Was I wrong to call? (kind of long)

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

My feeling is that this poor kid is desperately trying to find somebody to give her some love... and in a kid's mind, chocolates can equal love. I don't think she's a thief -- I think she just saw in your home a level of care and attention that she clearly isn't getting in hers, and she wanted more of it.

Her father is reprehensible and does need some talking to -- not about how he took advantage of you (which is only a symptom, not the problem), but about what he's doing to his daughter by ignoring her need for a loving parent who is more interested in her than in "date night." If you can find a way to give him some guidance without turning it into a confrontation, that would be a very good thing.

You were very kind to do what you did for that little girl... and your daughter, too, has been wonderful to her. I hope you'll continue to let her see, and sometimes be part of, a caring household. Poor kid.

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Very well said. I agree.

First, thank you everyone, for your input. I didn't know if I was having a lapse in judgment from being way too tired. I was already upset that he was so late picking her up, and finding the candy gone really got to me. I agree with what everyone wrote, and believe CarolPetunia is especially dead-on right.

The mom lives in another Province. The little girl sees her twice a year (about six weeks total). 90% of the time when she's with her mom, she goes to "smart camps," i.e. day camps.

So, the dad called and said he wanted to get things straightened out. I focused on the Victoria Creams, since those are Daughter's very favorite, and they were special Easter ones. (They also cost $17.50 for six of them!) His daughter is bringing them to school Tuesday.

I hope to have this little girl over more from now on. At least I know she's safe here. She's really a sweet little girl, loving and cheerful all the time. She's always trying to make the best of things.

We have decided to believe that it was an honest mistake; that she didn't really know what was hers and what wasn't. She gets the benefit of the doubt because she's a very good friend to our daughter.

Thanks again, everyone!

Well it sounds like shes done what shes learned. Father hasnt taken much responsibility for her. Seems to me he has plenty of reasons for her to be gone alot and im sure the girl has plenty of reasons for doing what she did. Do you know for sure if she really is getting a basket from her father? Not saying it was right but there might be more to the story.

I feel bad for you and your daughter though it was a special time for you and now its brought with sadness and anger.

Hopefully she will return the candy and do the right thing. Let her know she is welcome in your house but not if she is gona take things that are not hers.

Putting together easter baskets is not cheap and you already went out of your way to not let her feel left out.

oops we must have been typing at same time. Glad things worked out ok. And thank you for being a special person in this girls life sounds like she needs one.

Originally Posted by april31

...I feel bad for you and your daughter though it was a special time for you and now its brought with sadness and anger...

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I didn't even realize that... how true! You put part of what I'm feeling into words!

Oh, I'm glad it seems to be working out! Excellent!

Now, about these "Victoria Creams." They sound wonderful! Please, will you torment us non-Canadians with a description?

I agree that this father needs to take a hard look in the mirror, and ask himself what his priorities truly are...his asking you to take the child over Easter was rather imposing, if you want my opinion, and especially so because it because of his "date night" tradition. I think over the Easter holiday, a father can ditch his night out to spend some quality time with his little girl, to do Easter activities with her, rather than dumping her off with someone else. I think it's disgusting, even if he is a "nice guy." And further more, a sincerely "nice guy" would have provided you with some reciprocity for the items you threw together to create her Easter basket...either by way of taking your girl out to do something special, or monetarily... Talk about taking advantage of someone!!!

Anyway, you're a better sport about it than I would be. I'm glad he's going to return the stuff that was meant for your daughter. And yes, you're a kind soul to have done all you've done for this guy and his child...it's fortunate she means something to SOMEONE, even if it is someone outside her immediate family.

Originally Posted by CarolPetunia

Now, about these "Victoria Creams." They sound wonderful! Please, will you torment us non-Canadians with a description?

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I've never heard of them either. I found this link on the net:


Victoria Creams

And another link

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I've never heard of them either. I found this link on the net:


Victoria Creams

And another link

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Oh gosh -- all those flavors! Which is your daughter's favorite, SW?

I'm thinking rum, coconut, orange, and vanilla...

...and peach and caramel...

...okay, okay, one of each!

LOL! Is everybody craving chocolate now?

They are made locally, they are like GIANT bon-bons (chocolate-covered fondant).

The ones I got for Daughter are egg-shaped (limited time only). They are about as big as a flattened egg!

Daughter's favorite is strawberry (her favorite everything is strawberry). My favorite is blueberry, then vanilla. Maple and raspberry are very good, too. I haven't had all the flavors, not even half, but I don't really care for the chocolate nut, weirdly enough, because the actual Roger's Chocolate is fantastic.

I want to try the coffee ones!

BTW, you guys are very kind. I don't know that I did anything great. It seemed like the thing to do, you know?

I don't know the dad at all. In fact, I was kind of surprised when he said, "Sure!" to the invitation to take his daughter off the island and be gone for 13 hours. I was even more surprised when he asked if she could stay here Friday night. I had said that wasn't possible, since Daughter had been sick all week, and I knew she wouldn't get enough sleep Friday night with a sleep over, and I knew what a long day Saturday would be.

I have to watch myself because sometimes I get very protective of me and mine.

Nah! You can never care too much with your kiddos, yourself included.

Those Victoria creams do sound lovely!

i love the Vancouver Aquarium, but have not been there in years.
but yea, if the girl took the candy then i would have called also

I'm glad it all worked out. I found this thread late. I do feel for your daughter's friend though. Honest mistake or not, it does seem like she needs more attention than her father is giving her. You and your family are probably the only experience she has for a true family.