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friends eating problem! =[ - Page 2

post #31 of 64
Originally Posted by kipper3972 View Post
I suppose so. She has been feeling like this for 7 days and it hasnt got worse or better. I have given her pasta and chips because thats her favourite foods and I am doing anything just to make her eat. What can happen after 7 days of not eating very much?
wednesday: breakfast normal lunch normal [this is when the problem started]dinner- a lettuce leaf
thursday: Half a sandwich
friday: a biscuit
saturday: 2 mouthfuls of noodles and a piece of chicken
sunday: 2 mouthfuls of rice
monday: 5 mouthgulfs of candyfloss and a slice of lamb
tuesday: 5 chips and a salad bowl
is this a dangerous amount to eat in just a week?
[I think it is about

Yes that is not enough to support a teenager. How is she drinking? Has she been retaining fluids? If so, what has she been drinking?

Get her to a doctor in the morning.
post #32 of 64
Thread Starter 
she has been drinking normally, things like water and fruit juices. just what she normally drinks
post #33 of 64
Originally Posted by kipper3972 View Post
you have mentioned a blockage? could this be why she feels so full up all the time. she claims that when she eats she can 'feel it' inside her going down.
It's possible, but only a doctor can tell. And if it is a blockage, if it's gotten to the point of these symptoms don't try treating it yourself as it could be fatal.

A friend of mine recently went through all the symptoms you described, and finally checked himself into the hospital 8 days after the initial problem started. His intestine had become blocked, and the food started rotting, and it ended up eating up parts of his intestine. He had to have 2 feet of intestine removed and it took him 6 months to recover. He is now on a special diet.

All the other possibilities I mentioned are things I have personally seen happen to my friends. All with the same symptoms you are describing about your daughter.
post #34 of 64
Thread Starter 
good grief!! I am a extremely worried mum now :'( I am taking her to get some help if she likes it or not. I'm her mum and I will just ignore her tantrums. I asked her yesterday if she had constipation or diarrhoea and she said she doesnt so would this mean she still could have a blockage?
thankyu for all the replies so far!! it is so lovely how you all care so much!
you are all angels and I appreciate it
post #35 of 64
Thread Starter 
I am going to go to sleep now but I will be back in the morning to update you on how things are going.
post #36 of 64
Sending lots of good thoughts and wishes to you and your daughter!
post #37 of 64
It just dawned on me too, that this could be a blockage or torsion of the intestine! I'm glad to see someone else has already brought that up.

In case of that, it would NOT be good to force her to eat. Just take her straight to the doctor or the ER, first thing in the morning... please.
post #38 of 64
I just found this thread now and oddly enough my sister just had her second abdominal surgery for a blockage, actually a partial blockage called a stricture. She had to have a foot of intestine removed and is now having complications. She too had the same symptoms.

Another thing, which normally isn't thought of is extreme anemia. I say this because I had it as a teenager and it gave very vague feeling of being unwell and after I ate I would feel nauseated and eventually vomitted no matter what I ate. My hair began falling out is well. I was also very pale. I was severly anemic by the time I went to the doctor. Does your daughter have heavy periods? This could very easily set her up for iron deficiency anemia.

She may not like doctors, but being ill is a fact of life and if she wants to stay alive she is going to have to go sometimes.

My sister doesn't like doctors either. She knew there was something wrong for six months but didn't go. Finally she went in for a "check up" and they found a tumor the size of a cantalope in her abdomen. She had to have an emergency tumor removal and full hysterectomy. Because she waited so long the sugery was difficult and 5 week out she developed the stricture from the first surgery retractor placing pressure on her small bowel. She had that removed 4 weeks ago, but is having problems again and has to go back to the surgeon tomorrow. We are hoping is it not another blockage, adhesion or stricture.

PLEASE, this is potentially life threatening to your daugher, whether physical or psychological. She needs to go, even if you have to call the ambulance on her.

Sending lots of good vibes your way and please keep us posted.
post #39 of 64
Thread Starter 
she does have partically heavy period and bad stomach cramps. It is early in the morning 5 hours sleep and I am feeling exhausted. My daughter is in bed and i told her to get dressed and ready to go to the docs. I hace a feeling this is going to be difficult
thankyou to everyone x
post #40 of 64
When I was in high school I had an eating disorder. I suffered a como of anorexia and bulimia. Part of it was peer presure and part of it was a contrp; issue.
I will start with the peer pressure part. In school all the guys wanted these skinny wafe like girls. I noticed all the girls that were super popular never ate at school. They spent their lunches just hanging out and not eating. I thought hey, maybe thats the answer. This was 11+ years ago, today it is much worse, girls like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie make it cool to be super skinny. Girls and boys can be very mean even over one pound. When I look back I realize these girls were not really happy. They looked bad and tried way too hard to fit in.

For the control issue. Food was the only thing in my llife I could control. My parents spent tons of money triing to help me realize that food was a nesity not something to play with. For 2 years I never at more than 1 apple and 1 cup of yogurt a day. That was it. I had so much pressure from my parents to do well in school, my freinds to look a certain way, my teachers to get things done. Then I had a job on top of it off so I had a manager to be on me and want a job done a certain way. The only thing I had was what I ate. I was able to decide when and how much I needed to eat. My life was out of control. Suicide became a real possability for me. I felt I had no other optoin.

My parents finally put me in a hospital when my weight got close to 100 pounds. They had been watching me. My hair was thinning, my skin pasty, none of my cloths fit any more. I stopped sleeping. Afet two months I was realesed with some knowladge. I put on 15 pounds and looked pretty good. I learned that Ineeded to talk with my parents more. When pressure hit let them know. They were there to help. My mom became very strickt. She made sure I ate at least twice a day and when I did eat most of the time it was a fight. I was still worryong about calories and putting on weight. She would not let me leave the table till I ate evrything. If that ment I sat there all night, she sat with me.

Today I am almost 30 pounds overwieght. I no longer use food as a tool. I have learned how to deal with stress. Plus I have a wonderful DH who knows the signs to look for and won't let me go with out food.

My concern for your girl is that there is something else going on. I said the same things at the begining. I felt sick or the food was gross, you name it I said it. I don't think its a medical thing. Girls will say anything to get sympathy and make the 'rents feel sorry for them. Thus letting them get away with not eating. I would suggest that she see a therapixt who specializes in eating disorders. It sounds like she is on the path to one, if not there already. I think there is something going on that she does not feel comfortable talking with you about. She may never want to talk with you about it. There are things that I still have not told my parents. They ask everyonce and a while but I still brush it off. Talk to her councler at school to get refeances. You are still the parent. She is 14. She has to do what you say. Don't be weak about it. She may hate you for making her realize what has been going on. Trust me she will hate you. She will grow past that. She needs help. She needs someone she can talk to and try to figure out why she is doing it. Be strong.
If it is a peer of hers and not hers call her mother and have aheart to heart. Whoever it is the girl needs help. There is something going on.

PM me if you need to. I have been there. I know all about it.

Sorry about the spelling. I wrote this fast.
post #41 of 64
Thread Starter 
shouldn't I encourage her to eat breakfast.. or not?
with the whole eating disorder thing you are sugesting she doesnt have any other symptoms and it came on suddenly. But she actually gets upset that she can't eat cos she says she wants to eat ehr easter eggs and i can tell she is telling the truth because she goes pale after eating food. should i encourage her to eat more.. or just leave it and take her to the doctors? I am so confused
post #42 of 64
Originally Posted by kipper3972 View Post
she does have partically heavy period and bad stomach cramps. It is early in the morning 5 hours sleep and I am feeling exhausted. My daughter is in bed and i told her to get dressed and ready to go to the docs. I hace a feeling this is going to be difficult
thankyou to everyone x

let her try to eat, if she wants something. but
go go go, that is what she needs right now.
do what you need , to get her to see doc.
I wish you the best of luck today,
post #43 of 64
Thread Starter 
i went up and shouted for her to get up quickly and put some clothes on but she is taller than me and i cant physically drag her. and it is just me and her in the house. Is this problem really that serious to call the paramedics? or maybe just NHS direct for some advice..
post #44 of 64
from what i was reading, no,
but she does need to see a doctor soon, to find out why this is happing to her.
i dont know what NHS is. but i do know that what is happing is not normal or healtly for her.
post #45 of 64
Thread Starter 
nhs direct is the main hospital service telephone call center. you ring up to find out if the problem needs serious medical attention or if it needs just a trip to the GP. She still isnt getting up and I have shouted at her numerous times, if she was 11 again i could just pick her up and drag her out the door but I can't. She doesn't understand she NEEDS to go.
post #46 of 64
I am sending hugs and prayers from Mississippi for you and your daughter.

She might not like doctors and might not like going to see one, but this is just too bad right now.

You are the mother and she needs to go to the doctor to see what is wrong with her.

Please keep us posted on how she is doing.
post #47 of 64
i see well call them then, and tell them what you have told us here.
my bet would be they will say GP, But check with them.
post #48 of 64
Ultamately you are her mom. If you think she needs to see a doctor now and can afford it take her in to emergency. If you fell it can wait, take her in the morning first thing. Either way get her checked out medically. If all results come back that she is healthy, get her mental help.

We are here to help you but in no way can we give you the correct advice with out being there and witnessing it. We all love you and give you full support. Get medical care and go from ther based on what the doctors say.

Sending {{{vibes}}} that this works itself out.

She is 14, grab her and drag her out the door. The last time I checked unill she is 18 you are in control.
post #49 of 64
Folks, from what I read, it seems her daughter is physically larger than she is and to physically force her to a doctor isn't an option!

You may need to call on other family members to help you get her to a doctor. If she won't go willingly, then you need to take other measures. I don't know what those measures would have to be unfortunately. Perhaps you can call your family doctor or a family member's doctor and find out what options you have to get her forcibly taken to a doctor. I honestly don't think you have time to stand around and argue with her and we are only an internet site and have no medical training and couldn't give you a diagnosis anyway since none of us are doctors.

So, do whatever you have to do to get her seen by a professional. Do it now.
post #50 of 64
If you still can't get her to the doctor, maybe you could read her some replies from here, especially Cairo's!
post #51 of 64
Did you get her to the doctor? Just looking for an update--hopefully, she's ok!
post #52 of 64
Just checking in to see if there are any updates..Many healing vibes for your daughter if needed...
post #53 of 64
NHS? UK I take it. I say go to your GP, they can always squeeze you in if its an emergency, casulty/A&E always make you wait for hours, but they have the equipment to do x-rays etc.
NHS= National Health Service. Free healthcare basically. You have to wait for Hours though, so Serious problems (major operations) are often paid for privately.
NHS Direct advice usually takes the form of -If you're worried go see a doctor
I once got a stomach bug and could only eat oranges for a week, chucked up alot too, and got such bad cramps that I still get pains there (I think I did something to a muscle) and they were spectacularly unhelpful even with offering a possible course of action.
GP all the way, I hope its nothing serious. Do you live near to a hospital?
post #54 of 64
She needs to see a doctor. Scare her into it and guilt her into it if need be. Cry and sob and tell her you're so scared that she has a blockage or something and you can't bear to see her go through a horrible surgery, and how it'd be all your fault if you let it go and that made it worse.

If she can play mind games, then so can you!!!!
post #55 of 64
Ok, so I just read back through the thread, and I'm assuming you don't have a 14 year old daughter? I could be wrong, but you don't sound very old.

It's cool if you just said because it really is your friend, or maybe yourself, or a family member with the problem.

But the point is, that everyone is trying to give you advice of how to get your daughter to hospital and is very worried about your daughter, when I'm assuming that's not really the problem...

If it's a friend or relative you're worried about which is why you can't physically drag her to a doctor, let us know, and we can maybe try to give advice that's more relevant, or direct you to websites that talk about eating disorders, and blockages and things like that which may be the cause.

Good luck, and please don't be afraid to tell us the truth
post #56 of 64
I'm really afraid if we keep pressing this identity question, we may lose our opportunity to help this person. Please... let's not pressure her on this.
post #57 of 64
worrying here. I am hoping that no matter what the identity of the person who is ill, that they have been persuaded to see a doctor.

If this is an issue where an intervention is needed, not sure if they are done in the UK or Canada. However here in the US concerned family and friends can get together and do an intervention for a person who is neglecting to take care of themselves. If this person is a minor then the parents have the authority to have them hospitalized if it is in their best interest.

Even if this is strictly a medical issue and not a mental health issue as well, in the US a person can be put on a 72 hour medical hold if they are deemed a danger to themselves. Not eating (for whatever reasons) is definitely a danger to oneself.

Hoping that today went well and some answers are on the way, and the sufferer is getting on the path to recovery.
post #58 of 64
The first thing i would do is take her to the Doctor whether she
wants to go or not then take it from there because it could be
a stomach virus or infection.
post #59 of 64
If she refuses to see a doctor then give your GP a ring and hopefully s/he will be able to do a house call when you explain that you can't get her to a doctor.
post #60 of 64
Her being unwilling to go to the doctor is a big red flag to me. If she thought something was medicaly wrong I would think she would go since it has been a week. Please update us.
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