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Aaargh! I am furious!

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
I work for an orthopaedic surgeon and along with his private patients he undertakes a lot of Workers’ Compensation and Medicolegal work.

For logistical reasons he does not undertake second opinions on Workers’ Compensation cases.

My secretary took a booking for a Workers’ Comp case last week when I was away on leave. The insurer was making the appointment and did not tell her it was for a second opinion, so she took the booking. The patient phoned today to confirm the appointment, and one thing led to another and I ended up finding out it was for a second opinion.

I rang her case manager who was insufferably rude to me, and amongst other things finally said, `Well it would have been nice to have found this out when I made the booking’, and hung up on me while I was mid-sentence trying to explain.

Now, this kind of utter lack of professionalism and rudeness just makes me wild. I cannot abide that kind of behaviour, and so I sent him an email briefly explaining the situation. The rest of my email was a request for him to send me the name of his immediate superior, so that I could submit a written complaint about his attitude and behaviour towards me. Hopefully that will be enough to make him think about the way he speaks to people – in his job he needs to be more mature and professional than that.

Even now I am so angry I am still shaking from it.

Now. I do have a bad temper, and perhaps I should let this one slide. But I think there is something to be said for manners and professionalism and I don’t believe that you should stand by and let people tramp on you. I will write a complaint more out of principle than because I can’t take it when people are rude to me.

What do you guys think? Do you think it’s important and just to stand up for yourself and to not just sit back and take it when people treat you rudely – work situation or otherwise? I make a special effort not to be rude, to always try to moderate my tone and be careful of other people’s feelings. I feel that in this age people just walk over you whenever they please and a bit of good old-fashioned manners wouldn’t go astray, and that people should be pulled up when they fail to use them.

What would you do?
post #2 of 15
i have noticed that the ulta left wing people do seem to have much more anger issues then us normal people do (just teasing you... dont throw stuff at me)

knowing me, i would have gone off on him then invited him to meet me in the alley behind some bar, or in the parking lot but that is me. You did the right thing, Yes you do need to stand up for yourself. People do seem to be more rude these days, they can hide behind the internet, a phone, or the law.

i blame all on not being allowed to knock the &#!% out of people that need it. note this is done in only the best kindness and education method. with no anger

HUG, i hope your day gets better.
post #3 of 15
Thread Starter 
Lol! Thanks Bruce - I knew your response would make me laugh!!

I have to agree, the ultra left do have some serious issues - not just in anger! Lucky I'm not one of them huh?

The thing is, he took all the wind out of my sails by promptly emailing me back the name of his manager! Except, he had no choice, because I indicated that if he didn't respond I'd be happy to contact his department by phone and `find out to whom I should direct my complaint', as I put it.

I'm calming down actually, but I'm still not happy about it and feel that I did the right thing by addressing it. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to point out your behaviour for you to change it. Lord knows it's happened to me! (yes, yes, I know you're wondering why, sweet, shrinking violet that I am!!)
post #4 of 15
i am glad to hear that you are calming down. Getting stressed is not the way to spend the work, and i think you did the right thing.
post #5 of 15
Ouch! That does not sound like it went well. Be careful about sending the letter when you are angry - any form of communication is irreversible and often when we do things out of anger, we say things that, in hindsight, we regret.

I hope that everything goes okay for you.
post #6 of 15
Thread Starter 
Yes you're right. And I've got in trouble for that before - once, notably, many many years ago, but I've never forgotten the lesson.

I kept my communications calm and when I emailed his superior I was very polite and just asked her to call me if she had time. If she doesn't, I won't follow it up. I think the point was made.

One thing (and it's a very important lesson) I've learned over the years is that things said in anger are almost 100% of the time regrettable, and things never seem so bad in hindsight.
post #7 of 15

Well, you know, everyone is a special snowflake and nobody is ever wrong, they're just different... I can't even say that with a straight face.

People like that used to be told to shut their trap and after enough people told them that they'd either get fired or shape up.

Now all us nice people are so reluctant to be even a little rude that they just trample over everyone like a herd of elephants. Yes, I think you did the right thing. You might be the first person who's ever stood up to him.

Mean people suck.
post #8 of 15
I think the word "professional" is way over used! It's not even a matter of professionalism, it is a matter of plain old respect. You shouldn't have to be in a position that requires "professionalism" to have to display respect for another human, it should just be a matter of treating people with the same respect you would like in return.

I think respect is something a lot of people are lacking these days.
post #9 of 15
Thread Starter 
Well, I just got a call from his supervisor. He had already been to her with a story, which was `The phone just cut out and I didn't get a chance to call her back'. Yeah, right. As I pointed out to his supervisor, had that been the case, he had every opportunity to explain that to me when he responded to my email, and apologise at the time. She didn't have an answer for that.

She asked for a copy of the email I sent him, and I obliged. I was painstakingly polite and friendly towards her, I told her I felt that perhaps he was just having a stressful day, and I merely wanted to bring it to her attention. I provided her with a list of surgeons who do undertake medicolegal second opinions, and I thanked her for taking the time to call me.

I hope she speaks with him about it, but that he doesn't get into too much trouble. I am glad it panned out the way it has, because I think that as Kallie said, it's a simple matter of respect. Sometimes it only takes one person not to put up with being treated disrespectually, and to stand up and say something, for the other person to think about their actions from that point on.
post #10 of 15
no reason to start to feel gulity now.
you did the right thing to start with
post #11 of 15
Everything you did was great, pretty much faultless. If he starts mouthing off about you he will be the one that looks bad.
post #12 of 15
I don't think you should take it, but at the same time you have to make sure that you express as dissatisfaction or problems with the most professionalism that you can. You can make your anger/irritation known without letting it look like you're stooping to their level.

There are times when customers are downright to me, and I have days where I'm not going to let it go, and I give them a few words. But I'm careful to do it in such a way that it shows that I'm not happy with how I'm being treated, but I'm doing it politely.
post #13 of 15
You should have told him to suck it up the big baby.
post #14 of 15
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by ckblv View Post
You should have told him to suck it up the big baby.

I would have loved to - if I'd got the chance!!
post #15 of 15
Originally Posted by ckblv View Post
You should have told him to suck it up the big baby.
Yes, but then that would have defeated the exact reason she was angry for..a lack of respect and professionalism...I don't think it's a wise choice to stoop.
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