doctor although I honestly think this sounds like peer pressure from her friends, or what she sees as cool.

If you stand firm on taking her to the doctor, she might end up confessing that she's been doing it intentionally before you go. If she really isn't trying to starve herself, there could be something very wrong with her and catching it early is important with most illnesses.
 

zissou'smom

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This post really doesn't add up to me...

A 14-yr-old who can't even eat a grape without feeling sick for a week is having a serious medical emergency. There isn't really any argument to be had about whether she's going to the doctor or not.

If it is, in fact, an eating disorder, then she wouldn't be crying about not being able to eat, because she can eat and is hungry. It is a psychological disorder that causes people to be very unhappy with their weight and body shape...

So, your daughter needs a visit to the ER or a psychologist, depending on what is actually happening.
 

gingersmom

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Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom

This post really doesn't add up to me...

A 14-yr-old who can't even eat a grape without feeling sick for a week is having a serious medical emergency. There isn't really any argument to be had about whether she's going to the doctor or not.

If it is, in fact, an eating disorder, then she wouldn't be crying about not being able to eat, because she can eat and is hungry. It is a psychological disorder that causes people to be very unhappy with their weight and body shape...

So, your daughter needs a visit to the ER or a psychologist, depending on what is actually happening.


This is CLASSIC anorexia. You need to get your daughter in to see her pediatrician and into counseling NOW, and do NOT let your child dictate how you parent her.

The longer you delay, the greater the chances that your daughter could cause herself serious harm. Girls die from this disease.

I don't mean to scare you, but she needs help and FAST. You can find lots of good information about anorexia here. Please, get your child the help she needs, regardless of whether SHE thinks she needs it!
 

natalie_ca

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You need to take her to a doctor and to a psychologist pronto. Never mind if she says she doesn't want to go. You are the adult, make her go.

She has an eating disorder and the sooner you get her treated for it the better.

She needs to see that these images are what she's setting herself up for:

http://www.skeptically.org/sitebuild...xia-bikini.jpg

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15750402/

http://www.treatmentonline.com/blog/images/218.jpg

http://www.dys.sk/novuckeButony2/anorexia_6.jpg

http://fathersforlife.org/health/anorexia1.htm

.
.
.
 

strange_wings

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Is anyone else curious why the topic says "friends eating problem" and the post says "my daughter" ? Maybe I'm too suspicious..

Years ago I was very sick, to the point that I didn't eat anything for 9 or 10 days straight. Believe me, I didn't feel "full" at all. Every single thing I ate caused severe pain
I was unlucky enough to have a gallbladder infection.
So there could be an actual GI problem. If so it won't go away, a doctor's visit is definitely in order here. At the very least it could rule that out, also most doctors should know the warning signs of an eating disorder and will take proper measures (and referrals) if that's the case.
 

gailc

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One of my friends step daughter has anorexia for several years since she was in high school. It can be a control issue as this is one item they can control in their life. Please get her to a doc asap. This isn't something to take lightly. If any of her friends are doing this contact their parents to alert them.
 

pipersjo

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Originally Posted by strange_wings

Years ago I was very sick, to the point that I didn't eat anything for 9 or 10 days straight. Believe me, I didn't feel "full" at all. Every single thing I ate caused severe pain
I was unlucky enough to have a gallbladder infection.
So there could be an actual GI problem. If so it won't go away, a doctor's visit is definitely in order here. At the very least it could rule that out, also most doctors should know the warning signs of an eating disorder and will take proper measures (and referrals) if that's the case.
It is entirely possible that it is a GI problem. Either way she needs to see a Dr ASAP and get checked out!
 

carolpetunia

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Just adding another vote: this is definitely an emergency and must be dealt with immediately. If she doesn't have a regular doctor, the ER could be a good choice, because they'll have both an internist on hand to rule out physical illness and a psychologist available to deal with everything else that may be going on, including anorexia nervosa if present.

It's possible that the issue isn't a desire to be thin, though -- it could be that she's just so anxious and overwrought about life in general that she can't keep food down. But whether weight loss is her goal or not, the effect of malnutrition is the same, and it doesn't take long to do permanent damage to a growing body.

Please update us on her... and if you think she'd like to know it, please tell her she has a lot of loving support out here.
 

larussa

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That sure screams anorexia, I would get her to a Dr. right away whether she wants to go or not, your the mom.
 

belongstoevie

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Because she is 14, it is likely to be either anorexia, or influences from friends. However, I am not 14, I'm 25, and I have been dealing with a very similar problem for longer than I can remember. I mean years- 6 or 7.

Is this something that started abruptly? If so, it is probably a GI problem and it is imperative you get her to a doctor's, no questions asked.

If it's something that's been going on, and didn't start suddenly, she may be like me. I've seen mulitple doctors, and there's really no medical reason for it. I've been told it may be stress related, and that's what I'm treating now, but it's not helped yet.

Either way, she really does need to go see a doctor. Whether it's psychological, physical, or like me, and hard to pin-point, a doctor's opinion is vital.

I do wonder, though, why this is about the OP's daughter, but the subject is friend's eating...

Hope this is resolved soon!
 

carolpetunia

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Since a couple of people have brought this up, I'd like to say...

Whether this is a mother posting about her daughter, or a daughter posting about her friend, or a daughter posting about herself... it really doesn't matter. The suggestions offered here are just as valid, and our caring concern for this girl is just as genuine, whatever the situation is.

Please see a good doctor very soon...
 
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kipper3972

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I made her a salad bowl earlier, consisting of pasta and cheese and carrots etc. She at it all very slowly and complained of being very nausious afterwards. but she didnt rush to the loo to vomit. I sat her down and gave her a huge hug and asked her if she feels under pressue to stay thin from her school friends and she said she is quite happy with her weight and just feels generally ill. She says she doesn't want to go to the doctors because she feels like it is too much effort to get out of bed and get dressed and so on. she suffers from panic attacks, Do u think it could be depression of some sort? I can't get her to the doctors, I tried at 5 o clock earlier and she kicked up such a fuss, because she is terrified of the doctors. and I marked the post 'friend' because I wasn't thinking at the time. I tried to edit it but it wouldnt let me =[
 
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kipper3972

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also she says to me it is the 'food' that makes her feel sick so if she doesn't eat she won't feel sick. I can tell she isn't lying because when she complains of feeling sick after eating she is very pale and washed out. Is it a bug going round maybe?
 
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kipper3972

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Oh and I forgot to mention someone asked me if it came on suddenly and the answer to that is yes it did. we went to my sisters house to visit her cousins and she ate a meal of pasta and cheese sauce but when dinner time came she didn't feel hungry at all and started getting very worried about it. mm..
 

cairo

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Kick her a fuss back and take her to the doctor! You are the mom, and she needs to do what you are saying. If she's too weak and tired to go to the doctor, offer to carry her. She needs to go ASAP. A bug doesn't last this long, and if you are noticing she is pale and washed out, that is a VERY bad sign.

You can worry about upsetting your daughter by taking her to the hospital because she is terrified, or you can lose her altogether. I don't think it's worth the risk, no matter what it is.
 
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