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Just got cranky with DH....

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
Honestly. I just don't get it. He's always complaining in the morning about being tired. I always wake up before him, and spend 20 minutes nagging him to get out of bed, then I finally give up and just get out of bed myself, and have a shower and go to the bedroom and he's STILL in bed on his laptop!!

We work at the same place, so we have to leave at the same time. And to make it worse, he sets his alarm for 7am, then snoozes and snoozes and snoozes until about 8am, which is about the time I've nagged him and give up and get out of bed.

Now I'm working full time, studying for my degree part time, and I'm pregnant so that's all pretty tiring. I had an assignment due a couple of days ago, so have spent the last couple of weeks up until midnight doing my assignment, and still get up well before him. Yes, he is busy at work, but he works the same hours as me, so that's no excuse.

I generally wake up a couple of times throughout the night to get comfortable, and wake at 5:30/6am to pee and can't get back to sleep. I usually fall asleep a bit before 7 only to get woken up by the alarm - which he NEVER gets up for

So I got cranky this morning and pointed ALL this out to him and told I didn't want to hear his complaining about being tired because I just don't care.

I'm also changing his alarm to 8am...
post #2 of 17
Aw You have a right to be cranky! A pregnant woman is not one to be messed with

I remember living with my ex and we didnt have to get up at the same time so I think it was even more annoying because I would wake up to his alarm at some god awful time like 5:30am and then my alarm again at 7:00am.
post #3 of 17
Maybe he's sleeping but not sleeping very deeply? I sort of have that problem sometimes. I can get 8 hours of sleep and feel like I've only had 3 because I'll halfway wake up before I get into a deep sleep. Luckily that doesn't happen too often.

Another possibility is that he's low in something. If he's tired a lot during the day maybe a blood test wouldn't hurt.

I always have problems waking up early too, lately I've had the cat and kitten snooze alarm. I accidentally fall back asleep after turning the alarm off only to be woke up a short time later by one of the cats purposely trying to wake me up. It's very difficult to sleep through a kitten digging at and pulling your hair.
post #4 of 17
Hmm....he sounds like me kinda! I'm no good in the morning. My first alarm goes off at 6:30, that's my pre-wakeup alarm. Then it goes off again at 7. At which time I shut it off, and let my top half fall back on the bed. Litterally, at 7 a.m. on any weekday, if you walked into my bedroom or peeped in my window, you'd see my rear sticking up in the air! (Fortunately I have a high bed!)

After a minute or so I'm able to move, but still not quite there. DH gets up about 5-10 minutes before me. He basically only gets up that early to help me get out the door too. He goes to work an hour later usually. I'm awful in the morning and I know it, so when DH does get cranky with me I don't blame him. And I totally don't blame you either! I'd stop nagging. He's a big boy and he knows what his responsibilities are, so he should be doing them. (I'm preachin to myself too here) Maybe by nagging and what not, he feels more able to lounge in bed in the mornings, because he knows you will get him up eventually?
post #5 of 17
I'm a cranky morning person too. For some reason, no matter how tired I am, I'll perk up at night, but in the mornings I draaaaag.

When it is gloomy out, like it has been all week here, I have a REALLY hard time getting out of bed, even after a full 8 hours of sleep. I was actually 20 minutes late to work this morning, and I only live 10 minutes away!

Some folks just aren't morning people!
post #6 of 17
Thread Starter 
He's not tired because he's sick or anything, he's just not a morning person. He sleeps very deeply as well, judging by his snore levels, and the fact that nothing will wake him at night

If I don't nag he'll never get up - trust me I've tried!!! And when I'm exhausted as well, and have slept badly, it's hard for me to drag myself out of bed when he's lying there sleepy and holding his arms out for me to cuddle into him and stay just another 5 minutes

What's REALLY funny is that every Thursday morning he has a 9am meeting. And he has a reminder on his phone at 8:45am. And he was just getting out of the shower when the alarm went off. I said to him (I was dressed and ready) - you forgot your Thursday morning 9am meeting didn't you?

That got his tail moving!!!!
post #7 of 17
If he snores, that is probably an indication that he is NOT getting good restful sleep! It can interrupt your breathing which keeps you from entering deep sleep for long enough to be rested no matter how long you sleep. It has similar effect on those within earshot also mind you!
post #8 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahp View Post
He sleeps very deeply as well, judging by his snore levels, and the fact that nothing will wake him at night
When my DH snores really bad he's usually tired the next day....and so am I

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahp View Post
it's hard for me to drag myself out of bed when he's lying there sleepy and holding his arms out for me to cuddle into him and stay just another 5 minutes
I get this too
post #9 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahp View Post
He's not tired because he's sick or anything, he's just not a morning person. He sleeps very deeply as well, judging by his snore levels, and the fact that nothing will wake him at night

If I don't nag he'll never get up - trust me I've tried!!! And when I'm exhausted as well, and have slept badly, it's hard for me to drag myself out of bed when he's lying there sleepy and holding his arms out for me to cuddle into him and stay just another 5 minutes

What's REALLY funny is that every Thursday morning he has a 9am meeting. And he has a reminder on his phone at 8:45am. And he was just getting out of the shower when the alarm went off. I said to him (I was dressed and ready) - you forgot your Thursday morning 9am meeting didn't you?

That got his tail moving!!!!
snoring is a sign that he's not sleeping deeply.

if you stop nagging, he'll eventually learn to not rely on you as an alarm. but it will tick you off in the process - you'll have to be very strong doing this.

i know how he feels to a point - I HATE mornings. I'm not a morning person and I know it. I can't do anything until I've had a shower or have eaten breakfast.
post #10 of 17
Thread Starter 
I actually find if he seems to be snoring a lot, he wakes up fresher than when he's not snoring...

And let me just clarify, I'm not a big nagger, and I generally just say "ok dear, come on, it's REALLY time we got up" a few times. Yesterday once we were on our way to work (at 9:40am) he says to me "well why don't you just tell me when you it's time to get up and I'll get up". I tell him I try and he gets cranky with me, and he says "oh, do I? Well just ignore that and keep on nagging me". Riiiiight! He does actually prefer to get to work early...

This has been happening every day since we're been together. It's just gotten to me this week because I'm averaging 4-5 hours of sleep a night, and he's averaging 8-9 hours of sleep and HE'S complaining of being tired! Sheesh!
post #11 of 17
Uh I feel your pain. My boyfriend is the same way. He'll hit sleep on his alarm clock for an hour or more before he finally gets up. It drives me crazy. Not only that but he can carry on a conversation with me while he's half asleep. I'll tell him something important, only to find out later he never really comprehended it.
post #12 of 17
Does he have a sleep disorder like sleep apnea? If he does that will explain why he's so tired in the morning.

I had a sleep study done last month and found that I had obstructive sleep apnea. What that means is that my airway collapses when I'm sleeping and it blocks my breathing. As a result I snore, wake up dozens of times in an hour and stop breathing for periods of up to 2 minutes at a time. All of that means that I don't get a restful sleep and am always really tired.

Two weeks ago I got a CPAP machine that I use at night. What that does is keeps my airway open kind of like blowing up a balloon. I can't believe how rested I feel when I wake up now. My alarm goes off once and I'm wide awake whereas I used to press snooze several times before crawling out of bed feeling like I needed a nap.

There could be a legitimate medical reason behind him being so tired in the morning. Of course it could also be that he's just a lazy slug too,
post #13 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Does he have a sleep disorder like sleep apnea? If he does that will explain why he's so tired in the morning.

I had a sleep study done last month and found that I had obstructive sleep apnea. What that means is that my airway collapses when I'm sleeping and it blocks my breathing. As a result I snore, wake up dozens of times in an hour and stop breathing for periods of up to 2 minutes at a time.
Nope, he sleeps like a log, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't have sleep apnea. He's just not a morning person. I can get up in the middle of the night and go to the toilet, rearrange pillows, or if I can't sleep - read for an hour or so in bed with the bedside light on, and he has no idea. Just sleeps soundly through the whole thing.
post #14 of 17
I'm like your hubby and my hubby is like you. Once I fall asleep, I hear nothing. We've had very loud thunder storms during the night and everyone commented on them the next day. I didn't hear them! I would be happy sleeping every day until noon and staying up until the wee hours of the morning. I usually hit snooze at least twice and often more. Hubby gets up an hour before me and I don't even hear his alarm or hear him opening and closing closet doors, high boy drawers, etc.
post #15 of 17
Just get an alarm clock with your voice recorded in there frantically yelling, "Honey, get the bag!!! The baby's on it's way!!!" That will jump start him in the morning!!!
post #16 of 17
Well goodness hon, I'd be tired too if i were in your shoes! I'm glad you told your hubby how hard he was making morning for you. It's good that he be on the same page with you and know when something he does is making things more difficult for you. I hope he starts to make an effort to make mornings more bearable for you How are you feeling with your pregnancy? Good i hope!
post #17 of 17
sorry, that you had a rough start to your day.

now coming from a person that normaly people, animals, and small armys stay away from in the morning, i always wake up, feeling like crap, feeling tired. etc. i think every break-up i have ever had was before 9am. lol my sister once, made a sign and posted it on my door that said danger the bear bites before noon or 3 doughnuts that why i work nights. it takes me 2 horus to fully wake up.

and i have been that way my whole life... some of us just do play well with others first thing in the morning.
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