I really need advice...

Hello all!!
This is my first post and it has to do with introducing a adult cat to a older kitten of about 6 months old.
We decided to get another cat because our number one cat is an indoor cat and when we get full time jobs she is going to be alone alot. My partner and I went for a bike ride the other day and just as we were about to start the bike ride we heard our cat howling because we were going out , we have heard her get upset because we were going before that aswell, so we thought it might be a good thing for her in the long run that we get her a companion.
Yesterday we brought home the new kitten, I got out the blanket it was sleeping on at the shelter and put it in the room with the no.1 cat she hissed and growled at it plus even smacked it. Later on in the night we thought we would let out the kitten while the no.1 cat was at the other end of the room, the no.1 cat saw the kitten and hissed, growled and generally looked as though she was going to kill it. When the kitten came closer to the no.1 cat the no.1 cat almost charged the kitten so we have separated the kitten into his safe room.
If I go and play with the kitten in his safe room, and then come out to the no.1 cat and try to play with her she hisses at me and growls.
I'm not sure if it was such a great idea getting a kitten, and I will feel terrible if I have to take him back to the shelter which I really, really don't want to do....
Is there anything the vet can give the no.1 cat in the way of medication to sedate her or get her to accept the new kitten?
I am just trying really hard to see what my options are other than taking the kitten back to the shelter... Help!

It takes weeks and sometimes a few months before they really get along. It won't happen in a few days.

Are both cats desexed? If not, that needs to be taken care of ASAP so introductions will go better.

What I did when I brought Charlie home was to put him in the library by himself with bed, litter pan, food/water. He stayed in there for about 2 weeks. Within the first 2 days, we let him and Keno meet (Keno's the dog) and sniff each other. Ling was not allowed to see him at all - tho she knew he was in the house.

It was 4 days before Ling showed enough interest to let them have face-to-face contact. Of course both hissed and Ling ran away. Under supervision Charlie was allowed out to explore a little at a time. The dog was put in a down-stay so not to be too intiminating

You have to expect some hissing and swatting at each other. Even now, Charlie still instigates the wresting matches and wants to be top cat (he will eventually). I think we had Charlie about 2 months before Ling let him sit on the sofa with her.

Be patient, make sure both cats are desexed and up to date on shots. Trim ALL nails on both cats. And just take it one day at a time. Don't medicate, don't sedate. You might try putting some cornstarch baby powder on both so they smell the same.

Thank you yes both cats are desexed and up to date on vac. shots, I have had so much different advice some people are saying to me to just have them out together and let them get use to each other and other people saying keep them apart then short gradual introductions at first. They have seen each other and ollie (the new kitten) hasn't reacted to sarah at all in fact he backed off when sarah was hissing at him....so I don't know if I should have them together all the time or if I should do a gradual introduction, which is better in the long term?

Oh yes, it will take at least a week. Give them time, go slowly. In my house, introductions can take months. I know it's awful to watch, but it is well worth it when the two kitties are snuggled together in the end.

I am in the process you are. It does take time. I have had little 9 week old Daphne for a week now, separated in the bathroom with play time in the front room with me. Sebastian (age 11), watched everything she did for the first few days but hissed at her and bopped her on the head a couple of times if she got too close. He didn't use claws, just a bop with his big ol' paw.

This morning, I found him on the floor with her. He was in a box sticking his paw out, when she tried to catch it, he pulled it back in. They aren't at the cuddly stage yet, but he is more patient and is playing more than he has in years. They have touched noses all on their own with no hissing or batting. Keep the faith! It may take a few months for some cats, but it will work.

I have been giving Seb little treats when he is nice to her (not hissing). Also give him lots of extra lovings so he doesn't feel displaced.

Nights are still for Seb. Daphne goes back in the bathroom then or when I am not here.

Hope this helps a bit. Try not to stress over it. I think they can feel when our stress levels rise. I just try to consider Seb a elderly man dealing with a toddler Helps me keep perspective. Do keep us updated on your progress!

Well I played with ollie for a little bit in his safe room as he is still isolated away from sarah, after I played with ollie I went and tried to give sarah a play session, well she just hissed at me and let out a few growls, so I spoke to her and gave her a cuddle.
Thank you for your encouragement it gives me hope

Just to keep you all updated....Sarah showed some positive signs with the new kitten but I had my back turned thinking my dad would keep an eye on them, but he didn't.....what happened next was my worst nightmare for this situation, Sarah ended up chasing Ollie into its safe room and bailed him up in a corner, ofcourse Ollie tried to stick up for himself....Sarah backed off but she is hissing, growling at him now and she is not letting him out of his safe room. It is possible that a cat can be far too agressive to have another cat living in the same house?

It doesn't sound that extreme yet, when it comes to the point of cornering and dominating aggressively you just need to step in and subdue the tension there. Definitely keep up with the supervised interactions for a while, but if you see a chase start, try cutting it off without separating them. Step in before it gets aggressive and see if they start over without being separated and so on.

If you need to you can separate them completely for a few days, and do more scent-swapping between them - bedding etc. Put the kitten's used bedding in Sarah's part of the house and put treats on it for her to eat, and put her food bowl on it when you feed her. This will help her to associate the kitten's smell with good things. Then when she has got more used to his scent start again with supervised times when they can meet. A Feliway diffuser can help Sarah to feel more relaxed and calm.

That's my opinion anyway! Don't despair, hissing and swatting are quite normal and introducing a new cat can take a long time until they are content together - cats are above all creatures of habit and new situations are alarming and take a long period of adjustment.

I have had my younger kitten since the end of January, and my 2 cats are still separated when we are not around to supervise and at night. They are both boys and both young, so it is slightly different than your situation, they wrestle a lot and stare each other down trying to sort out who is going to be dominant (it will almost certainly be Sonic as Radar usually breaks the stare first and stays on the floor!)

Well on the advice of the shelter we have got them together...Sarah is attacking him at every opportunity, even if we give them a cooling off period Sarah is still out right attacking him...I'm sure if I hadn't off clipped her claws she would have drawn blood by now. I have had cats all my life and I have never seen this sort of reaction and I have had up to 3 cats in a house at once.....
Everytime she goes to attack him we are squirting them both to try and break up the chase-fight and them give them time out.

You need to keep them separated for at least several days or they will probably continue to fight. Please read this article, the advice in it really works!!!

http://www.thecatsite.com/Behavior/4...cing-Cats.html

just keep at it. Feed them wet food together, dishes up against the wall, so they are eating beside each other but can't really see each other. I have 2 cats who still hate each other, and its been since last August. It really will take time, and in the end, they might not be friends, but I can assure you that they will come to a point where they can coexist peacefully together.

We have got them separated now....I think the only way is going to be the slow way if they are going to get along....Thank you all so much I really need hand holding through this Jenny82, I will follow the advice in that article
Could the size of the flat/house be making a differenceto how this is panning out? We do live in a rather small flat, it has 2 bedrooms...I'm not sure if that has anything to do with this though...

Ok, it is much better now that we have separated them both....we starting over again....my partner got the bedding out of Ollies bed and swapped it with Sarahs, she was sleeping in her hidy hole in her cat gym, when she had her back turned my partner stuffed Ollies bedding in there with her...well she hissed at the bedding numeous times but she is just sleeping with the bedding still in there so I think it is a start.

Aww that's great! Keep us posted on how it works She will come around eventually.

Well things aren't looking good again....Sarah has stopped eating and she has started shaking, I think this is too stressful for her, Ollie is still locked up in his safe room...

As far as she's concerned, she's sleeping with the enemy - being punished (for nothing) by the bedding having been switched, and that on top of being preyed on. You really need to work this one out fast I think.

Well Sarah ate a little bit of her dinner and a few of her biscuits....we tried to put Ollie in a cat carrier and let Sarah come and sniff him.....the living room door is about 5 meters away to where her cat gym is situated...she was on the top of the cat gym well my partner got one step into the living room with Ollie in the cat carrier, she hissed and was about to chage across the room to where Ollie was in the cage. So we are going to try and find Ollie another home and if we can't find him a home he is going to go back to the shelter but we are going to sponsor him to find another home..

Mine took 2 weeks to stop fighting but now they are bonded. Your resident kitty just needs to realize that this cat is there to stay and you love them both and resident kitty will not lose food or attention because of the new kitty. My "new" kitty was a 6 wk old kitten so I continually rescued her from my older resident cat when he would terrorize her. Then he watched me cuddle the new kitty and pet her. Then I would let the new kitty go play some more and pick up resident kitty and cuddle him. Never leave them alone unsupervised until you are sure neither will get hurt. I let him dominate her as long as there was no hissing and no swatting. But he did hold her down and bite her neck (not hard) to show dominance and I let it happen until she cried. That way he would know that it was ok for him to be dominant as long as he didn't hurt her. After awhile he got used to the idea of having a new friend and he started big-brothering her.

Thank you all for your advice it came to the point that Sarah was trying to kill Ollie ...so we had to make the decision that Sarah just wasn't going to accept him. She was lunging and stalking him, I swear I have never seen her like this, I have never seen any cat like that. When we returned Ollie to the shelter, we asked the manager about Sarah and she said that Sarah was always in the corner....basicly a loner...so not sociable at all, I really wished I had of known this before because we wouldn't have tried to get her to accept another kitten to the house. Ahh well Ollie won't have any troubles finding a home because he was soo cute.